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Jodie Sweetin

Jodie Sweetin Continues to Make Really Healthy Decisions

Jodie Sweetin Gets Married, Weds Cody Herpin in Las Vegas

You know what they say: if the new boobs don’t heal the pain you feel inside, a hasty marriage will.

It’s Jodie Sweetin’s new mantra. The 25-year-old former Full House star got hitched earlier this month to Cody Herpin, a set driver (I’m serious — check his IMDB page — he’s an on-set driver). The best part? She only met him a few weeks ago, and they eloped to Vegas.

National Enquirer quotes a “friend” of Sweetin saying that “She believes she’s finally met her soulmate,” and I can hear the sarcasm and disdain even in black-and-white print. The friend may as well have been like, “Seriously, this bitch made more sense when she was hopped up on crack.”

Jodie’s been married once before, to the genius of a husband who was both a cop and blissfully unaware of his wife’s methamphetamine addiction. I need to run into that kind of cop more often when I’m strung out and driving. The actress reportedly got help and got clean, but National Enquirer ran a story in May saying that she’d relapsed.

How long do we figure this new marriage will last? My money’s on four months. Or until they run out of coke.