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Joan Rivers

2Joan Rivers and Jennifer Lawrence Are In a Legit Feud

jennifer lawrence joan rivers

Everyone loves Jennifer Lawrence, right? She’s great! She’s zany and awkward and has no problem talking about her bowel movements on national television! Oh, and she’s a really great actress, too. But while the nation might be ready to make JLaw their new BFF (as they have been for a few years running, now), there’s one person who’s fighting the opposite corner: Joan Rivers.

Basically, in case you forgot this bullshit, Jennifer Lawrence once said that Rivers’ Fashion Police promotes the wrong values – something she’s been quite outspoken on basically her entire career. Rivers didn’t take too kindly to anyone slamming her nothing of a show and called JLaw “arrogant”, which was sorta the end of that… or so you would think!

Actually, Joan is talking about Jennifer AGAIN, saying it’s her NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION to get Jennifer Lawrence to “grow up”… and embrace snarking on other people’s outfits? I don’t really get her point, but here’s the quote:

“My New Year’s resolution is [ensuring] Jennifer Lawrence grows up and realizes how lucky she is and calms down.

“I love that she’s telling everyone how wrong it is to worry about retouching and body image, and meanwhile, she has been touched up more than a choir boy at the Vatican. Look at her posters. She doesn’t have a nose, she has two holes.

“She just has to learn, don’t talk if you’re doing it.”

Well, to be fair, Joan Rivers, Jennifer Lawrence isn’t a magazine editor and gets no say as to how and when she’s airbrushed or touched up on magazine shoots. Second of all, you’re basically telling her not to have any morals or standards in life and embrace fakeness, as you clearly have with your 9,000 plastic surgeries. Why don’t you “grow up” and embrace aging naturally?

I’m not saying Jennifer Lawrence is perfect or faultless or anything of the sort, but I feel like Joan needs to get a hobby. No one’s gonna join the JLaw hate train with you, lady… except maybe others who are just as bitter.

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December 31, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

2…And Now Joan Rivers Is Using Homophobic and Racist Slurs

joan rivers

Joan Rivers has something to say about everything, even when her opinion is irrelevant and unasked for. That being said, none of us should be surprised that she felt the need to speak out in what I think was supposed to be defense of Alec Baldwin and his recent MSNBC firing over his use of homophobic slurs. I suppose Joan felt she should fight fire with fire, so when talking to TMZ, she went off on a rant that included using the words “nigger”, “chink” and “fairy”. Uh… WHAT?

I’ve always hated Joan Rivers and think she has zero idea of what’s supposed to be funny. “Shock” comedians don’t do anything for me – you’re not edgy or hilarious because you’re further marginalizing a group that’s already discriminated against. There is nothing appealing about that at all, nor is there anything appropriate about it. I know she’s an 80-year-old woman, but I sort of wish someone would walk by and bitch slap her right across the face. Not that violence is going to solve anything, I realise, but holy shit this makes my blood boil.

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November 28, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

0Joan Rivers Thinks Jennifer Lawrence Is “Arrogant”, JLaw Remains Awesome

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Jennifer Lawrence is excellent in so many ways, one of which being her outspoken nature. In particular, she’s always been vocal about how bullshit it is that women are pressured to be stick thin in Hollywood and how she refuses to diet because she likes food too much and thinks it’s better to look strong than like a stick figure (unless, of course, that’s your natural shape).

However, apparently her thoughtfulness about the terrible standards set for women in the industry really rankled Joan Rivers, as JLaw took a shot at E!’s Fashion Police for the way it plays into this trend. Come on, ya miserable old bitch, let’s see what you’ve got to say:


I mean, let’s be frank. Did Jennifer Lawrence actually “love” Fashion Police? And when did she not have a movie to promote? Somehow, I think this is all bullshit. Being pleasant to your face and not a total cunt when she’s got promotion to do is good manners. If she’d met you and started calling you an awful cow to your face, you’d have had a go at her for that, too. Ugh, I’m not Jennifer’s biggest fan or anything close, but Joan Rivers needs to learn when to shut the hell up. The woman literally never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything (and LOL, I know one of you will point out the shit I say on this site, but I’m not even going to justify that with a response). She’s just rude – and not even funny about it like Kathy Griffin.

