Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jessica Simpson

PETA Drops Their Worst Dressed List

It’s not news that PETA uses some pretty immature tactics to get across their pro-animal/anti-fur message, but I am shocked by some of the statements they made about the stars who topped their Worst Dressed List this year. Basically, all you had to do to be a contender is wear fur or skins and so, as you can imagine, real fashion experts probably wouldn’t put these women on any such list.

PETA talked to Access Hollywood about their rankings and gave statements on each person who made the list. While they aren’t exactly the rudest things I’ve ever read (that would be pretty hard to do), they certainly didn’t sound too professional. Here’s a run down:

On their #1 Worst Dressed, Catherine Zeta-Jones: “With her creepy cow-skin pants, ugly fox coat, and icky alligator bag, Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like she’s working her way through Noah’s ark with a knife. Maybe she’s trying to get into character for an upcoming role as a serial killer — or a taxidermist.”

On Kate Hudson: “Kate, there’s no easier way to lose a guy in 10 days than by wearing a hairball. Maybe your furs are the reason why A-Rod ran for home.”

On Jill Zarin: “This ‘Real Housewife’ lives in the Big Apple, and her furry fashion sense is rotten to the core.”

They also said that Jessica Simpson’s clothing is as dead as her acting career and called out J.Lo for her “corpse coats”. Look, I don’t think that wearing fur is right, but attacking people’s careers and love lives to make a point about their clothing choices? Whack and kind of pointless if you ask me. And I say that as someone who makes a living being a jerk.

Jessica Simpson Is Not as Happy to Be Called “Sexual Napalm” as I Would Be

It’s been an awesome couple of days for Jessica Simpson, who recently had her vagina’s addictiveness flouted in a Playboy article by John Mayer. He called her “sexual napalm.” The exact quote:

“That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them … Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm … There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”

Yesterday, Jessica tweeted:

interesting day so far…hmm…at least i am boxing 2-a-days this week

And then when TMZ asked her if she had a comment (video above), she bitterly laughed it off and said she didn’t.

Ummmmm, okay, look, if some guy gave that interview to Playboy about me, I would be thrilled. I would be beyond delighted. I would get a T-shirt made that said “I AM SEXUAL NAPALM” and then I would wear it everywhere. When people asked me what my name is, I would be all like “Well, Playboy just calls me ‘Sexual Napalm.’ So that’s kind of what I go by these days. Did I mention John Mayer would sell all his shit to keep fucking me? Because, yeah. Dudes want to snort me, that’s how good I am in bed.”

You need to own this, Jessica.

Quotables

“Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*****’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you.’”

- John Mayer tells Playboy about his sexual relationship with ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson.