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Jessica Simpson

1Jessica Simpson’s Getting Paid for Those Baby Photos

photo of jessica simpson pictures photos pregnant post baby pic
From Radar Online:

Jessica Simpson has done a deal to sell her daughter’s first pictures for an incredible $800,000.

The Fashion Star judge has brokered the impressive amount in return for People magazine running exclusive photos of the tot, according to Women’s Wear Daily. The 31-year-old star, whose celebrity fashion line is reported to have earned her one billion dollars, gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Maxwell Drew, by fiancé Eric Johnson on May 1.

Simpson’s huge payday still ranks her well behind other celebrities who hit premium pay dirt with their progenies. Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend sold the first photos of their newborn son Levi to OK! magazine for $3 million. Jennifer Lopez is thought to have received $6 million from People for the first look at her twins. And the same publication reportedly gave Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt around $11 million for the exclusive on their twins Vivienne and Knox.

First of all, wait a damn minute. These magazines are paying 3, 5, 7, 11 million dollars to be the magazine to claim FIRSTIES on celebrity baby photos?! Consider me completely floored. It’s not as if no one’s ever going to see those babies anyway. Spending such an exorbitant amount of money on photos of babies who are not going to be babies forever is just completely beyond me. I mean, how many more people are going to buy your magazine because there’s a picture of a celebrity baby in it? My point exactly.

Also, why is Jessica Simpson‘s baby so much less important than the babies of Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey? Come on! Jessica Simpson’s baby trumps all of those other silly babies. I’m disappointed that People couldn’t do better than a measly $800k, aren’t you?

May 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

0Hate to Tell You This, But Jessica Simpson Is Doing the Maternity Line

photo of jessica simpson pictures pregnancy fashion pic

Simpson’s new line — which will be available at Destination Maternity, Motherhood Maternity and Macy’s stores this fall — includes “breezy, everyday pieces aimed at the modern mom-to-be who wants to maintain her fashion edge throughout her pregnancy,” according to a release.

“I’m so excited to partner with Destination Maternity to design a collection of fashionable styles that make you look and feel great,” Simpson said in the release. “You want to wear clothes that are flattering to your baby bump; you want to show your bump off.”

Oh dear. I think we’re going to have a problem here. See, I love Jessica Simpson, and I loved her adorable, down-to-earth pregnancy, but her fashion sense throughout the entire thing? Bad, bad business. I’m not going to even pretend that the things she gently swathed her burgeoning belly with were anywhere near close to OK in my book, because even a blind old lady who doesn’t leave the house shouldn’t wear half of the things Jess was photographed out in public wearing. Remember this, for example?:

photo of jessica simpson pregnancy fashion pics
Or this?:

And last, but certainly not least, this:

photo of jessica simpson maternity clothes pics
Because the fact remains: while girlfriend is probably one of the best celebrities out there, there’s no damn way that she’s in a position to advise others on what they should be wearing during their special nine months.

Check out the gallery for more of Jess’s fashion faux pas.

May 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

3Everybody Loves Jessica Simpson’s Baby

A photo of Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson

But especially Ashlee Simpson and her son, Bronx.

From People:

Just hours after Jessica Simpson gave birth to daughter Maxwell Drew, her sister Ashlee Simpson says she’s smitten with the newest family member.

“Bronx and I are in love with Maxwell already!” Ashlee, who is mom to 3-year-old son Bronx, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Jessica has wanted to be a mom since we were little girls and I couldn’t be more excited for her and Eric!”

Ashlee has already begun spoiling her niece: In March, she gifted her with a tiny Fendi dress and matching garment bag while celebrating the impending birth at Jessica’s Charlotte’s Web-themed baby shower.

“Ever since Ashlee had Bronx, we’ve become closer and closer,” Jessica told PEOPLE at the time. “I’m glad that our babies are just going to be three years apart.”

So is Bronx, who can’t wait to have a little playmate.

“He records songs on my sister’s iPhone about the things he wants to do with the baby, like swim in the ocean and go to the playground,” Jessica said. “The first one just made me cry. We’re making a CD of them – it was the best gift of all.”

How excited are you over Jessica Simpson’s baby? Is it weird to be so excited? Is it weird to have spent last night outside, waiting for a shooting star so that you could make a wish that Jess would post a picture of that big ol’ baby* on Twitter in a few weeks? That’s totally normal, right?

*Little Maxwell Drew Simpson was born at nine pounds and 13 ounces, and she’s just under 22 inches long. I did a tiny bit of research, since I know some of you were wondering, and according to good ol’ Wikipedia, it looks like the average weight of a full-term baby is seven and a half pounds with mostly all of then falling in the six to ten pound range, and the average length is anywhere from 14 to 20 inches. So the baby’s just a tiny bit heavier and a little bit taller than average, in case you wanted to know. She’s also probably one of the most precious things the world’s ever seen.

