Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas used to date back in the day until he unceremoniously dumped her out of nowhere because it was his “choice” to do so. While Demi was mad at him for a long time, she says they’re totally tight now! It’s not at all awkward or strange… except for the times it is, of course.

From ABC’s Nightline News:

For a few months in 2010, Lovato famously dated Joe Jonas of the famed Jones Brothers. While their relationship and eventual break-up made them a constant paparazzi target, Lovato said the two are now friends — Jonas even tweeted congrats to Lovato for “Demi” this week — but it wasn’t always so easy.

“When you go through heartbreaks and things like that, you always have in mind somebody,” she said. “It’s like when you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of somebody, you’re going to be reminded. But keeping that in mind … it’s a delicate balance.

“We were in a relationship and we broke up, and at one point, I was really mad at him,” Lovato continued. “Now, I can, fortunately, say, that him, and his brother Nick, have always been there for me, and are literally family, and like brothers … we have a great friendship. And we may not be as close as we used to be, but that’s OK.”

Joe Jonas apparently has a very kinky very un-Jonasy sex tape about to wreak havoc on his career. Mr. Jonas responded to the claims with this lolzworthy tweet:

To which Blind Gossip says, “Spin, little Jonai, spin!” They say that the tape (using the term “tape” loosely of course, as everything is done digitally nowadays) is very much real and is going to come out on the 3rd of April. Here’s their update:

It’s apparently called a “ball gag”, not a “gag ball”. Sorry that we didn’t know the proper BDSM terminology.

Some of you have asked about the drugs they were doing at the beginning of the tape. It wasn’t cocaine or heroin. It was marijuana. They weren’t using a bong or a pipe. They were smoking what’s called a “blunt”. It looks like a small cigar.

Who the hell reads and writes Blind Gossip, elementary schoolers?

The tape was apparently Mr. Jonas’ eye-rollingly hipster girlfriend’s idea, whose name I’m not going to even mention because I want to deny her of publicity, and not even because I like the Jonas Brothers, because I don’t, I don’t even care about them, but because of reasons Bitch and Please.

April 3, everyone! Put reminders in your Smartphones! It’s like Christmas!

Joe Jonas, one of the Jonas brothers three, is accused of having a sex tape out there with his hipster-looking girlfriend. A sex tape with some kinky stuff. But the curly haired Jonas Brother dismissed it via Twitter, tweeting:

I loled.

Whether it’s real or not, you’d be really surprised by what some seemingly clean-cut guys (with maybe small penises) are into…

BlindGossip has alllll of the explicit details of the alleged tape:

The sex tape was made earlier this month in a room at Park Tower, a hotel in Buenos Aries, Argentina. Blanda, who describes herself as model from Switzerland, is traveling with the Jonas Brothers while they are on tour in South America.

The people who were in the room while the tape was being made were Joe, Blanda, and the photographer/videographer. The p/v is a friend of the couple, and was asked to shoot the video because they both trusted him. In addition to the video, he also took some very explicit nude photos of the couple.

At the beginning of the video, Joe and Blanda are sitting on the bed together. They are both drinking and smoking pot, and Blanda explains to Joe what she is going to do to him in detail.

They proceed to engage in multiple sex acts utilizing a variety of sex toys, including a large dildo, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle. Joe participates willingly, but seems less sure of how to use the sex toys, as well as how they will be used on him. He does not enjoy being paddled. At one point he has had enough and cries “Owww! Don’t do that anymore!” Blanda is the more dominant one in the video. At one point she inserts the dildo inside of herself, orders Joe to “lick my p**** juice off of it,” and he complies.

The couple is very vocal and there is a lot of overly dramatic screaming and moaning. The sex is explicit, and there are multiple close-up shots of Joe’s face, penis and testicles, as well as Blanda’s face, breasts, and vagina. In between sex acts, they consume shots of alcohol. The video looks as if it was shot over the course of several hours, and some scenes were shot multiple times, so we do not know which takes will appear on the final cut. Both Joe and Blanda start out sober but appear to be inebriated by the end of it.

BlindGossip.com has received multiple tips over the past year from people close to Joe Jonas. They report that he is very depressed about his career and that his drug and alcohol use has spiraled out of control. They are most concerned about his frequent use of hard drugs and his close association with others who use cocaine and heroin. They say that he has lost almost 20 lbs over the past couple of months and attribute it to his drug use. They also report that his substance abuse has increased significantly in both quantity and frequency since he began dating Eggenschwiler in 2012.

The Jonas family has been acutely aware of Joe’s drinking and drug habits for over a year. They have encouraged him to seek treatment, but he has thus far refused, adamantly insisting that he does not have a problem. Since he is an adult, they cannot force him to go to rehab.

Our sources tell us that Blanda planned the sex tape as a way to bolster her own fame and to make money. She encouraged Joe to participate, recruited the professional photographer/videographer, provided the sex toys, and directed all of the action.

