2Putting It All in Perspective

Notable Amazon.com album rankings from today:

1. Christina Aguilera, Back to Basics [I LOVE YOU XTINA!]
2. Danity Kane, Danity Kane [Yup, that's Diddy's all-girl group from yet another interminable cycle of Making the Band. Today, as the title says, we are putting things in perpective.]
…
7. Dixie Chicks, Taking the Long Way [Didn't that one lead singer chick say something mean about Texas? Or the Pope? It was something like that.]
…
10. Clay Aiken, A Thousand Different Ways [insert multiple-penetration joke here]
…
12. Justin Timberlake, FutureSex/LoveSounds [tell us again about those talentless AmIdol hacks, JT, and do it without using any spaces!]
…
24. Kidz Bop, Vol. 10
…
28. High School Musical [Amazon has Ashley Tisdale listed as the artist, but I refuse to condone that here.]
…
32. Cheetah Girls 2 Original Soundtrack [even better than the first Cheetah Girls soundtrack!]

and at #33:
Paris Hilton, Paris.

To her credit, she’s been climbing this chart all day, but when your album’s stalling out three times as far down as Clay Aiken on pre-order, something didn’t go exactly to plan.

If it makes you feel any better, Paris, Jessica Simpson’s A Public Affair promises to remain comparatively private, hanging out at the #75 position this afternoon.

August 23, 2006 at 9:18 pm by Evil Beet

0Picking up the Pieces

Clips day continues. You know it’s a slow news day when you’ve tracked down a clip of Christina Aguilera on Letterman to use on your blog. But after the Federlesion horror you endured in my last post, Ms. Xtina rocking out should be a welcome treat. I love this girl and I love this song.

The “news” I found on the floor of the gas station bathroom this afternoon:

• Kate Moss, the inarguable Queen of Good Ideas, took it upon herself to plan a wedding to the King of Better Ideas, Pete Doherty. He didn’t show. Johnny Depp pokes his head out from his swimming pool of gazillion dollar bills and critical acclaim to laugh.
• Osama Bin Laden plays his own sick game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. The choices are Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, and novelist Kola Boof. Play amongst yourselves first.
• Jessica Simpson’s new single sucks so hard that she has lowered herself to warring with Kristin Cavalleri at the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah, that’s right, the chick from Laguna Beach. Who Stephen Colletti called a slut. Who is 19 years old. And who probably banged her ex-husband. These are stars that won’t stop rising, kids.

August 22, 2006 at 12:38 am by Evil Beet

1Jessica Simpson’s "Public Affair"

The video premieres tonight on MTV. You’ll be able to see it on MTV Overdrive for the first 24 hours after that — here’s a clip until then.

Update: The “star-studded” video is on Overdrive now (thanks, East Coast!). Hey, remember in 8th grade when you and all your girlfriends ran out of boys to call at your slumber party, so you grabbed your mom’s video camera and your Madonna tape and decided you’d make a music video to go to “Holiday?” So you curl your hair and you put on make-up and your big sister’s cutest clothes and you devise a storyline and everyone has lines and solo dance parts, and your little brother is filming and so his dog has to be in it, too, and you’re all very excited about your music video, but you’re mostly all new to this whole being-in-a-music-video/dancing-on-camera thing — which doesn’t mean you won’t try your hardest — but you’re 28 now and your mom pulled the tape out last week and watching it was so unbelievably awkward? Yeah. It’s kind of like that.

July 19, 2006 at 6:44 pm by Evil Beet