Today's Evil Beet Gossip
John Mayer

True Love Dies Along with Katy Perry’s Relationship with John Mayer

A photo of John Mayer and Katy Perry

I’m so sorry, everyone. I’m sorry that we all have to start the day off with this kind of thing hanging over our heads. We all know that true love is a fleeting thing, something that’s so rare to catch and so hard to hold onto, so let’s take a moment of silence for one such love that just couldn’t last: the beautiful love that was so briefly but so strongly shared between Katy Perry and John Mayer.

Take all the time you need to compose yourself before reading on, all right? And when you’re ready, here’s the soundtrack:

We don’t know exactly what happened to bring an end to this love, and I apologize that I don’t have more answers for you. I can tell you that sources told Us Weekly that “she’s really upset about it” and that “she’s making it seem like it wasn’t serious with John, but she is hurt,” but People‘s sources tried to play it cool by just saying that “they were honestly having fun” and “people made it out to be far more than it was.” That source also speculates that the two will “end up as friends.” A likely story, source.

What a bummer summer, you guys.

Katy Perry and John Mayer: Still Doing It

photo of katy perry and john mayer pictures
See these two? It’s just getting gross. Now, I’ve never been a fan of John Mayer‘s look, either before or after his new 1980′s country-and-western-style Hee Haw garb of late, but John Mayer, guys, is just not attractive. Like, not at all. He looks like he’s got some lice chilling in that long, pulled back Johnny Depp-wannabe hair, and I would imagine that he’s all sorts of marshmallow soft underneath the many layers of skanky t-shirts he wears, and while there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, it’s wrong because of his face. His face makes it wrong.

This is the two of them at a mutual friend’s pool party earlier this month, and I think it’s a safe thing to say that these two are an “item,” if you can stand to call them that, too.

Wonder what it’s like for John to be dating a “real” woman, and not someone like Taylor Swift. One thing’s for sure … at least we know that if and when Katy and John give up the ghost, that Katy won’t be writing any songs lambasting John.

Oh wait ….

Katy Perry and John Mayer Are Getting Serious Now

photo of katy perry and john mayer pictures
… So serious that they’re having overnighters. Gosh. I never even thought that these two would be sleeping together by now, let alone SLEEPING TOGETHER. Gross. According to E!, they’ve been having sleepovers for awhile now:

“She has been having sleepovers there,” says a source. “It is very private and they’ve been sneaking in and out. It has been going on for a while.”

They probably only have eyes for each other, but should these rumored lovebirds want some companionship, Mayer’s house is just down the road from E!’s own Kris and Bruce Jenner’s Hidden Hills home.

I’m still not entirely sure I buy this. See, John‘s got this faux-deep side to him that he thinks attracts every woman known to man (and in the past, it … well, it has), but all of the women that John Mayer’s attracted have had at least three or four brain cells in their heads. Katy? Well. I’m not even sure she’s got that many. What’s in it for her, aside from fabricated mental and emotional stimulation? God only knows.