Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt Looks Pretty Unhappy, But Pretty Hot, Too.

Hewitt was photographed yesterday at a lunch outing with her mother at an El Torito restaurant in SoCal.

She’s obviously played it low-key in her choice of clothing — no grandma-style muumuus or Golden Girls knit afghan rip-offs. I’d say ’twas a good, good day for Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Sooo … why the long face, Jen? Are you regretting your split with Jamie Kennedy already? Oh, wait, no … You’ve already been linked with John Asher. Is it that? Did you guys have an epic falling out already? Did he run screaming back to his ex, Jenny McCarthy, or something? Did Cupid finally get sick of your shit and sue your ass for plagiarism? Tell me, girl, what is it?

Jennifer Love Hewitt Doesn’t Seek Out Players

But with the exception of Jamie Kennedy, that’s all the poor girl ends up with.

JLH speaks recently to Ryan Seacrest about the trials and tribulations of being … le sigh … Jennifer Love Hewitt. Evidently, girlfriend’s been cheated on — alot:

“It’s brutal. Once I found out on television and that was awesome. And then another time I found them together … and that was, woooo!”

Hewitt states that she once actually caught an ex in a rather provocative position and says about it, “That was not good.” She also claims that she found a man was cheating on her simply by having “a feeling” and found out it was true through phone snooping evidence.

So, why did she and Kennedy break up, when it was clear that he had no other options aside from Hewitt? Who knows. Maybe it was the lack of adventure for Hewitt … no one likes when things get stagnant and shit, who likes being in a relationship where there isn’t constant drama and strife, duh. But have no fear — Kennedy won’t be lumped with the other philandering dudes that Jennifer’s dated:

“We are sort of opposites — I am sort of this gushy hopeless romantic and he is sort of this realist … So, he really taught me how to look at the reality of things like love whereas I had my head in the clouds before. He very much taught me some things and he taught me a lot about men and what they think.”

Snark aside, JLH has dated some pretty solid dudes — at least solid back in their heyday. Hewitt’s been linked to Joey Laurence, Will Friedle, Andrew Keegan, Carson Daly, Diego Serrano, Rich Cronin, Wilmer Valderrama, Patrick Wilson, Enrique Iglesias, John Mayer, Stephen Dorff, John Cusack, Kip Pardue, Will Estes, Ross McCall and most recently Jamie Kennedy.

Really, she’s dated a lot of pretty hot guys and not all of them seemed like players, so … what’s the deal?  Is she cursed or does she bring the drama herself?

Jennifer Love Hewitt Broke Up With Jamie Kennedy For the Publicity, Wants to Go Back to Her 90′s Roots

Jennifer Love Hewitt steps out for her first Big Premiere since splitting with Jamie Kennedy, well, whenever it happened.  Sometime recently or whatever.  She appeared for the flagship opening of the Esprit store in New York City last night and although I kind of dig the new hair — sort of — she’s really grasping at straws in order to thrust herself into the spotlight again, heaving bodice first.  In her defense, though, what better way to do it?  Endure a public breakup with someone who’s even less famous than you are and hit up the major cities for whatever clothing store opening that’ll grant you entrance.  Boy, now her split with Kennedy will surely give her the publicity-fix that she so desperately craves … at least for another few weeks.

It’s actually kind of funny how she made sure to attend the Esprit opening … and kind of appropriate, ’cause I haven’t worn Esprit since eighth grade, back when Jennifer Love Hewitt was actually relevant.

Ah, poetic justice.

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s New, Shorter “Break-Up” Hair

After splitting with boyfriend Jamie Kennedy a little over a week ago, Jennifer Love Hewitt already appears to be squarely on step four of the breakup routine:

1. Get really drunk with your friends

2. Embarrassing phone call / email to ex (sometimes done concurrently with step 1)

3. Question self worth

4. Get a new hairdo (some women replace “hairdo” with “tattoo”)

5. Have a rebound

6. Regret Rebound

7. Say you just want to concentrate on “you” and be single for a while

It’s not surprising she’s already on to step four. She’s an old pro at this by now.

