4No Big Deal, But Joe Simpson Took Out A Secret Life Insurance Policy on Jessica

Psych! It actually is kind of a big deal that Joe Simpson, well-known shademeister, took out a life insurance police on his very, very famous daughter without telling anyone. Probably just because it’s creepy. It’s really creepy, isn’t it? Like, this is how some mystery novels begin. And spoiler alert: those mystery novels never end well.

From Radar:

Joe Simpson secretly took out a $4.5 million life insurance policy in daughter Jessica’s name with himself listed as the sole beneficiary, a source tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

The policy was drafted around 8 years ago, the source says, and The Dukes Of Hazzard star and her mom Tina only found out about its existence last week.

Tina’s attorneys at Dunnam & Dunnam were made aware of the policy’s existence in a meeting with the Simpsons’ business manager, David Levin, and the source says that both Jessica and Tina are “furious” that Joe had done such a thing without the knowledge of either of them.

“Tina found out about yet another one of Joe’s secrets and couldn’t believe what she was hearing,” the source, who is close to the Simpson family, tells RadarOnline.com.

“It came out in a meeting with David and her attorneys last week that Joe set up a life insurance policy for Jessica 8 years ago that made him the sole beneficiary.

“It was pointed out to Tina that as Jessica’s manager Joe wasn’t doing anything underhanded by taking out a policy to protect his biggest income source, but she was absolutely furious that Joe did it without consulting her or Jessica.

“Joe’s actions have put a massive strain on the family, and it’s only getting worse. It’s hard to see that Tina and Joe will ever be amicable with each other again and the divorce case is shaping up to be very messy,” the source says.

Maybe I’m just wondering this because we just talked about Britney Spears, but is it even possible to be the parent of an extremely famous, successful daughter and not turn into a total creep? Or is the parent a creep to begin with, and the daughter’s fame just allows more opportunities for poor choices? Either way, can everyone please just stop?

December 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

2So I Guess Jessica Simpson Is Going to Get A Husband for Christmas

From Radar:

Are Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnsonplanning a secret wedding?

RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that the couple is heading to Hawaii on December 21st, and they’ve invited a group of close friends and family along for the trip.

Better still, Jessica, 32, and Eric, 33, have said they plan on making a big announcement to everyone there, but it can’t be about her surprisingly second pregnancy because that cat is already out of the bag!

“For the holidays Jessica and Eric are going to Hawaii and they’ve invited a lot of their close friends and family,” a source close to the Simpson family tells RadarOnline.com.

“No one quite knows what is being planned, but family members are speculating that they could be planning a surprise wedding.

“Jessica and Eric had planned to get married before the end of the year, but because Jessica was helping her best pal Cacee with her wedding she got sidetracked. Then, her father’s problems shattered her world and she discovered she was expecting.

“Jessica is certain though that she wants to get married before her baby is born, and isn’t bothered if she’s showing in any wedding pictures.

“She just wants a relaxed and intimate ceremony and has been dropping hints that the big day could be right before Christmas,” the source divulges.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Jessica has made it clear that she wants to walk down the aisle before her second baby is born.

“Jessica wanted to get married before Christmas and was thinking of a date in December,” a source close to the Simpson family previously told RadarOnline.com. “But then Cacee set a date with Donald (Faison) for December, her father was caught up in the gay scandal and then she found out she was pregnant. Her plans were derailed and the wedding became a secondary detail with everything that was going on in her life. However, she still wants to get married soon and is seriously considering marrying Eric before her baby is due.”

Aww, wouldn’t this be so great? I think this would just be so great. I mean, there’s that whole thing where Jessica’s dude is kind of a lazy bones and won’t get a job, but that’s cool, right? That’ll all work out. And then there’s also that whole thing where Jessica’s dad has apparently been having an affair with some male model for a while and it broke up his marriage with Jessica’s mother. That’s probably going to be awkward to deal with, huh? But I heard that she’s so over her dad right now, so I guess he just won’t show up at all and nobody will talk about it. But other than all that, this sounds wonderful!

December 14, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily

3Weight Watchers is Real, Real Mad at Jessica Simpson

So you know how Jessica Simpson’s working on gestating her second fetus? Because that’s definitely a thing, and Weight Watchers is pretty pissed off about it, of course. In a recent edition of Us Weekly, sources are claiming that Jess, as the new celebrity spokeswoman for Weight Watchers, has provoked the wrath of WW executives, and WW is considering redacting the entire deal, citing reasons like how Jessica didn’t lose the “right” amount of weight in the “right” amount of time anyway, and really, who wants to endorse a lady who’s counting calories and points for days when she’s pregnant?

In other Jessica news, girlfriend’s posting some pretty cryptic Tweets, not actually confirming her pregnancy, but not completely negating the rumors, either. From Jess’s Twitter:

Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason

So yeah. Weight Watchers is pissed, Twitter is still a viable news source, and Eric Johnson’s penis magically fell into place and got Jess pregnant all over again. What more could you ask for?

December 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

9JESSICA SIMPSON IS PREGNANT! AGAIN!

From Us:

Christmas is still nearly four weeks away, but Jessica Simpson got her biggest — and totally unexpected! — present early: Another baby on the way! Seven months after giving birth to daughter Maxwell Drew Johnson, the star is once again expecting, the new issue of Us Weekly exclusively confirms.

“It definitely wasn’t planned. But yes, Jessica is pregnant again,” a source reveals to Us. The surprise baby-to-be is the second for the singer and Fashion Star mentor, 32, and fiance Eric Johnson. (A rep for Simpson had no comment.)

Engaged for the past two years, Simpson and former NFL pro Johnson, 33, welcomed Maxwell — a whopping 9 pound, 13 ounce bundle of joy! — on May 1 of this year.

And while Simpson felt energized about her admirable 70-pound slimdown post-baby, her greatest inspiration is being a mom. “Motherhood is a dream,” she told Katie Couric back in September. “It really is absolutely amazing.”

Wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to her 5.7 million Twitter followers Nov. 22, she gushed: “I am so grateful for my new lil family!”

Notes the source of pregnancy number two: “She really is overjoyed!”

Well hell. That was fast. I mean, if it’s true, of course. It’s not Tori Spelling-fast, but it’s still fast nevertheless. Is it really happening? Well, it’ll remain to be seen for at least another few months. You remember how it was last time around, when Jess waited, like, six months to even announce that all of the rumors were true.

Congratulations, new lil family!

November 28, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah

3Well Hey There, Jessica Simpson

Hm. Halloween, huh? And Jessica Simpson? I mean, nothing’s going to top last year’s mummy costume, but this? Well. I’d have to go ahead and say that yes, this is a pretty good start.

What do you guys think of Jess (and OK, fine, her family, too) and this year’s Halloween getup?

October 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

9Holy Crap, Jessica Simpson Looks Way Hot

Because my goodness, does she ever.

Jess was recently interviewed by iVillage, where she discussed what she’s made a multi-million-dollar empire out of (not singing): fashion. And she had this surprising thing to say about her source of said fashion:

“My style icon really for my whole life has been my mother. The way she can put together and outfit and just color and even print mixing. I mean she’s just so creative and has always looked flawless to me. That’s why she runs (my clothing range) the Jessica Simpson collection. I trust her with every single garment.”

Which is totally, totally cute. I mean, do you know many women who say that their mother is their style icon? See, my mother was pretty stylish back in the eighties and early nineties, but lately she’s been more of an inspiration to me than ever. Why, you ask? Well because she helped usher the yoga pants-and-long-sleeved-t-shirt movement that I’m so into these days. It’s easy, it’s comfortable, it’s not as sloppy as baggy-assed sweats and holey t-shirts (which I still totally love), and above all, did I say it’s comfortable? Because as far as fashion goes, that’s what I’m all about: comfortable effortlessness.

Anyway, enough about me and my schleppy manner of dress—this is what Jess has to say about her own personal style:

“I would say that I’m pretty casual. I don’t ever wanna come across too intimidating, so as long as I look like you can come up and give me a hug, that’s good. My signature look has always been really classic and comfortable jeans and T-shirt.”

Jeans, t-shirt, whatever, girl. You look positively gorgeous and I hope you know it. Eat your heart out, Jennifer Hudson. Or don’t, since you clearly have issues with that word.

October 22, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah