10Winter White: Who Did It Better, J Lo or Taylor Swift?

So I’m going to go with J Lo, because quite honestly, I’m sort of biased against Taylor Swift these days. Yeah, girlfriend’s pretty much got fashion and what not on lockdown, but I’m so sick to death of seeing her stupid, smug face all over the place, and this is why I’m rooting for the lady who’s defined by her weird boyfriend as of late, instead.

Who wore it better—J Lo or Taylor Swift?

January 25, 2013 at 6:30 am by Sarah

6Oh, Jennifer Lopez Is Just Wearing Wedding Dresses Now

Ha ha, but really. This is a wedding dress. It’s not a white dress that could, in theory, be a wedding dress. No, this is from the Lanvin Blanche Bridal collection. It’s a wedding dress. Girl is wearing a wedding dress to a movie premiere.

It’s happening soon, guys. I’m just going to go ahead and lay it out there. First there was the story about how Casper wanted to be a dad, then Jennifer herself said that she would love to have more kids. They just got a dog, even. If she’s not pregnant or engaged by Valentine’s Day, then I give up.

Let me just say this one more time: Jennifer Lopez is wearing actual wedding dresses to movie premieres now. That’s just got to mean something.

January 24, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Emily

5Jennifer Lopez Adopted A Dog with Her Little Baby Boyfriend!

We already knew that this relationship was serious. I mean, I’m pretty positive that Jennifer Lopez is going to make Casper propose to her relatively soon – at the very least, before the year is through. But I think we can all agree that dog adoption is an especially serious step in any relationship, right?

But guys, look at the dog:

Oh my god. You probably can’t even comprehend right off how cute this little puppy is, so probably come back and look at this picture a few times throughout the evening, let it sink in gradually. This puppy is SO CUTE.

Casper tweeted the photo, and he also let us in on the dog’s name: Bear. Of course.

But hey, did you see how adorable that puppy is?

January 20, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Emily

0Jennifer Lopez “Would Love” to Have More Babies

And so it begins. And by “it,” of course I mean Jennifer Lopez‘s campaign to get Casper Smart‘s sperm inside of her baby factory. It’s going to come hard and fast, just like … oh god, I can’t even finish that joke.

Before we get too far into this, here’s what Jennifer actually said:

“I would love to have more. I don’t know if it’s in the cards for me, but I would love it.”

There’s no word on if she was holding Casper’s hand when she gave this quote, squeezing it hard and looking right into his eyes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. I think we all realize how hard Jennifer goes when she wants to lock a dude down, and it looks like she’s pretty set on Casper, for some reason. So basically, expect a proposal and a pregnancy announcement within the next six months. I’m going to go ahead and call that. Mark your calendars, because it’s going down.

January 16, 2013 at 5:30 am by Emily

4Casper Smart Wants to Be A Daddy!

There comes a time in a young man’s life when he has to decide what path he wants to take. Maybe he’ll decide to focus on his career and throw everything he has into it. Maybe he’ll decide that he wants to lead a life full of leisure. Or maybe he’ll decide that what will truly give his life meaning is having children. It’s like aspirations in the Sims – there’s just something that matters more to you than everything else.

It seems like Casper Smart, Jennifer Lopez‘s little baby boyfriend, has found his calling in life. Hint: it involves having sex and making bank.

From the National Enquirer:

CASPER SMART? YOU *BETCHA*!! It’s an open secret among his pals that 43-year-old JENNIFER LOPEZ’s private dancer, 25-year-old CASPER SMART, is desperate to get his superstar galpal pregnant, knowing a child would secure his place in her life forever – and now the deed’s about to get did!

“Casper’s been pushing the baby subject for months, and got real specific when he told her that the only Christmas present he wanted from her was to agree to have his baby,” said one of the dancer-choreographer’s closest friends.

“It now looks like he’ll get his wish because Jennifer’s finally agreed to do her best to get pregnant early in the New Year!”

Oh, yes. Casper Smart would. “The only thing I want for Christmas is for you to have my baby, baby,” he’d tell her sweetly, not mentioning that he’s been stealing money out of her purse for the past year, so that was a pretty sweet present too. And then she’d start doing a weird noisy flail where she tried to go “awww!” but kind of started crying, and he’d think “god, she’s so ugly when she cries,” and then she’d hug him and he’d unclasp her necklace to sell on the street. Just another hustle at the Lopez manor.

January 8, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Emily

3Love It or Leave It: Jennifer Lopez for You, Ben Affleck

So yeah. Jennifer Lopez is undeniably hot. Kind of like how Casper Smart, her little man, is undeniably disgusting. Pretty much everything about the tool completely repulses me, and if that’s not enough, he looks like he’s been WERKING ON HIS PECS.

Anyway, this whole Love It or Leave It is for Ben Affleck, as referenced in the post’s title. Because we ran that other piece earlier in the day about Ben Affleck talking about what a fine piece of ass J. Lo was (and still is), and how dating her was so f-cking brutal that he had to go and slum it with Jennifer Garner, siring all those kids in the process.

Life is so hard sometimes, you know?

November 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah