When Jenny McCarthy isn’t staging interventions and crusading against immunizations for children, she’s… modeling for a hamburger chain. That’s right, Carl’s Jr. has secured the in-demand star (LOL) as the face of some of their new shitty salads. Lord almighty.
Here’s what Jenny had to say about the lucrative and not at all hilarious deal (from US Weekly):
“I’m excited to be the new Carl’s Jr. salad babe. I’m loving all the ingredients in their new salad,” McCarthy tells Us. “Each bite is scrumptious and a little nutty. Reminds me of a few exes I’ve dated.”
LOL a little nutty! Get it?! Shut up.
In any case, apparently this isn’t even a new thing. This was an actual aspiration for Jenny – she’s been TURNED DOWN by Carl’s Jr once before! HAHAHA! Proof:
Oh man. Dark days, people. I’ve only ever eaten at Carl’s Jr once. We don’t get them on the East Coast (and certainly not over in the UK), but I was in San Francisco a couple of years ago and I hadn’t eaten anything but a granola bar since the day before and it was 11pm, so I picked up a cheeseburger on the way to the hotel I was staying out before passing out asleep. I woke up 2 hours later and threw it up. Happy eating!
Ke$ha showed us her butt on the red carpet at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards so it seemed unlikely that anyone could top that awful WTF-ery, and yet, it was managed. Who did it? Click to find out. But first (pun intended), Jennifer Morrison’s butt:
BEST: Hayden Panettiere and Emmy Rossum.
WORST: Click to find out.
WTF: Just, so very many.
I’ve known Jenny McCarthy is bonkers since she started telling parents not to vaccinate their kids a few years back, but last night she took shit to a whole new level of bonkers as she took to Twitter to claim that police had swarmed Amanda Bynes‘ apartment in New York – news that she got from a “publicist” who’s apparently really a realtor (?) and a story that literally no one else confirmed and/or reported. This came just a few hours after Amanda took her hiker a few more notches up Crazy Mountain and posted two new selfies sans bra (nips covered, natch).
Here’s how it went down on Jenny’s Twitter:
She’ll probably remove all that shit later, but you know I ‘ve got screencaps on my desktop, girl.
Anyway, this story literally makes zero sense. First of all, what does any of this have to do with Jenny McCarthy? Second of all, why in the hell would this publicist/realtor or whoever the hell he is have this “info” that not even TMZ has confirmed (and they are on top of their shit)? Third of all, just why? Why?
So, were the police at Amanda’s place last night? Probably not. And if they were, it was probably a prank or some asshole “PR” person phoning them because they “want to help” (ie spread bullshit stories like this).
UPDATE!! Amanda has responded to Jenny on Twitter in one of the most hilarious mini-rants ever:
UPDATE UPDATE!: Somehow, Amanda and Jenny have made up?
Oh, dear. I love that Amanda’s always calling people “ugly” and that she called Jenny an old lady! God, this girl needs help (but I sorta love it). Anyway, for getting to the end of this post, here’s a treat: Read More
I found myself holding a tree to brace myself. The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping!
—Jenny McCarthy on what it was like one time when she did Ecstasy and found herself lost (?) in a forest (?).
You know, all snark aside, I think Jenny McCarthy might be one of the most obnoxious celebrities we talk about here at Evil Beet Gossip. Seriously. I know some of you guys might completely disagree, and say that someone like Snooki or Kim Kardashian (or even Courtney Stodden) is the most obnoxious celebrity on EB, but I have defenses for them, guys. Snooki has maybe learned her lesson, and despite the fact that she’s on a probation of sorts when it comes to being a real person, she’s making it. Kim Kardashian? Well. We all know just how trashy Kim-girl is, but you’d never catch her admitting (out loud … publicly … ) that she was used as a urinal for Brandy’s younger brother. No, Kim’s way too good at pretending to be classy to outright admit what a piece of garbage she really is. As for Courtney Stodden, guys, she’s an eighteen-year-old girl. She’s still practically a kid. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt here and hope that she’s laughing at her eighteen-year-old self thirty years from now, all the wiser.
