Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jesse James

Kat Von D Confirms That She’s Banging Jesse James

And she went through Twitter to profess her excitement over the new relationship. And then had second thoughts — about the tweet; shame on you. Who’d have second thoughts about dating Jesse James? — so she removed the tweet.

OK then.

That’s the oldest trick in the book, girl. You’re slinging Jesse’s anti-semitic pork tenderloin around. Own it. Love it. Wrap it up, for fuck’s sake.

Enjoy!

Jesse James is Dating Again

Well, it’s apparent that if you’re a ‘tough girl,’ are into body art, and like stars on your face, you have a shot with Jesse James. ‘Cause evidently, Jesse was spotted out with a new girlfriend this past weekend and it was none other than Kat Von D, queen of tattoos and punk rawkness, just like Dita Von Teese is queen of porcelain skin and burlesque.

Awesome. … For Jesse.

I know that, you know, everyone deserves love in some way, shape, or form, but what the hell is a self-respecting woman doing, crawling into Jesse James’ bed before the stank of Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee has even been cleansed from his penis? Does that shit ever even come off? I just threw up in my mouth. For real.

In all reality, the two were photographed having dinner together somewhere in Las Vegas. If Kat has any concept of sexual health — or scruples to not get involved with a man who cheats and cheats and cheats — then it was purely business. And that was the direction I was leaning towards.

But yet. But yet. The two were said to have exited the restaurant later in the night holding hands. And that shot my hopeful theory all to hell. I know that sometimes people hold hands because they’re friends, it’s your mom, because it’s chic, and because Americans like to be like Europeans with their trendy traditions, but Jesse James? He knows as much about class and polish as he does about marriage vows.

Well, That Was Quick

Sandy and Jesse's Divorce is Official

Just as quickly as their marriage fell apart in front of our eyes, Jesse James and Sandra Bullock are officially divorced. That seems ridiculously quick. Normally divorces seem to drag on for years, but it’s only been a few months since Sandy announced that she would be leaving Jesse as a result of his infidelity.

The divorce paperwork cited “has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities,” as the reason for the demise of their marriage. I feel like that’s putting Jesse’s behavior lightly. I wonder if Sandra purposefully went easy on her ex-husband in order to speed up the process and wash her hands of it.

Either way, I’m sure this past week has been one of the worst of Jesse’s life. Good.