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Jessica Simpson

30WTF Is Wrong with Jessica Simpson’s Mouth???

I wrote earlier today about the outfit Jess wore to her David Letterman appearance — a lot of you loved it, but I still think it’s kind of ridic.

Now that we actually have footage of Jessica on the show — talking about Tony Romo and John Mayer (“He gave away my game!!), among other things — I have a very important question: Why can’t she talk like a normal human being??? Doesn’t it seem like she’s holding her mouth a little tight? It doesn’t look like she recently got Botox or anything, but there’s definitely something odd going on.

That said, it’s a pretty adorable interview, and I like her a lot more after watching it.

Lastly: How fucking amazing is the quality on YouTube these days??? This is a damn sharp video. Pretty soon I’ll be able to sit in bed all day and my entire life will just play out over the Internet. Oh, wait. That already happened.

March 11, 2010 at 1:06 pm by Evil Beet

19Jessica Simpson Is a Pink Peacock Today!

Yay! Pink peacock! When I play dress-up sometimes I like to pretend I’m a white rhinoceros.*

Jessica chose a truly fascinating dress pattern to display as she left her taping of David Letterman’s show.

The photo agency has labeled this set of pictures “Curvy Jessica waves at Letterman.”


*That may be the first time in my life I’ve typed out the word “rhinoceros.” Who would have thought it was spelled with an ‘o’ at the end???**

**Yeah, seriously, there is no real follow-up joke to the white rhinoceros comment. The spelling thing was it. I’ve got nothing additional.***

***Okay okay okay. “On those days, I put on my Jessica Simpson costume.”

March 11, 2010 at 7:48 am by Evil Beet


“I’m not angry, I’m not angry. I’m — well, I’m a little bit angry … I’m a little bit angry. Um — well, I don’t want people to know how I am in bed. I guess it could have been a lot worse.”

- Jessica Simpson, totally pussying out when talking to Oprah about her ex John Mayer blabbing to Playboy about their sex life.

Be mad or don’t be mad at all, Jessica!

March 2, 2010 at 11:40 am by Molls
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson, Oprah

8Previews for Jessica Simpson’s New Show

Jessica Simpson has a new show coming to VH1 called The Price of Beauty and I will most definitely be watching it. Why? I love Jessica Simpson because she’s quirky and adorable and I’ll watch anything she does. Also, it looks like it might be good for women or something.

The show has an interesting concept, especially for something put out by VH1. Jessica travels around to different countries to find out what their idea of beauty is. In this preview, we see Jessica visit a “fat hut”, where one woman has been living for months getting as fat as possible for her husband. She also visits Paris, the fashion capitol of the world, and tries her hand at runway modeling. Clearly they did their best to cover all ends of the spectrum.

Do I think this show will be particularly educational? Probably not. But it seems better than Taradise.

February 25, 2010 at 1:34 pm by Molls
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson


“He didn’t make me go brunette! John doesn’t get credit for making me brunette. He’d like to think so, but he doesn’t deserve the credit.”

-Jessica Simpson attempts to tell Allure that John Mayer didn’t make dye her hair when they were dating, but I’m not so sure I believe that.

February 16, 2010 at 11:17 am by Molls

16PETA Drops Their Worst Dressed List

It’s not news that PETA uses some pretty immature tactics to get across their pro-animal/anti-fur message, but I am shocked by some of the statements they made about the stars who topped their Worst Dressed List this year. Basically, all you had to do to be a contender is wear fur or skins and so, as you can imagine, real fashion experts probably wouldn’t put these women on any such list.

PETA talked to Access Hollywood about their rankings and gave statements on each person who made the list. While they aren’t exactly the rudest things I’ve ever read (that would be pretty hard to do), they certainly didn’t sound too professional. Here’s a run down:

On their #1 Worst Dressed, Catherine Zeta-Jones: “With her creepy cow-skin pants, ugly fox coat, and icky alligator bag, Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like she’s working her way through Noah’s ark with a knife. Maybe she’s trying to get into character for an upcoming role as a serial killer — or a taxidermist.”

On Kate Hudson: “Kate, there’s no easier way to lose a guy in 10 days than by wearing a hairball. Maybe your furs are the reason why A-Rod ran for home.”

On Jill Zarin: “This ‘Real Housewife’ lives in the Big Apple, and her furry fashion sense is rotten to the core.”

They also said that Jessica Simpson’s clothing is as dead as her acting career and called out J.Lo for her “corpse coats”. Look, I don’t think that wearing fur is right, but attacking people’s careers and love lives to make a point about their clothing choices? Whack and kind of pointless if you ask me. And I say that as someone who makes a living being a jerk.

February 14, 2010 at 5:32 pm by Molls