Jenny McCarthy, if you didn’t know, is turning 40 this month! Can you believe the “Hot Chick” from ‘Singled Out’ is going to be 40? If you can, that means you’re getting old, too. If you can’t, then I can tell you one thing, guy—you’re deluding yourself and it’s really not pretty.
See, I don’t know. I “get” that she’s trying to commemorate her first Playboy photo shoot from back in 1993 when she was just twenty-one, but I’m sorry. Hearing her stupid sexting-the-dentist stories are way, way better than this spread could ever be. Sometimes it’s just time to pack it in, you know? And it’s not even an age thing—it’s that Jenny McCarthy worked hard to build her “serious” repertoire, and now she wants to go and move backwards by doing Playboy when Playboy‘s not even, like, cool* anymore.
About the spread, Jenny says that she’s “really proud” of it:
“I’m really proud of it. The pictures are really gorgeous and classy. They could be out of W magazine. They’re really elegant. It’s probably a lot more sophisticated than a lot of the stuff you’d see of people with their clothes on. The one thing I like about Playboy is they don’t have the anorexic look. The women are voluptuous. So I didn’t really want to diet. I just wanted to tone up.”
OK, sure, Jenny. You got it.
What do you guys think of Jenny’s Playboy cover?
*I’m sorry, you’ve got me here. Was Playboy ever cool?
June 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
“It’s horrific to remember. [My son] Evan woke up and said, ‘There’s this weird thing on my gum.’ …So I called the dentist and said, ‘This is insane’. He said, ‘Take a picture of it and send it to me.’ So I’m taking a picture of it and I’m sending it to the dentist and I sent him a nude on accident (sic)! I swear to God! The dentist is, like, 80 years old. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs.”
Jenny McCarthy on (not sic!) accidentally sending her dentist a nude photo.
Look, if you guys have been around here for awhile, you’ll know that I don’t exactly think the world of Jenny McCarthy. Truth be told, I think she’s kind of an idiot. Call it irrational, call it whatever you want, but I think the lady’s two crayons short of an eight-crayon box (and two crayons out of eight is, what, a whole twenty-five percent of the box?). Also, I think she’s pretty self-centered, and greedy to boot.
All that being said, this is funny as hell. Probably the funniest thing she’s ever really done or said, actually, so props to you, Jenny McCarthy. Now get the hell off my radar, OK?
June 15, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
“I don’t care if they have a big nose. I don’t care if they’re bald. [I just want someone who's] really sweet and who’s a perfect reflection of who I am now.”
No, I’m kidding; she doesn’t want Jim Carrey back (and he doesn’t have a big nose, duh – that should have been your first indicator). She’s actually just a vapid sort of twat who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who’s more famous than her. See?:
“The first thing is, when it’s not fun any more, you need to start investigating and do an inquiry into the relationship… My identification wasn’t caught up [in] being a celebrity’s … girlfriend.”
That was McCarthy‘s reason (for real) as to why she and Jim Carrey, who she dated for five years and lived with, too, broke up so suddenly. She got sick and tired of not being the famous one in the relationship, and wanted to move on to less-famous dudes so she could continue to have her moments in the spotlight. I’m betting, though, that she’s going to have trouble finding guys that are less famous than she is, though, because really – who the f*ck is Jenny McCarthy these days anyway? Ugh.
Is Jenny being as big a dick as I’m feeling, or am I just seriously in some massive Jim Carrey defense mode here?
November 22, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah
“I got [my] book deal the same time Jim and I split after five years together. While researching and writing it, I looked inside of myself and began to see what was wrong with me instead of blaming him for everything … I was a girl who pretended. I would say I liked things when I didn’t. I knew if I wanted to grow, I needed to make myself happy before I could begin to have an equal relationship with another man.”
Remember those days in elementary and middle school, where you’d hang out with a group of really fab people and because they all liked strawberry Nerds, you did too, even though you secretly fucking hated them? Like, would gag as soon as the slimy sheen of color began to dissolve on your tongue? You’d hate like hell to say that you didn’t, for fear of seeming ‘uncool,’ so you’d tolerate the bitter film coating the back of your throat ’til you could get to the water fountain on the 2nd floor next to the janitor’s closet (the one least likely to be used by your friends since it’s next to — ugh — that creepy janitor’s ‘office’)? Yeah. That’s Jenny McCarthy. Only she’s not eight years old.
Grow up, Jenny. I’m glad that you feel that you can be yourself, but those close to you at any points in time probably feel pretty gypped that you didn’t love Clerks as much as they did. Poser.
October 18, 2010 at 8:00 am by Sarah
The breakup between Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey is still pretty fresh — Carrey’s still experiencing the emotional fallout that’s been publicized through his very public Twitter account and now I think I know the reason behind his sad, sad feelings: ex-girlfriend McCarthy is apparently fucking some dude that has a really sketchy hairline and fishbowl eyes.
McCarthy and her hand-holding “friend” were photographed this past weekend outside of a Los Angeles club, where the former girlfriend of funnyman Jim Carrey was all smiles. She also had red-painted nails, which we all know is the color of the devil.
(Sorry, I watched The Village last night and I still have a slight aversion to the color red.)
May 17, 2010 at 7:23 am by Sarah
Super-amazing-adorable power-couple Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy have called it quits on their five-year union.
My first reaction to the news was, “What? Fuck, this is way late for an April Fools’ gag and it’s not even all that chuckalicious to begin with” and then I saw that both parties Tweeted the news. I’ve found out the hard way, if it’s on Twitter, it’s gotta be true:
Carrey’s Twitter: Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay! ?;^>
McCarthy’s Twitter: Im so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.
What happened?! This, from the couple who publicly swapped bathing suits on the beach?
Does anything good ever last?!