Jennifer’s Body- Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Body, that is

Jennifer Love Hewitt on the cover of the October issue of Shape magazine

Well,  it’s happened again; needless and debatably immoral airbrushing on the cover of a magazine. And just like last time, it’s yet another “women’s health” magazine that claims to focus on “Diet, Fitness, and Healthy Eating.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt appears on the cover of the October issue of Shape magazine. Now, she is by no means an overweight woman, but even so, this health and fitness magazine airbrushed her size 2 ass. You can see the October cover on the left and pictures of a slightly hippier, thicker in the waist Love Hewitt on vacation in Hawaii last month.

Part of the blurb for the October issue on Shape‘s website reads:

“For the most part, yeah, I’m happy with my body, but there are days when I’m like, ‘Ugh! Really? Why is it so hard to fit into my jeans?’ That’s when I say to myself, ‘I look this way because I’m supposed to. If we all looked the same, we’d be boring.’” Here, she reveals her stay-healthy-and-happy strategies as well as her work out that she uses to stay slim and confident.

I’m not blaming Jennifer. What the magazine chooses to do with their cover is their business. It’s not often that I take the moral high ground– mostly because I spend so much time traversing the moral low ground that taking the high ground represents a rather strenuous and perilous climb for me. But if Shape magazine were a person, it should be downright ashamed of itself.

I can understand airbrushing out cellulite, blemishes, or shadows to present a cosmetically pleasing image. I can even begrudgingly acknowledge that a high fashion magazine– whose modus operandi is to present unrealistic images of clothing and women– might digitally eliminate a few pounds from a model to make her look thinner than she actually is.

But the hypocrisy of magazines that claim to be devoted to fitness, exercise, and “Total Body Confidence” airbrushing inches off someone as thin as Jennifer Love Hewitt to make her look even thinner while plying its readers with exercise moves guaranteed to “Take an Inch off your Hips” is just disgustingly impalpable….Unless their method for taking an inch off your hips involves Photoshop. And it doesn’t.

Seriously, if you have a subscription to Self or Shape magazine, you should probably cancel it. Right now. They’re just proving themselves to be full of crap and lies.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Takes On Second Fiance Of 2009

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It was only this past January that Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall ended their year-long engagement and the universal question was posed:  Will Jennifer Love Hewitt ever find love again?  Take heart, the answer is a resounding “YES!”

JLH’s boyfriend Jamie Kennedy was on stage Saturday night at the Laugh Factory comedy club in Long Beach — I didn’t even know he was a comedian.  Isn’t that horrible? — when an audience member yelled out that he should marry Hewitt.  Kennedy responded by getting down on one knee and proposing to Jennifer “I Love You For Today” Hewitt.  Thankfully, his request for her hand in marriage fell within her timeline.

Now, Jamie didn’t have a ring since this engagement was so nauseating impromptu, but I imagine they’ll be split up around the time that the ring shopping commences.

Look Out Ladies: Jennifer “Can’t Find Love” Hewitt Is Writing a Book About Dating

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J-Love may have wormed her slimy little way into Wendie’s heart, but I continue to carry my distaste for her. And I am EXTREMELY SCARED for women everywhere now that I hear she’s writing a book about dating.

With plenty of dating experience under her belt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has decided to write a book, titled The Day I Shot Cupid, addressing romantic relationships that will include everything from tips on text-flirting and how to start over after a breakup.

“I thought it was time to share the real story of what I’ve learned navigating the dating waters.” Hewitt says in a statement from Voice publishers. “Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons.”

Um, I will be interested in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s book when she calls it The Day I Got Engaged to a Man and Then Actually Married Him. Because, look, I’ve been on a lot of dead-end dates, too. I’ve dated a lot of men and then realized that it wasn’t going to work out in the long run. But I never got engaged to the dudes. And it’s a mistake that everyone is entitled to make once, but how many damn times have you been engaged now, Love? And then broke it off? I will take dating advice from you the same day I take fashion tips from Chloe Sevigny.

The book — if you dare to read it — will come out in March 2010.