Oh, you mean you didn’t hear? Because yes, John Mayer did an interview with Rolling Stone wherein he discussed how very happy Katy Perry has made him, and how much his life has changed for the better since he stopped being a feathered-hair doofus whose very favorite past time was objectifying women and subjecting them to bogus serenades like ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’. Things are so, so much better.
Here’s John talking about his new, sturdy relationship with Katy Perry:
I haven’t had any trouble in my private life at all. It’s been … I mean, I’m quite happy. I’m happy in all aspects of my life. I’m very happy in all aspects of my life.
And John on being wary of photographers:
I used to be incredibly put off by somebody taking a picture, thinking as if in some way it was it was invading my brain. But all it is, is you can see where I was last weekend. That’s all … That’s not tremendously frightening to me.
On Frank Ocean (?):
Frank is such an interesting, deep, touched, wonderful guy. He’s fascinating to me. He’s so great.
And last, on how he’s improving himself and his life and what we can expect in the coming days:
I’m interested in living more of a life that’s invisible to everybody and more vibrant to a fewer people that are in my life.
Oh, but wait. John Mayer was spotted getting cozy with ‘Girls’ star Allison Williams in New York City this past weekend, so there is still that, right? A leper never really loses his spots or whatever, don’t you know.
January 31, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
From Blind Gossip:
This high-profile female celebrity bought her boyfriend a beautiful new automobile this holiday season. She even told him that there were no strings attached so that he could feel more manly about it.
He is so appreciative of her thoughtful gift that the first thing he did was to thank her with a few special hours in the bedroom.
The second thing he did was to start calling dealerships and researching the car online to get an idea of its value. That way, when they break up with next year, he can sell it for cash.
He has told friends that he already knows the relationship will likely not survive the upcoming scandal of her discovering how much he cheats on her. But will she be surprised when she finds out the gender of those with whom he is cheating?
So now, I don’t know if Katy Perry bought John Mayer a car, but duh, it wouldn’t really be at all surprising if Katy Perry did buy him a car, because Katy Perry would totally do what she needed to do to keep a man. Also not surprising? That John Mayer would be cheating so brashly on Katy Perry and not really trying to hide it. That last thing? The thing about John Mayer cheating on Katy with other dudes? Well. Also not surprising. As a matter of fact, nothing about this whole situation is all that surprising, and the fact that it’s not surprising isn’t surprising either.
December 29, 2012 at 8:00 am by Sarah
No, I’m just kidding. She totally looks lovelier than ever. But you can definitely tell that she’s getting nice and cozy in her relationship with John Mayer, now that he’s actually allowing her to be seen with him in more public places than just entering and exiting hotels for illicit trysts:
Also, remember how Emily told you guys that she and John—Katy and John, that is; not Emily and John—did the Big Thing this year and celebrated Christmas together? Because they did, and if the idea of John and Katy bumping uglies (or at least, Katy bumping John’s ugly with her pretty) didn’t entirely repulse you, I have yet another photo that might. Don’t say I didn’t warn you:
… Because you just know that he’s all sweaty and nude and unwashed underneath that scratchy Santa suit, right?
Anyway, Creepy John aside—Katy Perry’s casual look: love it or leave it?
December 28, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah
In case you guys didn’t know, John Mayer and Katy Perry are dating. Did you know that? Because they are. But prior to last night, the only times they were seen together in public were on illicit dates, but something special must have happened and now? Well. Now they know their love is real. See, now that they’re showing up on the red carpet together—meaning they’ve crossed the blurry lines between creepy, only-in-it-for-the-sex couple to full-blown wannabe-A-list business—they’re making it their business to make this relationship strictly business for the purpose of show business (and sex, too). You guys picking up what I’m putting down?
Anyway, the two were photographed together last night in New York City at ‘A Christmas Story: The Musical’ looking all sorts of starry-eyed. That’s the gist of this.
In related Katy and John news, Katy’s parents are said to be smitten with their daughter’s choice in men, and isn’t that just the best holiday news you could possibly receive?
Despite Mayer’s chequered dating history, he has reportedly won over not only Katy but her protective parents too:
“Katy’s parents really like John, they prefer him over Russell,” a source told British magazine more! “They thought Russell was too temperamental.”
Katy’s ma and pa are said to still be close to Russell with reports earlier this week even claiming that the desperate Brit comedian was trying to get Katy’s parents to warn their daughter off John.
Things between Katy and John seem to be going from strength to strength though with the source adding that they’re hoping to move in together:
“John and Katy have decided to give it a proper go and find a place in LA to share,” the source continued.
“She’s happier than she’s been in a very long time. She admits she rushed into it quickly, but is determined to follow her heart.”
These two. I just don’t know what we’re going to do with them, you know? They’re on, they’re off, they’re impressing the other’s parents … I sure wouldn’t hold my breath on that monogamy thing, though.
December 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
From the Gossip Center:
Reuniting again after a well-known break-up, Katy Perry and John Mayer have reportedly been spotted cozying up around Tinseltown.
On Saturday (November 10), the on-again couple attended a party at St. Felix in Hollywood to celebrate the birthdays of Hello Giggles blogger Sophia Rossi and “New Girl” co-creator Liz Meriwether. At the bash, the “Wide Awake” singer and her 35-year-old beau looked “so affectionate,” according to an Us Weekly source.
The insider noted that they looked to be “full on dating” and continued, “John had his hand on Katy’s back a lot, and they were kissing and holding hands.”
Ugh, ugh, and ugh. Can these two get more pathetic? Wait, let me rephrase that: can Katy Perry get more pathetic? Because we all know just how pathetic John Mayer is, and how he pretty much can’t get any lower no matter HOW many A-list starlets he ends up bagging, so I’m putting the whole thing on Katy Perry now. This is all her fault, and any silliness that ensures from here on out, she is *totally* asking for, because I’m sorry. But John Mayer is like the Homer Simpson of celebrities, belches, ass-gas and all.