No, Jenny McCarthy is, like, the worst of all three of these chicks combined, and you want to know how? Because she’s like the version of Courtney Stodden that we all wish never happens—the one that grows up to be … well, just the way Courtney Stodden is now.
How do *you* feel about Jenny, and who do you think is the most obnoxious celebrity on the site?
Remember how Jenny McCarthy said the other day that her newest Playboy photo spread was so classy that it could actually be featured in W magazine? LOL ON THAT! Oh my God, has she ever even picked up a copy of W? I found the pictures, and let me tell you—they are far, far, far from classy. I’d go as far as to say that they’re treading profusely in deep “seedy” waters, and classy isn’t even in the same pool.
Jump in to check out Jenny’s NSFW “classy” nudie shoot. And then stick in your skankbank and forget it ever happened, OK?
Update: One of our lovely commenters was genteel enough to point out that this actually *isn’t* Jenny McCarthy’s latest Playboy shoot, but an older one. My bad! The commenter goes by Idiot Please and has a history of posting nasty things under various names, but what Idiot Please doesn’t realize is that I CAN SEE YOUR IP ADDRESS. You’re not fooling anyone.
Here’s a censored-ish photo from Jenny’s shoot that should tide you over ’til we get the right ones.
And in the meantime? There ARE still nudes after the jump. Jesus, some people are just so damn hard to please.
“I think he can find a lot worse available on the Internet these days. I think people make such a big deal sometimes about it, when I feel like it just comes down to how you raise your child and how you explain things to your kid. … Evan and I will have that conversation someday.”
The ever-eloquent Jenny McCarthy, discussing what her son probably thinks of her Playboy shoots. Isn’t she just the most, friends? I think she’ll have a leg to stand on when talking about the first shoot done back in the nineties, because she was kind of relevant back in The Day, but this second one? The one she just up and decided to do in celebration for her fortieth birthday? Well. It just screams “Desperation!” and “I have no friends to take me out for a birthday dinner so tits!” and frankly, I think that’s going to freak her son out just a little bit when he’s old enough to know better.
Don’t get me wrong, guys. I’m not one of those people who think that their parents didn’t have sex (or worse, still don’t have sex), but this is just odd. Putting myself in the place of a kid whose mother posed in various stages of NUDIE MAG, I think I’d have to go ahead and say, “Aww, Ma. Ugh! Come on now! What were you thinking?” to which the answer would probably be MONIES, to which I would shake my head and furrow my eyebrows, wondering where I’d gone wrong.
… And Ma, if you’re reading this, there’re no nude pictorials from lad magazines featuring you and floating around anywhere out there, are there? Are there?
Jenny McCarthy, if you didn’t know, is turning 40 this month! Can you believe the “Hot Chick” from ‘Singled Out’ is going to be 40? If you can, that means you’re getting old, too. If you can’t, then I can tell you one thing, guy—you’re deluding yourself and it’s really not pretty.
See, I don’t know. I “get” that she’s trying to commemorate her first Playboy photo shoot from back in 1993 when she was just twenty-one, but I’m sorry. Hearing her stupid sexting-the-dentist stories are way, way better than this spread could ever be. Sometimes it’s just time to pack it in, you know? And it’s not even an age thing—it’s that Jenny McCarthy worked hard to build her “serious” repertoire, and now she wants to go and move backwards by doing Playboy when Playboy‘s not even, like, cool* anymore.
About the spread, Jenny says that she’s “really proud” of it:
“I’m really proud of it. The pictures are really gorgeous and classy. They could be out of W magazine. They’re really elegant. It’s probably a lot more sophisticated than a lot of the stuff you’d see of people with their clothes on. The one thing I like about Playboy is they don’t have the anorexic look. The women are voluptuous. So I didn’t really want to diet. I just wanted to tone up.”
OK, sure, Jenny. You got it.
What do you guys think of Jenny’s Playboy cover?
*I’m sorry, you’ve got me here. Was Playboy ever cool?