May 2, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily

5Jessica Simpson Finally Gave Birth to Maxwell Drew Johnson!

photo of jessica simpson pictures baby photos maxwell drew johnson pic
Yay! Yay for fetuses and yay for Jessica Simpson! And yay for the fact that we don’t have to see Jessica gallumphing around in public wearing discarded muumuus from the set of The Golden Girls any longer!

From Jess’s own website:

Eric and I are elated to announce the birth of our baby girl, Maxwell Drew Johnson, 9 lbs., 13 oz., 21 3/4″

We are so grateful for all of the love, support and prayers we have received.

This has been the greatest experience of our lives!!

HOLY ALMOST-TEN-POUND BABY! Man, that explains so much!

Congratulations to the new family, and Jess, let’s wait a minute before we start working on the second one, OK? Let your body heal and do its thing, because Lord knows it’s been through the wringer! BABY PICTURES, WHEE!

photo of jessica simpson's baby girl maxwell drew johnson pictures

May 1, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

4Jessica Simpson is Still Pregnant, You Guys

photo of jessica simpson pregnant at wedding pictures photos
How is this woman still pregnant? Really, how? I seriously have to know. Because it seems like she announced her pregnancy years ago (it was really only this past November), but yet there’s no new baby yet. I know she hasn’t done anything interesting in awhile anyway, but I just can’t get sick of her. We literally have five-plus full pages worth of Jessica Simpson-pregnancy fodder, and according to reports, she still might have a few more weeks to go ’til she pops that baby out. Goodness.

This is what Jess had to say on Twitter earlier today:

To everyone who keeps congratulating me on the birth of my baby girl…I’m still pregnant!! Don’t believe what you read ladies and gents.

Also, why have we not seen more beautiful fashion courtesy of a maternal Jessica Simpson? I’m kind of disappointed, to be honest. Ever since I heard she might be launching a clothing line for pregnant ladies, I’ve been studying her ensemble choices very closely. You know, just in case I ever happen to get pregnant again and I need a template for exactly what I don’t want to look like for the whole nine (or in Jess’s case, eighty-six) months of my gestation period.

Anyway, pop that kid out as soon as you can, girl, because I’m certain that this little baby is going to be just as cute and adorable as her mom.

April 21, 2012 at 3:00 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

2Wait, Jessica Simpson Is Supposed to Be Pregnant For Another Month?

A photo of Jessica Simpson

Oh my goodness. Another month, seriously? An entire month? Is this absolutely crazy to anyone else? For a reference, that picture above was taken at the beginning of January. She’s apparently due at the end of April. It all sort of makes sense if you think about it: Jessica announced she was pregnant back around Halloween, which, if she’s not due for another month, would mean that she made the announcement after the standard three months. But you guys, how much bigger could she possibly get?

From Us Weekly:

Jessica Simpson is hitting the home stretch of her pregnancy — and the fashionista is making drastic sacrifices indeed to stay relatively comfortable.

“Only one month to go!” the Fashion Star mentor, 31, was overheard telling a fellow shopper at Fred Segal’s in Santa Monica Tuesday, where she and a pal spent the afternoon. “I can’t wear heels anymore,” lamented the star, clad in a black maxi dress and flip flops. “I tried but it was too hard. Wearing heels is like a religion to me, so it’s tough!”

That means that Simpson (engaged to her daughter-to-be’s father, Eric Johnson) will have to amend her child labor plan. Back in November, the style mogul joked to Us Weekly: “I’m probably going to deliver my baby in [4-inch YSL heels]. . .I went to the doctor yesterday and he said, ‘You’re gonna need to get out of those heels!”

During her Wednesday excursion at Fred Segal, the heavily pregnant star was already plotting her post-pregnancy body goal, eyeing a slim pair of Elliot jeans as she blew big bubbles with her gum.

Cheerful if seemingly exhausted, she chugged Fiji water as she shopped — and while she couldn’t buy clothes for herself, she picked up some togs for her little girl at the Ron Robinson store. Simpson snapped up bloomers, shirts from Le Petit Bateau and a polka dot dress.

“It’s like carrying a bowling ball!” Simpson was overheard saying of her belly. “Almost done!”

That whole story just absolutely reeks of Jessica Simpson, doesn’t it? And I absolutely love that. She was, bless her heart, so lovable before she got pregnant, and afterwards? Crazy amounts of adorable. I know we’ve had this conversation before about how big Jessica is, but Evil Beet stands firm: Jessica Simpson is the cutest pregnant lady, forever and ever, the end.

But really, she still has a whole month left?

March 31, 2012 at 9:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson