Today's Evil Beet Gossip
John Stamos

John Stamos Will Teach You How to Love Your Lady More Effectively

John Stamos on April 20, 2011

The key to effective lovin’, John Stamos tells us, is cuddling. Embedded below is a step-by-step guide, a veritable Kama Sutra of Snuggles, in which Stamos demonstrates how to take your Bob Saget—I mean, your lady—to new heights of pleasure.

It’s all for a good cause: John Stamos is raising awareness for Project Cuddle, a “non-profit organization that offers safe and legal alternatives to baby abandonment.” (Not that the video itself has anything to do with babies; I think the aim is simply to make “Stamos” synonymous with “cuddle.” Sold!)

Video possibly NSFW, thanks to one F-bomb.

Uncle Jesse to Appear on Glee?

photo of john stamos in a black jacket

Shit. If that’s true, it might actually make the show worth watching for me.

(Ducks while various blunt objects are thrown from the Glee fan gallery.)

Ahem, anyway, the show’s executives are reportedly eyeing John Stamos to make an appearance next season as Emma’s (Jayma Mays) dentist, who takes an interest in more than just her teeth. Will (Matthew Morrison) will obviously have a new rival, which should make things, um, interesting. Ish.

I’ve always been a John Stamos fan. I’m not quite sure whether or not he can act his way out of a bag, because I never really paid much attention to anything he’s really done outside of Full House (which, incidentally, is one of the best freaking shows ever) but I heard he actually is pretty talented and occasionally rips it up on Broadway. Who knew.

I have a good friend who also sort of loves John Stamos. Like, you know, in that creepy, “cut photos out of magazines in your late-twenties” kind of way. She used to have this pair of black Chucks that were all written-upon and frayed and torn, and there were John Stamos references penned all over those destroyed kicks. It was sort of funny, and we all used to laugh kind of nervously about it, but you know. It was all in good fun, right?

Anyway, what do you guys think? Could The ‘Mos make things even better on Glee, or do you think some would want to avoid tweaking what many consider “perfection”?

Uncle Jesse’s Extortion Scandal!

John Stamos

I’ve always heard rumors that John Stamos was a sexaholic and would hold two day swinger parties in the Chateau Marmont and his freaky side was what eventually led to the demise of his marriage with Rebecca Romijn. When I saw today that he was the victim of an extortion scandal over some photos I was like “Damn! We’re finally gonna get to see some Uncle Jesse dick!” My eight year old self who was in love with him wouldn’t even understand what that means. Turns out though that the pictures are actually nothing, just a fan posing with him on vacation.

From People:

“John Stamos was the target of an extortion attempt,” says Matt Polk, a rep for the actor, who is currently starring inBye Bye Birdie on Broadway. “The U.S. Attorney and the FBI handled the investigation swiftly and with great expertise.”

Stamos, 46, described only as “Mr. X” in a Dec. 3 FBI affidavit, was vacationing in Florida in 2004 when he met Coss. At the time, the pair and another friend attended a party where photos were allegedly snapped of the actor.

It remains unclear if the party occurred before or after Stamos and actress Rebecca Romijn announced their split that year.

So maybe what this Alison person had going for her was the allegation of a marriage-ending affair. Geez, I wonder where she got the idea that that might be lucrative?

Uncle Jesse Admits He Was Totally Stamos’d in Australia

Remember this? God it’s so good. One of my favorite instances of a controlled substance crash and burn by a celebrity. It’s got everything– slurred speech, nonsensical rambling, improper comments about the size of another man’s penis… sort of like some of the comments on this site.

I haven’t seen this video in two years– since June 2007 when Stamos visited Australian talk show Mornings with Kerri-Anne and everyone speculated that he was drunk, high, or both. Warner Bros quickly crawled all over itself to tell everyone that he was just jet-lagged and had a bad reaction to some sleeping pills. Anyone who’s ever ingested anything with a proof percentage printed on the label thought, “Yeah, right.”

Well, shocker of all shockers, he was drunk after all, and he finally owned up to it.

“I’ll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk. Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn’t, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, ‘Just say he was jet-lagged. I said, ‘No, tell ‘em the truth! I was fucking drunk in Australia. Big deal.’”

I don’t really care that someone famous went on a talk show drunk off his ass. Granted, if you show up drunk to work, you might have a problem. But to be fair, although it might have been 8AM in Australia, thanks to jet-lag John Stamos’ body clock was set to party time. (It’s always Stamos O’Clock somewhere.)

I just enjoy the fact that he finally came out to confirm how full of shit the studio is. And I really enjoy watching the aftermath on Youtube.

John Stamos Is Lying

Rebecca Romijn has a habit of marrying men who lie to the media.

First, her current husband Jerry O’Connell lied and told us he and Rebecca were “trying” to get pregnant, when he knew full well she was already knocked up.

And now, her ex-husband John Stamos is lying and saying he’s happy that she’s preggers with twins.

“I’m happy for all four of them,” John says in a statement to E!. “I wish them the best.”

Translation: “I hope their babies are fat. Like Jerry was when he was a kid. I hope their babies are fat and that they try to eat each other.”

MK & Ash Party with Bob Saget and John Stamos!


Via Page Six:

IT was a “Full House” reunion at the Bowery Hotel’s Lobby Bar Wednesday night, when the Olsen twins, Ashley and Mary-Kate, rolled in with their TV dad, Bob Saget, and their “Uncle Jesse,” John Stamos, to drink and party till the wee hours. Ashley drank red wine and whined, “I’m hungry, I want bolognese” – until hotel staff brought her spaghetti bolognese, even though they said they had a strict policy against serving food to nonguests. Mary-Kate chatted up Stamos and watched her sis chow down.


How amazing would it be if MK and John Stamos hooked up???

Sometimes I really feel like I’d sell my soul for such things to happen.