On a side note, JLaw warmed the hearts of many again on Monday night at Catching Fire‘s London premiere, where she comforted a young fan in a wheelchair that she saw crying, pushing aside a barricade to give her a hug, wrap her back up in her blanket, take a picture with her and talk for a moment. What a sweetie.

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November 13, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

17Joan Rivers Thinks Miley Cyrus Is Disgusting

joan rivers miley cyrus

I generally don’t take Joan Rivers‘ opinion on anything seriously – besides maybe plastic surgery – so I’m not sure that her recent rant about Miley Cyrus will make many waves in Hollywood. However, she clearly felt she needed to lash out at the ‘Wrecking Ball’ singer, who Joan describes as “disgusting”. Well, that’s that.

From OK Mag:

”Enough! That girl is disgusting. She should know her audience, and her audience is 17-year-old girls! I would never have let [now 45-year-old daughter] Melissa go to a concert like that at 17 years of age.”

Well, that’s nice and all… I mean, listen – no one can deny that Miley is over the top and a total mess, but to call her disgusting seems like a bit of a low blow. Some of what she DOES I personally find unappealing, but Joan Rivers is just such a miserable old fucking cow now. It’s a shame, because while I never found her funny, I can recognise how revolutionary she was in the comedy world. There’s nothing funny about the shit she’s been running her mouth about in the past few years, and I think SHE is the disgusting one.

I never thought I’d be defending Miley Cyrus – and I’m not, really really – but seriously, shut up, Joan Rivers.

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November 3, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Joan Rivers, Miley Cyrus

5Joan Rivers Made a Rihanna-Chris Brown Joke and Everybody Jumped All Over Her, Too

photo of joan rivers pictures
And I say “too,” because it happened just yesterday when Evan Rachel Wood made her “joke” about Miley Cyrus and her “lesbian hair.”

Anyhoo, Joan Rivers saw the Oprah Winfrey-Rihanna interview that everyone’s going all crazy over (seriously, Rihanna says she still loves Chris Brown and was more worried about him after he beat the snot out of her; it’s craziness), and she decided to make a comment of her own on Twitter. This is what she said:

Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfrey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it’s MY turn to slap her.

To which Rihanna responded:

CONTROL YOUR SPEECH! #devotionnavy http://t.co/Y3BdgfPU

And in following the link, it takes you to … well, this:

photo of rihanna control your speech pictures
So now Rihanna’s spouting Bible verses to people who say she’s cray-cray for defending Chris Brown to the death (probably hers).

Now, I don’t agree that Joan Rivers was entirely in the right for what she said (because there’s always going to be *someone* who’s offended by an ill-placed “joke”), but really. What does Rihanna expect when she goes public, confirming that yeah, she loves Chris Brown and they’re probably still doing it on the regular? People are going to judge her for her actions, right or wrong. It’s going to happen. “Control your speech” though? Come on. Some might say that, unlike the slap(s) she received from Chris Brown, she might “deserve” those she’d receive from a pissed-off Joan Rivers. Like, you know. Joan Rivers.

August 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Joan Rivers, Rihanna

0Quotables: Joan Rivers Rips on Goldie Hawn, Betty White

“She’s been pulled so tight, they say, that when she swallows she has an orgasm.”

Joan Rivers gives David Letterman the inside scoop on Goldie Hawn’s plastic surgery.

Oh gosh. When I read this, I screamed. I literally screamed. It’s gems like these…! I’m telling you, there’s a reason Joan Rivers is America’s second-best living insult comic. (As for Melissa Rivers? Well, I am forever grateful to her for signing my Los Angeles Avengers Arena football.)

But Joan wasn’t done, going on to insinuate that Betty White slept her way to the top.

“She is known in the business as ‘Bendover Betty,’” Rivers announces. Letterman looks genuinely embarrassed. Come on, Dave! I thought everyone knew, at least in her prime, Betty White was a man-eater on the prowl. And—while you wouldn’t guess it from her Password appearances—Betty White will do nudity. Will she ever! She is a sex panther! My last boyfriend slowly worked his way through the 2011 Betty White pin-up calendar, and all I can say is, yowza.

Elsewhere, Rivers admitted she pulled a Whitney Houston joke from a recent episode of E! Fashion Police:

“Once somebody’s dead [we pull it],” she said, “That’s why I won’t do a Betty White joke, because I’m so scared.”

Bam! Pow! If I were Betty, I’d be terrified of Joan Rivers.

February 17, 2012 at 6:30 am by Jenn
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