Ha! I fooled you with that quote, didn’t I? Justin Theroux didn’t really say that Jennifer Aniston is weird, but he may as well have done. Instead, he said that their life together is like living in a “different altitude”. Huh, well. That sounds promising.
I do think they are probably weirdos together – the house they bought came complete with a bunch of chickens that they’re raising now, for example – but isn’t that the great thing about love? Someone to put up with your weirdness and whose weirdness you can put up with, too?
“It’s a bit like going to a slightly different altitude, you know?” he says. The paparazzi—“I call them photojournalists, actually,” he says—can be a drag. And “when I get complimented on the street because I’m having twins”—that’s weird, too.
The many-million-dollar Bel Air mansion he and Aniston just bought came with its own poultry: six chickens. “We inherited the chickens from the previous owners,” Theroux says. “They were like, ‘Of course we’ll get rid of the chickens,’ and we said, ‘Are you crazy? Don’t get rid of the chickens. That’s half the reason we wanted this place.’ ”
Well, isn’t that nice? Frankly, I would love to have chickens because HELLO, free eggs. Except you have to feed the chickens and they stink and they get shit and feathers everywhere and are full of germs. Other than that, chickens are awesome.
So when are these two going to get married?
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Jennifer Aniston‘s rep probably has “Jennifer is not pregnant” copied and ready to paste at all times. Because for what feels like the millionth time, her rep is again denying that Ms. Aniston is pregnant, in response to this Us Weekly cover:
Aniston’s rep told the Daily Mail’s MailOnline, “Jennifer is not pregnant” told NY Daily News, “The entire story is a fabrication. Jennifer is not pregnant!” and spiced it up with Page Six saying, “Jennifer is NOT pregnant”. It seems that rumors started up again after Aniston was photographed in a tight-fitting purple gown. Her rep goes on to explain to Page Six, via USA Today that,
The whole story is a complete fabrication all the way from a supposed cancelled Smartwater shoot to Jennifer asking for a late check-out in Toronto and to her stylist having to rework her wardrobe. None of this ever happened and shame on Us magazine for once again getting it all wrong.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an actress been accused of being pregnant as many times as Jennifer Aniston. What is the fascination with this chick’s womb???
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Jennifer Aniston made waves with her “Rachel” haircut back in ’94 when she was on Friends, but that shit has haunted her ever since and probably will for the rest of her life. Admittedly, the cut was pretty terrible, but it was very modern at the time and girls of all ages were emulating it. However, Jennifer herself was never a fan and she recently claimed she’d rather shave her head than ever get the Rachel again.
From The Kyle and Jackie O Show:
“[I would rather] shave my hair once, definitely. ‘The Rachel’ for the rest of my life? Shave my head once! Yeah, I’d shave my head once!”
Well, that’s understandable, but a shaved head will take a whole lot longer to grow out than the Rachel. Also, sure, it was sorta ugly, but not THAT ugly… but I guess that’s easy for me to say since I didn’t have to wear it. People WILLINGLY got that haircut, though! And loved it! Everything has its time.
Then again, it’s no Kate Middleton hair.
If Jennifer Aniston was pregnant every time a magazine speculated she is, she’d have roughly 9,000 kids by now. Seriously, people – lay off it. Lately Jen’s been sporting a “baby bump” (read: Big Mac belly after lunch) and the press has taken that as a sure sign that THIS TIME, by God, she’s going to spawn a child! It’s finally happening! it’s getting real! Except… totally not.
Jennifer was forced to clear up the “rumours” on Australia’s Kyle and Jackie O Show on Monday:
“There’s nothing to announce. That’s just a couple of pounds.”
Yeah, I mean, damn. Let the girl breathe (and eat, apparently). She had to near on starve herself for We’re The Millers (and, well, for her entire life as an actress) and now that she’s chillin’ and is in a happy relationship (sure cause of weight gain), she’s put on like, what, 5 lbs? Give me a break.
Frankly, I think it’s unlikely Jennifer Aniston will ever have kids, and here’s a newsflash: THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY. Not all women are sitting there pining for a tiny squirming human to look after. Let’s all follow our own paths, etc.
They should probably be having a wedding party by now, but instead Jennifer Aniston threw forever fiancé Justin Theroux a super “casual” (read: probably boring?) birthday party at their “$21 million Bel Air mansion” on Saturday. Plenty of stars were in attendance, including Ben Stiller (why?), Dax Shepard, Emily Blunt and Ellen & Portia. Sounds like a hoot.
Here’s the scoop from US Weekly:
Pre-party, a source tells Us Weekly that the ladies got ready inside (Aniston’s hair stylist Chris McMillan was on hand to style the We’re The Millers star), while Theroux, an actor-screenwriter, hung out with his guys outside.
“Several of Justin’s friends spent the afternoon at the house hanging out by the pool with him and celebrating his birthday,” an eyewitness shares. “It was a relaxed afternoon and they were all in the cabana area having drinks and listening to music like Kanye West and The Kinks.”
“Most people were dressed casually in jeans and T-shirts,” a source tells Us. “Justin was dressed casually in a black T-shirt and black jeans, and Jen had on a short green skirt and long sleeved top.”
While the actress, 44, chatted with her friends, mostly sticking to gal pals Fisher and Meyer, the birthday boy — who received gifts from Cartier and Barney’s — spent a majority of the night with Shepard and Kimmel.
There was also an indoor BBQ, a fire pit and awesome sunset views, I guess. I have to laugh at the people who sold this story to US Weekly. Is it even true? Sure, the party happened, but anyone could make up shit like the fire pit and whatnot. I dunno, whatever. Happy birthday, Justin Theroux? Oh, and one more question: what did they do with all the chickens
Dear Jennifer Hudson, this is awful. Sorry. Sincerely, me.
Time for the Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week. We’re covering late July and very early August. In case you didn’t know. And now you do. And learning is fun. Obviously, Courtney Stodden’s lettuce bikini is included in here.
BEST: Dita Von Teese
WORST: Bachelor Sean Lowe
WTF?!?: Click to find out! (It’s a doozy.)
Not really sure what to make of this interview, but Jennifer Aniston turned up on her friend Chelsea Handler‘s talkshow, Chelsea Lately, for a little chit chat. While there, Chelsea asked Jen to comment on rumours that she and forever fiancé Justin Theroux are nudists. Turns out, they’re not but they do raise chickens? I don’t know, but here’s People‘s recap of the episode:
“We don’t walk around nude, darling,” she told good friend Chelsea Handler. “I mean, we do when it’s appropriate. He’s comfortable enough in his skin.”
“No, that’s not true. That’s absolute B.S.,” she said of the nudism rumor.
If they were nudists, she pointed out, how would they raise their chickens? “Are we, like, collecting eggs naked and walking the lawns naked?” she asked.
“I’m not raising them. We inherited them,” she said. “Well, I guess we are keeping them alive, yes.”
Amateur chicken farming does have its upsides, though. “We have so many eggs,” Aniston said. “People are getting so sick of getting eggs. It’s like, here, we didn’t bring wine, but here’s a carton of eggs!”
So, what have we learned here today, folks? Jennifer Aniston raises chickens, brings eggs instead of wine to dinner parties and is generally always wearing clothes. All important facts to add to her Wikipedia page, no doubt. I’ve never even heard rumours about them being nudists, but maybe I’m just out of touch.