Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jessica Alba

Justin Timberlake’s Movie Career Marches Forward

Justin Timberlake to Star in the Love Guru Opposite Mike Myers and Jessica Alba

After two relatively ill-received attempts at live acting in film (Alpha Dog and Black Snake Moan), Justin Timberlake is hoping the third time’s the charm, and has signed on to play opposite Mike Myers in the upcoming The Love Guru.

Storyline revolves around an American (Myers) raised by gurus on an Ashram in India. Returning to the U.S. to make a fortune in the self-help biz, his unorthodox methods are put to the test when he provides marriage counseling to a hockey star. The wife of the hockey star retaliates by starting to date a rival player (Timberlake).

The movie also stars Jessica Alba, so I really think this has potential in the gossip world.

Alba’s been spotted recently with her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Cash Warren, but it’s obvious the two are on shaky ground. Relationships with Jessica Biel have a four-to-six-month shelf live, so you know that’s going to be winding down soon. I smell hot co-star sex.

Jessica Alba is SINGLE!

Jessica Alba Dumps Boyfriend Cash Warren

Jessica Alba is back on the market and ready to be slutty!

The Fantastic Four star has dumped her longtime boyfriend, Cash Warren, reportedly telling him on the phone, “I’m not in love with you anymore.”

A source close to Cash says that it “happened…almost out of nowhere. [Cash] thinks it’s for another guy but doesn’t know….he’s totally devastated. But it was all her.”

Alba, as you may recall, made headlines back in June for professing a laid-back attitude about sex: “I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more,” she said, “so they don’t feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have.”

I think I speak for all the men in America when I say: Bring it on, Jess!

I wonder who she’ll end up dating. I think I’d love it if she stole Justin Timberlake away from Jessica Biel. My money’s on that.

Alba Wants to Hit it and Quit it!

albalovesthesexybusiness.jpg

There are times when it’s good to be a man living in the 21st century. This is one of those times as it was just announced that:

    Alba wants no-strings sex

Now look here. Jess Alba can’t act her way out of a paper bag. I’m sure she’s nice enough and would probably be really pleasant to your pops as he leered at her all the way through dinner. But let’s face the cold hard facts – you marry Alba for one thing. To carry her hotness to future generations, and that’s it. She’s not going to win you a Pulitzer. She’s not go to build a better rocket ship. She’s not going to evoke tears as the Oscar audience gasps in delight at her acceptance speech. Which is why today’s news is all the more wonderful, you can now leave the duty of “dating, marriage, commitment, having to call back” to some other poor shmoe!

She told Cosmopolitan magazine: “I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex.

I agree with her here, and I would hope that women enjoy sex. It’s sort of a nice thing if the person you’re with isn’t thinking “man, this is so NOT enjoyable.”

“I could have a one-night stand, and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, ‘Do you really have to be here?’ I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more.”

No, Ms. Alba I do not have to be here. I’d be pleased to gather my belongings and hit the road. If I’m lucky I can call everyone I know before they’re asleep. Also, I have a specific “cuddling” girlfriend whom I don’t ever talk to or screw. We just hold each other. It’s quite nice actually, y’all should try that.

Check out some more! Read More

Can We Just Talk About How Much Bullshit It Is That Jaslene Has to Share Her Seventeen Cover with Jessica Alba?

Jaslene Gonzalez Has to Share Seventeen Cover with Jessica Alba

Yes, I think we can.

Because it is bullshit, people.

Listen up, Seventeen, I don’t know who’s heading up your Atoosa-less ship these days, but if you’re gonna get all that publicity off of ANTM, you sure as hell better be ready to step up and give its winner her own cover. Especially when it’s my beloved Jaslene Gonzalez.

Seventeen did two covers for their July issue — a “bonus,” as they claim — but the one they’re promoting is the one with Jessica Alba on it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Jessica Alba just fine, but I think that if Jaslene was promised the cover of Seventeen magazine, she should get that cover, and not one-half of it (and one-tenth the promotion) just because someone at Hearst is taking heat for newsstand numbers.

Anyway, Jessica Alba’s been traipsing around NYC promoting her new Fantastic Four film and her cover, so where are the pics of my Jaslene??? You can check out some of the shots from her Seventeen cover shoot here.

Jessica Alba Signs Seventeen Magazine Cover Jessica Alba Signs Seventeen Magazine Cover in New York

Late-Night Links

After hubby Becks signed with the L.A. Galaxy last week, Victoria Beckham arrives in Los Angeles to do whatever it is that Victoria Beckham does. [DListed]

Well, the sooner Denise Richards marries Richie Sambora, the sooner she can leave him for her best friend’s husband. No, I’m kidding, that would never happen. Denise Richards doesn’t have friends. [A Socialite's Life]

It’s about time we started rumors that Jessica Alba’s engaged. [The Blemish]

Britney Spears takes Sean Preston to the park, pretends to interact with him. I’m not sure if she’s more neglectful toward her child or her hair extensions. It’s a tough call lately. [Celebrity Smack]

Lauren Graham (aka Lorelei Gilmore) is reportedly a diva on the set. [Celeb Warship]

Is it possible all Saturday Night Live really needed was YouTube? Following the smash Internet success of “Dick in a Box,” the ailing SNL is back in the blogosphere with Jack Gyllenhaal’s brilliant rendition of Dreamgirls‘ “You’re Gonna Love Me.” [popbytes]

Lindsay Lohan looks stunning in her new Miu Miu ads. Also: she doesn’t look anything at all like Lindsay Lohan. [Dirty Laundry]

Agent Provocateur releases the third film in their series, “Kate Moss in Underwear Saying Nonsensical Yet Remarkably Underwear-Selling Things.” [Agent Bedhead]

Ah, the changing of the celebrity gossip guard. Molly Goodson is movin’ on up to PopSugar, but be sure to swing by Mollygood to heckle the new guy. [Mollygood, PopSugar]