Today's Evil Beet Gossip
John Mayer

Katy Perry Might Be Engaged to John Mayer, But Probably Not

Katy Perry can’t shit without someone speculating whether it means she’s planning to get married again, and the rumours  hit fever pitch again this weekend when she was seen out with boyfriend/professional douchebag John Mayer on Valentine’s Day wearing a heart-shaped ruby ring.

First of all, even Katy – she of whipped cream rocket boobs and glittered cupcake dresses – isn’t tacky enough to have a heart-shaped engagement ring. Second of all, she’s not stupid enough to get married so soon after her divorce from Russell Brand (who described her as “perfect from top to bottom“) and to someone like John Mayer.

Here’s the ring in question, made by Santa Barbara-based jeweller Daniel Gibbings:

That ring looks like it came from a Cracker Jack box, but I bet it was expensive. Let’s all just stop trying to marry Katy Perry off again and let people wear jewellery without it meaning something other than “I really like this piece of jewellery”, okay?

Katy Perry Severs Rihanna Friendship

rihanna katy perry fashion show bff

Katy Perry, despite what most people think, is a smart and thoughtful woman. Instead of hopping on the Welcome Back Chris Brown Express, she’s allegedly letting friends know that she doesn’t approve of Rihanna dating Chris Brown. The lovely Rihanna and the lovely Ms. Perry became friends after sitting together at last year’s Grammy Awards. Look, let’s make something clear: Katy Perry is not victim blaming. She’s not telling Rihanna not to date Chris Brown; she’s recognizing that this is a choice her friend is making and she’s stepping aside. On the other manicured hand, however, there were reports that Rihanna didn’t want to be Katy’s friend because of who Katy is dating, Mr. John Douche-Of-The-Universe-Now-And-Forever Mayer. When asked about it, Rihanna told Rolling Stone,

Katy Perry can date anyone she wants.  Besides, who the f-ck am I to say anything?  I could never given relationship advice to anybody!

Oh my. Was Rihanna taking a dig at herself there?

All we know for sure is that Perry and Mayer sat nowhere near Rihanna and Brown and there was no interaction. We also know that Ms. Perry did not once compliment Chris Brown. And who would do that? Oh, right, someone like you.

Via US Weekly.

Russell Brand Uses Condoms And Will Probably Bang Demi Moore

russell brand demi moore sex

The look of terror: Stern asks Brand if he's made love to Demi Moore.

How do we all feel about Russell Brand? I’ve never been able to come to terms with my own feelings for the man. He seems awful and gross and yet he wrote something quite moving and wonderful about Amy Winehouse after her death. I don’t find him funny but I don’t find him unfunny, either. But if Katy deemed him a worthy chap, then perhaps he is. Although they did wind up divorced. He came to her honor though, refusing to speak ill of her while being interviewed on The Howard Stern Show (Is that STILL a thing?), though Mr. Stern did his damnedest. He “went there” when he asked this:

What do you make of you ex-wife dating John Mayer? It’s like doesn’t she know he’s a worse womanizer than you?

The charming Mr. Stern also added,

No, but seriously, you know I knew from the beginning you’d never stay married.

Wow! Stern and Brand (that sounds like a law firm) went on to discuss Mr. Brand’s love of yoga, which lead him to meeting his friend Demi Moore. Brand insists that they’re not anything more than friends, saying,

I really like her. She’s a beautiful person.

Not quite enough for dear Howard, who persisted,

But you’ve not made love to her yet.

“Made love”? Good heavens, Mr. Stern is quite the proper 1800s gent, isn’t he? To which Russell shouted, “I’VE NOT MADE LOVE TO HER YET.” Good on you, old boy. Stern also accused Brand of not having safe sex, based on how he looks. I can’t really blame Stern there. And Brand, with as good an attitude as ever,

I do use one every time I have carnal relations. You can’t have germs flying about everywhere.

In conclusion, Demi Moore and Russell Brand are absolutely going to contain their germs together.

John Mayer Knows He “Was” a Jerk, Doesn’t Seem to Care All That Much

john mayer pics, photos

John Mayer has a lot of feelings, people. I mean, have you listened to ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland’? If the answer is “unfortunately, yes” and you still have ears, listen up. You see, John knows he’s been promiscuous in his dating life and treated women like garbage, but now that Katy Perry has tamed him and taught him the error of his ways, he realizes he was probably wasn’t all that nice to his past girlfriends, a lengthy lists which includes Jennifer Aniston, Minka Kelly and Taylor Swift.

Appearing on CBS Sunday Morning, John said:

“I was just a jerk.”

That’s it. Not “I was a jerk, but I’ve got my shit together now” or “I can’t believe what an absolute asshat I was! So glad I’m not like that anymore!” Instead, you can take it or leave it because he doesn’t care one way or another what you think:

“It’s very liberating when you finally realize it’s impossible to make everyone like you. I wanted everybody to like me. I thought I was one shuck and jive away in every direction.”

As my mother used to tell me as a kid when I was desperate for one of those Cabbage Patch dolls with the hair you could actually crimp, “People in hell want ice water.” So basically, dream on. The day everyone – or even a fraction of the population – likes John Mayer is the day I start selling all my belongings and preparing for the end of days.

Katy Perry Changed John Mayer’s Soul, and the Color of His Aura Probably, Too

photo of john mayer and katy perry pictures, photos
Oh, you mean you didn’t hear? Because yes, John Mayer did an interview with Rolling Stone wherein he discussed how very happy Katy Perry has made him, and how much his life has changed for the better since he stopped being a feathered-hair doofus whose very favorite past time was objectifying women and subjecting them to bogus serenades like ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’. Things are so, so much better.

Here’s John talking about his new, sturdy relationship with Katy Perry:

I haven’t had any trouble in my private life at all. It’s been … I mean, I’m quite happy. I’m happy in all aspects of my life. I’m very happy in all aspects of my life.

And John on being wary of photographers:

I used to be incredibly put off by somebody taking a picture, thinking as if in some way it was it was invading my brain. But all it is, is you can see where I was last weekend. That’s all … That’s not tremendously frightening to me.

On Frank Ocean (?):

Frank is such an interesting, deep, touched, wonderful guy. He’s fascinating to me. He’s so great.

And last, on how he’s improving himself and his life and what we can expect in the coming days:

I’m interested in living more of a life that’s invisible to everybody and more vibrant to a fewer people that are in my life.

Oh, but wait. John Mayer was spotted getting cozy with ‘Girls’ star Allison Williams in New York City this past weekend, so there is still that, right? A leper never really loses his spots or whatever, don’t you know.

Katy Perry And John Mayer Are Ready for Kids

A photo of Katy Perry and John Mayer

Katy Perry and John Mayer started dating sometime in July of last year. Since then, they’ve broken up a few times, been photographed together a few times, and so now they’re totally ready to start having babies. Obviously.

Katy Perry is reportedly preparing “her body and mind” to have a baby.

Since going public with their relationship in December, Katy has been inseparable from her boyfriend John Mayer. The pop star is completely taken with John, with claims she is considering starting a family with her beau.

“She’s gained a few pounds,” a source explained to British magazine more! “Katy is taking a much needed break from work, and perhaps even getting her body and mind ready for pregnancy.”

The couple went on holiday to Hawaii over New Year, where John’s affection for the pop star was reportedly even clearer. The rocker was apparently unable to keep his eyes off Katy. An insider observed that John was constantly taking pictures of his girlfriend, claiming: “He couldn’t stop snapping away. Katy was happy to oblige – she found it very amusing.”

Katy was previously married to British comedian Russell Brand, with their divorce finalised in July 2012. John has dated celebrities such as Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift and Jennifer Aniston. Sources confide that John fell for Katy because of her self-sufficient nature.

“Katy is so independent and not needy and clingy like other girls he dated,” the source stated.

John recently sparked rumours that he may be planning on proposing to the California Dreams singer after he was spotted perusing engagement rings.

I don’t think I can explain why, but I can definitely see this being at least partly true. One of the reasons that Katy’s marriage to Russell Brand didn’t work out was that Russell really wanted children, and Katy said she did too, but when he talked about it, she shut him down (did you see her movie? This is in there.), and he wasn’t into it. If she had gotten pregnant, I think she’d still be married right now, but she wanted to focus on her career. Which, you know, that’s fair, but she told Russell a different story for a good long while.

But now that she doesn’t have an epic tour to do or new music to release, I can see her getting into a more laid back lifestyle. But mostly, I can see her having some kind of unhealthy, codependent relationship with John Mayer. And he’s a real bad boy, not a reformed one like Russell. I think she’d consider locking this thing down with a baby.

What do you think?

So I Guess Katy Perry And John Mayer Are Going to Move in Together

A photo of Katy Perry and John Mayer

From Hollywood Life:

It looks like notorious womanizer John Mayer might have finally found the woman to tame his wild ways in Katy Perry. The couple have been dating on and off since July, but after the two attended a Broadway show together on Dec. 12, it seems that things have become serious. A source tells HollywoodLife.com that John wants to move in with Katy!

“John wants to take his relationship with Katy to the next level,” the insider tells us. “He has suggested to Katy that they get a place of their own. He feels like she’s the one for him and wants to commit himself fully.”

Our source adds, “John is really into architecture and wants to create a ‘sanctuary’ for himself and Katy.” So sweet!

Well, this raises a lot of questions. What Broadway show did they see, and how did it change their relationship that much? Has John Mayer really changed, or did he just realize that Katy Perry is the most famous, most rich person that will ever get with him? Why have we never heard that he’s really into architecture? Is he going to design a new home for them, or did this source just think that being “really into architecture” sounded better than “really into decorating”?