Dear Jennifer Hudson, this is awful. Sorry. Sincerely, me.
Time for the Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week. We’re covering late July and very early August. In case you didn’t know. And now you do. And learning is fun. Obviously, Courtney Stodden’s lettuce bikini is included in here.
BEST: Dita Von Teese
WORST: Bachelor Sean Lowe
WTF?!?: Click to find out! (It’s a doozy.)
Not really sure what to make of this interview, but Jennifer Aniston turned up on her friend Chelsea Handler‘s talkshow, Chelsea Lately, for a little chit chat. While there, Chelsea asked Jen to comment on rumours that she and forever fiancé Justin Theroux are nudists. Turns out, they’re not but they do raise chickens? I don’t know, but here’s People‘s recap of the episode:
“We don’t walk around nude, darling,” she told good friend Chelsea Handler. “I mean, we do when it’s appropriate. He’s comfortable enough in his skin.”
“No, that’s not true. That’s absolute B.S.,” she said of the nudism rumor.
If they were nudists, she pointed out, how would they raise their chickens? “Are we, like, collecting eggs naked and walking the lawns naked?” she asked.
“I’m not raising them. We inherited them,” she said. “Well, I guess we are keeping them alive, yes.”
Amateur chicken farming does have its upsides, though. “We have so many eggs,” Aniston said. “People are getting so sick of getting eggs. It’s like, here, we didn’t bring wine, but here’s a carton of eggs!”
So, what have we learned here today, folks? Jennifer Aniston raises chickens, brings eggs instead of wine to dinner parties and is generally always wearing clothes. All important facts to add to her Wikipedia page, no doubt. I’ve never even heard rumours about them being nudists, but maybe I’m just out of touch.
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux may have stopped talking about their wedding, but that’s only just because Jennifer doesn’t really care about getting married. Sure, it’ll happen eventually, but what’s the rush? Some couples stay engaged for years! Maybe even decades! Maybe they’ll just never have a wedding and why does it matter because it’s just a silly wedding!!!!!!!
Anyway, Jennifer basically told E News (via Metro) that there’s no hurry for a ceremony since the pair “already feel married” and are just chillin’ in their non-married married life.
‘We just want to do it when it’s perfect, and we’re not rushed, and no one is rushing from a job or rushing to a job,’ the 44-year-old Friends star said, despite anticipation the pair were to wed this summer after announcing their engagement.
‘And, you know, we already feel married,’ she said at the premiere of her new flick We Are The Millers.
That’s fair enough – I’m sure lots of people feel that way. Marriage is a really outdated idea. Of course, I think anyone who wants to get married should absolutely go for it, but I don’t think couples who DON’T get married are any less committed to one another in the slightest (RIP, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins‘ relationship!) but it is a little dicey when you’re a celebrity who announced your engagement and made a big to-do about tying the knot and don’t do it when everyone’s waiting on it. Not that they owe anything to the public or whatever. GOD, I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OKAY.
Jennifer Aniston‘s new hair makes her look like an older version of pre-nose job Jennifer Grey. That’s not a bad thing! Don’t worry, Aniston fans, it’s a wig for her upcoming film, Squirrels to the Nuts, the one she did with Will Forte who gushed all over the place about how great she was at giving him relationship advice. Here’s how that went:
Will Forte: I don’t know what to do, I think my girlfriend is going to break up with me and she’s going to take the dog and I really don’t want her to because it’s jus—
Jennifer Aniston: (Who the f-ck is this guy? Why is he talking to me? Does he work here? Say something.) Uh oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. (He’s still talking. Who is this person? Is this my new assistant? Is he–GOT IT. He’s in the movie. With me. Okay, why is he telling me this?) Ohh, honey, that’s terrible. (Did I say something to him? Oh crap I think I asked him if he had a girlfriend. I was just trying to be polite! Okay, just sit here and say things and text your assistant to save you.)
But who knows.
