Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jesse James

Kat Von D and Jesse James Are Finished, For Real This Time

Photo: A happier Kat Von D on September 8, 2011.

Did you even know Kat Von D and Jesse James were together again? No? Well, they were. And now they’re not.

And if you thought they were, in fact, still a couple, Miss Von D understands your confusion. She clarified the whole romantic jumble to her fans on Facebook last night:

I am not in a relationship. And I apologize for all the ‘back and forth’ if it’s caused any confusion.

This is the second time the inked couple has broken their engagement, and only in a matter of months.

Honestly? I sincerely don’t want to be too mean about this, because I am starting to feel for the lady, but everything Von D types no longer passes the Bechdel Test.

Thank Goodness: Kat Von D and Jesse James Are Back On!

A photo of Kat Von D and Jesse James

After a whirlwind courtship, a public breakup, a handful of rumors of infidelity, and a major drop in relevance, those two lovebirds, Kat Von D and Jesse James, have found their way back to each other’s arms. Praise God and pass the ammunition! Wait, on second thought, no, don’t do that, let’s not involve firearms. Let’s just clap politely.

Here’s what Jesse has to say about the couple’s reconciliation:

“Sometimes you are only given one chance in life,” he says. “It was up to me to open my eyes and see it. That girl is my chance. I will never stop fighting and striving to hold on to her. Showing her how special she is, and how much I love her.”

And that would be so sweet, it really would, except for all that stuff about Hitler and Sandra Bullock. But hey, we can rejoice in the fact that these two found love in one another, right?

Quotables: Kat Von D Makes Me Saddish

photo of jesse james and kat von d pictures photos

“He had a rough childhood, so to see what he’s become from there, it’s amazing. That’s why I wanted the picture of him as a child, to capture that certain innocence. It was good having him beside me while we finished. The tattoo is a way of him recognizing somebody loves him.”

Kat Von D, on the topic of her most recent tattoo – a rendering of her ex-boyfriend’s face as a child. I mean, I’m not going to touch the “[amazing] to see what he’s become from there part,” because I don’t want to turn this post into a rude one out of respect for someone who’s apparently hurting over something that someone did (even though it’s not, you know, entirely surprising, based on the history there), but it’s sad to see that Von D is so publicly grieving her relationship with Jesse. Her pain, though incomprehensible, is evidently real, and that just further reinforces my idea of Jesse James as a total toolkitting, douche-nozzling waste of skin and teeth.