Eggenschwiler has been working in conjunction with a celebrity sex tape distributor to facilitate the release of the video. She will receive a 35% cut of the video’s revenues. Since we broke the story before the official April 3rd release date, we believe that the distributor will now accelerate his time frame and will start contacting media outlets in the next 24 hours in an attempt to sell the tape and photos.

Eggenschwiler has told friends that Jonas was merely a stepping stone for her, that she has no interest in staying with him once the tape is out, and that she hopes that the sex tape will launch her career “like Kim Kardashian.” Eggenschwiler will deny her involvement in the distribution of the tape, and will express embarrassment about its release in the hopes of avoiding a backlash from Jonas supporters.

While Jonas actively participated in the creation of the tape, we do not know if he is aware that Eggenschwiler has given the tape to a distributor and that she has a significant financial stake in its sale.

This is what happened at Britney’s recent London show, where Joe was a guest star, and later, the victim of her on-stage pole assault. In fact, it was so traumatizing for Joe that it took him hours to recuperate and make an attempt at a half-hearted Tweet “thanking” Britney for her cooties:

What a great night! LONDON! you rule! what a way to end the @britneyspears tour. And.. @britneyspears thanks for the strip tease.. ;)

Yes, thanks. Thanks kind of like, “Thanks for running my foot over with a grocery cart in the cereal aisle, you blind old bitch,” or “Thanks for accidentally telling the boss that my ‘doctor’s appointment’ was actually a spa day, you f*ck.” I get where you’re going with this Joe, and believe me – I feel more than just sympathy for you. I feel embarrassment, too, because your crappy haircut is almost worse than what happened on stage.

Is “penis” an OK word for you guys in the headlines? I mean, I wouldn’t want to get any of you in trouble at work or anything if your boss happened to walk by and it appeared – APPEARED – that you might be investigating the specifics of a Jonas brother‘s wang. I remember how it used to be before I started working from home: the hot, sweaty panic that’d ensue if someone happened by and you just couldn’t close the browser in time. Ugh, hate that. Now that I work from home, however, I only have to worry about my husband walking by and wondering why I’m Googling “Disney star penis sizes.” Generally, though, I have no explanation for it, but whatevs.

Anyway, our friends over at The Dirty have an exclusive insider that supposedly got a lot of information from Demi Lovato about her still-kinda-private breakdown, and no Disney stars were left unscathed.

On the Joe Jonas relationship:

She openly admitted to members and patients in rehab, that she has had sexual intercourse with Joe Jonas and it started since the beginning of Camp Rock. That they would frequently do it and that the Jonas Brothers Purity ring was complete crap. None of the brothers followed that rule and was a “publicity gain” to make fans and more endorsements come in that was enforced by their father who was Demi’s manager. Joe and Demi dated earlier in the beginning of the Camp Rock Rise of Fame but she revealed that he was a “player who was in it for sexual gain” and his penis was “small.”

On punching a member of her staff:

Demi told staff that she had been frequent (sic) partying and had an experience with drugs and that Alex Welch threatened to tell her family, manager and people from Disney; but Demi responded that it was “none of her business” and than physically attacked her which she realized was her breaking point and that she needed help.

On drug use and sharing with her peers:

She was a frequent marijuana user and would “smoke weed with Miley Cyrus”. She also tried Cocaine and Heroin at a party but decided she hated it.

Do I believe it? Mm. Parts, yes. The part about Miley Cyrus being a pothead, definitely. You could see that a mile away. The mole also got their attack details right, but Joe Jonas with a small penis? Let’s be realistic. We all know that it’s KEVIN who’s the eenie weenie short short man out of all the Jonaii.

This video of a Paramount exec calling up Joe Jonas to tell him that he didn’t land the role of Spiderman due to his set of particularly thick thighs has been floating around the ‘nets today, and while I don’t think it’s real (just a very good impression), I can’t help but laugh knowing that this is exactly how such matters are handled in this town.

Well, it’s actually not exactly how they’d be handled. Normally a call like this would go to a manager and then the manager would have to break the news to their client that they’re a little too bottom heavy to make the cut, but the passive-aggressive tone? The semi-ass kissing? The “I’m too busy for this but hey! It’s Joe Jonas!” attitude? Oh, that is SO VERY Hollywood.

Let’s just celebrate the idea that we may have gotten the Gift of Garfield because a certain JoBro hasn’t been doing his squats, okay?

Demi Lovato recently admitted herself to a treatment center for help with her cutting and emotional problems and while everyone is citing a fight with one of her back up dancers as what made Demi realize she needed help, these problems have been going on for some time.

A source close to Joe Jonas, Demi’s last boyfriend, spoke to People and said that the two split because of Demi’s behavior:

…while Joe, 21, was dating Demi, she “was a true teenager in love.” But despite her feelings for the middle Jo Bro, he had to end things because “Demi’s attitude and behavior were out of control.” The report continues on to say that she was “a mess” and “tortured.”

It seems that Joe saw the troubling signs in Demi long before she broke down at the airport. The source also insists that everyone knew about her problems, including her battle with cutting: “‘It wasn’t a secret. She was getting help.”

There’s nothing funny about this, per se, but I would have killed to have been a fly on the wall during one of Joe and Demi’s fights. She’ll be fine. She definitely will. She’s 18 and doesn’t appear to be too into partying (I choose not to believe the reports that homegirl is a cokehead), but I’m sure those fights were some epic teenage drama.

And about this Camp Rock business … I have to admit: I was a big fan. I’m not normally a Disney-watcher (I’m twenty-seven years old, for fuck’s sake), but I stumbled upon the debut of Camp Rock a few years ago when it first aired and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. No matter how I wanted to flip past the channel, I couldn’t. The only way that I was able to stop the madness was when my husband came home from a golf tournament that night — as soon as I heard the key in the front door, that shit was gone. Could you imagine? How embarrassing. Much to my poorly-executed chagrin, however, he turned into bed early and I was able to resume watching … Camp Rock. Loved it. And it’s become The Day After Tomorrow for me — one of those movies that just has to be watched when it’s on television, regardless of what’s going on that day or night.

Is it one of my favorite movies? Hardly. Would I go out and rent it, or worse, buy it? Fuck to the no. One thing I will say, though: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam debuts September 3rd at 8 PM ET sometime soon, and I am all about that shit.

I mean, uh, cool for them.

Wow. Sometimes news comes across my desk and it kills me to report it, but that’s my job. It’s not all unicorns and Kardashians over here, you know?

So Joe Jonas and Demi Lovaoto have supposedly broken up, and according to the hamface who got the exclusive, not only did the break up happen over the phone, but Joe had his dad break the news to Demi. That’s right, Joe Jonas had his father break up with his girlfriend. How low is that?

Demi’s not heartbroken over it, though. The source said that Demi got her tears out and is already moving on and exploring her dating options. Damn. Demi Lovato is single and almost legal. Shoot. Her stock is through roof. Your loss, JoJoBro.

… And with his ever-present purity ring, would you expect it any other way?

Yeah. Anyway. Joe Jonas claims that he’s going to release a solo album, so it looks like the days of the JoBros are quickly coming to a close:

“There’s nothing to hide. We’re just waiting for the right timing. There’s a lot of Jonas stuff going on this year, so once there’s a place for that record, we’ll release it. You’ll hear a lot of new music from us.”

See, when I was a much younger girl, I loved Hanson. I mean, I fucking loved Hanson. I was one of those pathetic little fangirls that’d get all crazy when I saw televised appearances of the flaxen-haired singing trio and I’d cry if I’d see them in person (which I did, many, many times). I was sick; it was a sickness. I went to their concerts, made scrapbooks of news articles that I had clipped from magazines and played their music, like, incessantly. It was bad, and it’s embarrassing now, but I can really feel for the girls who are so wrapped on the Jonas thing — it’d be like Isaac (yeah, my totally favorite dorky-assed Hanson that I so would have married at the age of thirteen) announcing that he was leaving the band back in 1995 or whatever. I’d have been devastated, so I totally feel you kids of today’s world. I feel you.

Nah, I’m actually just joshin’. Lovato tweeted a photo of herself looking a bit worse for the wear earlier today, but it’s just a sneak-peak at her upcoming stint on Grey’s Anatomy.

The episode, “Sonny With a Chance”, debuts next month and centers around Lovato’s schizophrenic episodes and subsequent hospitalization at Seattle Grace.

Will you be watching — you know, even though it wasn’t Joe Jonas who clawed her eyes out, and hell, why should he?  It’s not like she keeps fawning over him and swooning all over the place about how dreamy and prince-y he is or anything.

People.com has this story up right now. Their headline is “Demi Lovato Wants the World to Know She Loves Joe Jonas”, which made me LOL. I was pretty hard on these two at first, but then I thought about it and I was like, “Fuck it! Their young kids in love.” And Demi’s gushing about Joe during an interview with a Canadian entertainment show sounded pretty much like any high school aged chick going on and on about how bananas she is about her boyfriend. Remember your high school sweetheart and you thought you’d totally “found the one” and that you guys would “be together forever” and “keep the baby if you got pregnant”? That’s what she sounded like.

The choice quotes from her interview:

On dating Joe: “It’s amazing! It’s a great feeling! When you’re in love, you want the world to know!”

On their gossip rag nickname: “They call us ‘Jemi,’ which I think is pretty funny,”

On how out-of-control wild it is that she’s a celebrity and that someone might recognize her and ask her about her boyfriend that she publicly swoons over: “It’s really weird, because random strangers will be like, ‘How’s Joe?’ And I’m just like, ‘What?’ But it’s fun. It’s really special, and we’re having a good time.”

Anyway, so I’m totes on team Jemi now, guys! Great for them! They’re like the new Justin & Britney (OMFG, they fuckin’ wish.) Their break up will probably be epic. Not like “Demi has sex with Wade Robson and they both write break up albums and ridiculously dramatic music videos to explain their side of the story and then they have a dance-off in an NYC nightclub to ‘settle the score’”-awesome, but I bet some kind of scandalous business will go down.