Jennifer Grey is an actress best known for being in the car with Matthew Broderick when he fell asleep at the wheel and hit another car, head-on, killing both passengers inside. (More on this story from an archived 1987 article from People.) He and Grey remained unscathed and he did not go to jail. He was charged with careless driving and fined $175 and that was it (Wikipedia).
I’m sorry, that’s not what she’s known for at all. What I meant to say was Jennifer Grey is an actress best known for Dirty Dancing and then getting a nose job and ruining her career.
I ALWAYS get those two stories mixed up!
Come on, guys, I see it. Can you? Just a little?
Jennifer Aniston recently went all, “waaah I can’t handle a Big Mac, even though I ate a cobb salad every day on the set of Friends, waaaahh wah wah.” Well, Beyoncé is nothing like that, everyone. Not only does she enjoy a fast food cheeseburger, but she enjoyes it with champagne. THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT, ANISTON. Bey posted this photo on her Instagram:
Looks like that’s a bellini she’s drinking. Either someone was joining her or she really loves champagne. Oh God that looks so good. Even though In-N-Out’s fries are ass.
And listen up: yes, being a native LA douche, I realize that In-N-Out’s food is way better than McDonald’s. However, the Big Mac is delicious and compared to a cheeseburger at In-N-Out, as opposed to comparing it to a Gwyneth Paltrow happy meal, the two are equally “bad” for you. Point being, if Beyoncé can handle a fast food cheeseburger, anyone can. That includes you, Aniston. And I think Mrs. Carter looks pretty damn great.
What’s your favorite fast food?
Jennifer Aniston gave me serious Gwyneth feelings when she told NY Mag’s The Cut (via Daily Mail) how awful it felt to eat a Big Mac. Okay, look, I don’t feel like wearing a bikini and running in a field after I eat a Big Mac, but I don’t all get smarmy and high and mighty over it either. You eat it, it’s delicious, you hate yourself, you get over it, you do it again. This is the ritual, Aniston.
I’ll never forget when Justin and I were on a road trip and we were so hungry. [False, this so never happened, come on. You went on a road trip? When the hell did you have time to go on a road trip? I'm sorry, I'll let her continue.] The only thing around was McDonald’s. I think I ordered a Big Mac. Wow, my body did not react well to that! It was like putting gasoline in a purified system. I am always trying to eat organic and natural foods, so that just made my stomach turn and made me feel terrible. And I think what you put in your body, as well as stress, is reflected in the quality of your skin.
DON’T GO FULL GWYNETH, JENNIFER. YOU NEVER GO FULL GWYNETH.
I really want a f-cking Big Mac now, goddamn you Aniston.
Oh, God. Can we just get this over with already? Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have apparently completely stopped planning their wedding after a major fight about where they’ll eventually live. Apparently Justin wants to spend his time between LA and New York City, and Jen gave that idea a big “HELL NO” and wants to stay in SoCa full time.
From Radar Online:
As Radar reported, Thoreaux has been miserable living in sunny Los Angeles. But Jen has refused to move to New York.
In an attempt to break the impasse and formalize the start of their new life together Justin proposed a bi-coastal solution.
“He suggested the couple could live in New York City part-time, no more than six months a year (and L.A. the rest of the time),” the source said. “Justin misses the Big Apple, and his friends. His entire life was in New York, and he uprooted his entire life to move to LA to be with Jen.
“He thinks it’s time Jen start to compromise, but she is absolutely refusing to live on the East Coast, even part-time.”
That refusal by Jen has led to the delay in marriage by a couple that seemed quickly headed down the altar. Jen has settled in Los Angeles and even spent a significant sum fixing up her house, where she expects to live with Justin.
I don’t blame Justin on this one – I’d HATE living in LA. Every time I’m out there, I can’t wait to NOT be there again. Then again, it’s one of those places you feel nostalgic for once you’ve left. Still, the traffic, weather, traffic, shitty people, traffic, weather and shitty people (so bad they have to be named twice) are enough to keep me away for life.
So what will happen? Will a compromise be reached? Is this wedding going to happen or is Jen going to gain official Cat Lady status (in the eyes of SOCIETY, people) soon?