Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jersey Shore

The Great Jersey Shore Rumble of 2012

A photo of the cast of Jersey Shore

Last night, the cast of Jersey Shore got into a major bar fight. Snooki wasn’t there, thank goodness, and Deena, Vinny, and Sam didn’t join in, but the rest of them? They threw down. They threw down hard.

From Us Weekly:

A source tells Us Weekly several members of the MTV cast — including Jenni “JWoww” Farley and her boyfriend Rodger Mathews, Pauly “Pauly D” Delvecchio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino — were involved in a “massive” bar brawl Friday night at Seaside Heights hotspot Bamboo Bar.

“It started as a small fight, then turned into a massive brawl,” the insider shares. “Jenni’s boyfriend beat up a few guys, Pauly knocked some guy out, [and] Ronnie [and] Sitch were all there as well, fighting off guys. Jenni sprained her ankle. It was rough.”

Explains the source, “These drunk guys saw the cameras and started taunting the girls. Then, they started bothering Ronnie, Vinny, The Sitch, and Pauly.”

Though the boys tried to ignore the instigators, “They came back and got in their faces,” the insider reveals. “Rodger and Ryan [Labbe, from MTV's The Pauly D Project] stepped up and all hell broke loose.”

At that point, “It became a club-wide brawl . . . Ronnie, Sitch, Ryan, Rodger and Pauly were fighting five guys, and bouncers too . . . Jenni was fighting with the guys.”

As for Vinny Guadagnino? “He was [hanging] with the girls,” the source says. “He’s a lover, not a fighter.”

And just in case you need more proof, here’s a picture from today of JWoww on crutches:

A photo of Jenni "JWoww" Farley

I definitely believe that this story is true. I mean, the fight is obviously true, but I totally buy that it started because some douchebags saw the cameras and wanted a few minutes of fame. A similar thing happened when they were in Italy – they had to leave a bar because so many people were yelling at them and taunting them – and besides, the guys have already talked to a lawyer. They’re planning on suing the Jersey Shore guys, the bar, Viacom, and MTV. Apparently what happened in their version is that Ronnie punched a guy for absolutely no reason, then a bouncer put the guy in a headlock so Ronnie could punch him some more. Then I guess JWoww fell down some stairs or whatever. Yeah, sounds totally plausible.

It looks like this next season is going to be interesting after all, huh?

Ronnie from Jersey Shore Released A Single

Since it’s Friday night, I figured I’d take a moment to share with you a lovely song from Ronnie, the biggest gorilla in the Jersey Shore crew. Some of you might be preparing to do a little partying*, in which case you should definitely listen to the song. It’s charmingly titled “How The F%#k We Gettin’ Home?!” and it teaches the valuable lesson that sometimes you’re not able to drive and sometimes you need to ask someone nicely to take your keys away from you. That’s a good message, isn’t it? Maybe those crazy kids can contribute something to society after all!

*Speaking of partying, tomorrow is my birthday! I don’t expect any emails or anything (I don’t expect them, but they’d be nice [ahem]), but if you want to leave a comment here, that would be super sweet, and also great for my self esteem and general well-being. Meanwhile, I’m going to go watch Hunger Games** for the third time.

**Speaking of Hunger Games, here’s a cute story. The other morning, my boyfriend was still half asleep, or probably mostly asleep, and he mumbled something. I couldn’t understand him, so I asked him what he said. He lifted his head up just a little bit, and he said “I volunteer.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but he just kept repeating “I volunteer.” Finally I was just like “what do you even mean?” He said “I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!” And that is why I love him.

Oh No, People Are Vandalizing The Jersey Shore House!

A photo of the cast of Jersey Shore

From TMZ:

As if having 9 booze-filled, fight-prone tenants wasn’t punishment enough … TMZ has learned the beach pad featured on “Jersey Shore” is now being violated on the outside … by vandals.

The realtor for the infamous house in Seaside Heights tell us … hoards of people keep tagging the outside walls (above) with their names and random comments like, “We love you Snooki.”

We’re told the damage is so profuse … the realtor is forced to repaint  the guido-smush den on a WEEKLY basis.

Not only that … people are stealing roof shingles and constantly caught messing with the front door when the house is vacant.

In light of the problems … we’re told security has been beefed up and local cops are on the look-out for nefarious fans.

The good news … it’s only the realtor’s problem when the show is NOT in production … otherwise the clean-up nightmare is in the hands of “Shore” producers.

As if they don’t have enough to deal with.

TMZ even got a picture of the vandalized house:

I was going to do a whole “poor house” thing, but really, I’m surprised that it’s taken this long for this kind of story to come out. Isn’t that weird, how the fact that Snooki, The Situation, and the rest of those lovable scamps are insanely famous isn’t really part of the show? I would have expected creepers by the truckload after the first season. I would have thought that we’d see girls with self esteem problems coming by the house at all hours of the day and night and dudes coming on over to bro it up, but not so much, right? I know it’s alluded to sometimes, but I think it’d be interesting if we got to see that aspect of everything.

Like, can you imagine little Snooki trying to run off some teenage hoodlums with spray paint and bad attitudes? I would love that scene. Or some awkward, unaware 15-year-old hitting on J-Woww at the boardwalk? That would be such amazing television, wouldn’t it?

Sadly, I think this time around MTV will have their hands full, what with a pregnant Snooki and a sober The Situation. Maybe season seven, you guys!