4Jennifer Aniston Is Engaged!

But hey, for real, ok? Like, for real. This isn’t just the thousandth rumor this month or anything, this is actually, really and truly, for real. You can tell it’s for real because Justin’s rep made a statement to People about it. Look:

Jennifer Aniston is getting married to boyfriend Justin Theroux!

“Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Friday, receiving an extraordinary gift when his girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, accepted his proposal of marriage,” his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Aniston, 43, and Theroux, 41, an actor-screenwriter, have been dating for more than a year.

The couple – who both starred in Wanderlust – were first spotted together in May 2011.

“They are great friends,” a source told PEOPLE at the time.

During an interview on Good Morning America the next month, when asked about her personal life, Aniston couldn’t hide her emotions.

“Yes, I’m very happy. I’m extremely lucky, and I’m extremely happy,” she said.

You know what must suck though? Having your love life inspected so closely and judged so thoroughly because your husband cheated on you. That must really, really suck. But I’m definitely not above it, because my first thought was “oh, that’s weird timing.” And I know that Jennifer’s whole entire life doesn’t revolve around Brad Pitt. I know that. But I can’t fight this. I’m just one person, and I’m not strong enough.

August 13, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

13Who Is The Highest Paid Actress in Hollywood?

Oh, you guys, I’m sorry. When I asked the question of “who is the highest paid actress in Hollywood?” and then put a picture of Meryl Streep right up there at the top, that made it look like Meryl is the highest paid actress, didn’t it? I’m sorry, but it’s just not true. Meryl is on the list, but she’s not at the top. She deserves to be at the top, but she’s not.

Before I let you know the richiest rich lady in Hollywood, let me just show you the top ten list, all right? I’ll go ahead and tack on the amount of money they made in the past year, just so you can cry while you balance your checkbook like I do.

10. Jennifer Aniston – $11 million
9. Kristen Wiig – $12 million
8. Meryl Streep – $12 million
7. Sarah Jessica Parker – $15 million
6. Julia Roberts – $16 million
5. Charlize Theron – $18 million
4. Angelina Jolie – $20 million
3. Sandra Bullock – $25 million
2. Cameron Diaz – $34 million

Ok, but who do you think landed in the number one spot? Who do you think made nearly three times as much as the beloved Meryl Streep? Who do you think made a few million dollars more than Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston combined?

1. Kristen Stewart – $34.5 million

Yes, thanks to them Twilight movies and Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart is the top-earning actress in all of Hollywood. Does anyone else feel physically ill?

June 21, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

3John Mayer Wrote a Song About Jennifer Aniston

From Us Weekly:

Although they split nearly three years ago, the 34-year-old singer (whose exes also include Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt) penned his single “Shadow Days” (from the album Born and Raised) with Aniston, 43, in mind.

“Shadow Days is about Jen,” a source tells Us Weekly. “It really took him a long time to get over her. He really loved her a lot.”

Sings Mayer in the song: “”You find yourself alone. . . I found myself in pieces/ On my hotel floor/Hard times help me see/I’m a good man with a good heart/Had a tough time, got a rough start/And I finally learned to let it go.”

Explains the source: “He wrote the song as a farewell letter knowing [Jen] would hear it. Ultimately he’s done a lot of self reflection though and it he realizes they weren’t right for each other.”

The rocker and the Horrible Bosses actress first got together in April 2008 and, after multiple breakups, called it quits for good in late 2009. Aniston has been happily ensconced with Justin Theroux for over a year now. “[John and Jen] weren’t right for each other, but he is really a good guy.”

Oh! Do you guys even remember them dating? Because they did. It was a pretty serious relationship, too. Serious enough that they were “confirmed” to be “enjoying their friendship.” Ugh. John Mayer. In further detail, this is what he has to say about his previous relationship with Jennifer Aniston, through song:

Did you know that you could be wrong
And swear you’re right
Some people been known to do it
All their lives
But you find yourself alone
Just like you found yourself before
Like I found myself in pieces
On the hotel floor
Hard times have helped me see

I’m a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I’m right here, and I’m right now
And I’m open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Well I ain’t no troublemaker
And I never meant her harm
But it doesn’t mean I didn’t make it hard to carry on

Well it sucks to be honest
And it hurts to be real
But it’s nice to make some love
That I can finally feel
Hard times let me be

I’m a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I’m right here, and I’m right now
And I’m open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

I’m actually speechless. I don’t know what’s crazier—the fact that this is the second girlfriend by the name of Jennifer that he’s written a song about (guys, he’s like the male Taylor Swift), or that Jennifer Aniston made John Mayer collapse on a hotel room floor*.

*Because she’s Jennifer Aniston, you know.

May 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

8Oh, Jennifer Aniston is Getting Married, Too

From TMZ:

Jennifer Aniston and boyfriend Justin Theroux are planning a wedding thousands of miles away from Hollywood … TMZ has learned.

Sources connected with the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete (where Aniston’s dad was born, located about 230 miles south of Greece) tell TMZ … Aniston was there recently, scoping the place out. Our sources say Aniston mentioned a July wedding.

Of course she’s getting married. And you know what? I bet that she and Justin were engaged months before Angelina and Brad were, and they just kept it under wraps because they’re very personal people who don’t feel the need to discuss their private lives, their previous relationships, or the best ways to be a Stage 5 Clinger keep the home fires alive.

And speaking of “home,” they’ve already plopped down twenty-one million dollars for a four-bedroom, seven-bathroom sitting atop three oceanfront acres of property that also happens to come with a vineyard. Do you know what twenty-one million would do for a nation of impoverished children? I mean, God. The least she could do is adopt two or three or six of them.

Anyway, the source is TMZ, which is pretty credible, and if the July date is real, then Brad and Angelina will definitely have no competition for Biggest Wedding Ever. But it’s not like there’s, you know, any kind of real competition anyway, guys. Come on now. This isn’t 2005 or whatever, you know.

April 23, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

8Quotables: Jennifer Aniston Totally Doesn’t Care That Brad Pitt’s Marrying That Woman

“She doesn’t care. She really doesn’t. She’s happy with Justin [Theroux]. She’ll probably marry him. She’s moved on. People don’t want to believe it, but she has.”

The wise, sage words above came directly from one of Jen’s “close friends” who leaked the unofficial statement that Jennifer probably paid him or her to make to the media. And while I’d like to think that Jennifer doesn’t care, as some of her friends say, she does care, and she probably cares a whole lot. Hollywood Life tells a different story—one where Jennifer Aniston actually does care, and wishes the newly-engaged couple well:

“Jennifer is happy for Brad and Angelina. She is so in love with Justin, that she is really grateful how things turned out. In a strange way if it weren’t for Angelina, Jennifer would not have connected with Justin in a romantic way. Jennifer is in a really wonderful place right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she even went to their wedding.”

But wait … And if things go south for Jennifer and Justin, she’ll, what, blame Angelina for that, too? Because what if things don’t end well? What if she doesn’t end up marrying him? She allegedly credits Angelina for her today-happiness, but if that’s only fleeting, then what? Maybe “friends” should stop making silly statements that could come back and bite the people who are involved on the ass in the long run if things don’t operate as they “should.”

Here’s my point—new information says that the Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie announcement couldn’t have come at a worse time, as Jen and Justin are said to be taking a break, one that Justin himself initiated:

Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend has reportedly suggested he needs “some space” amid claims their relationship is on the rocks.

Jennifer and Justin Theroux are said to be on a break as they have been bickering. The tensions allegedly came to a head over the Easter weekend with one report suggesting an argument between the pair reduced Jennifer to “floods of tears”. Now more speculation has surfaced, claiming Justin has asked for time apart.

“Justin suggested he needed some space, which escalated into an almighty row, and by the end of it he said he wanted a break and told Jen he had been looking into buying a place of his own in Los Angeles,” a friend told the UK edition of Grazia magazine.

So, which is it? Is she happy? Sad? Apathetic? Apathetic without the ‘a’? I don’t know anymore, guys. It’s Jennifer Aniston. She always keeps us on our toes.

April 17, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

2Jennifer Aniston Got A Puppy!

Or, no, let’s make this perfectly clear: Jennifer Aniston and boyfriend Justin Theroux got a puppy together. As a couple. It’s their puppy. Got it?

Really, that part doesn’t matter all that much, or it doesn’t to me, anyway. No, what matters to me is OMG PUPPIES. I don’t think I have to tell you how I feel about fuzzy, adorable, lovable, perfect little critter angels, do I? I love animals so much, and when I get to tell you guys a wonderful story about a celebrity loving animals too, it just warms my heart it really does. And this story about Jennifer Aniston is no different.

From People:

“We were [at the shelter] for three hours. I was almost walking out with three puppies,” she told Jay Leno in a Friday appearance on The Tonight Show. “That’s why we named her Sophie, because it was [like] Sophie’s Choice. I was crying – it was so hard.”

The actress, who adopted the pit bull mix with boyfriend Justin Theroux, said a friend involved in animal rescue had her on speed dial when a litter of 10 puppies showed up at a shelter one Sunday.

“They were left in a box in front of a shelter – so heartbreaking,” Aniston said. “So we ran over.”

The adorable puppy made sure she stood out from the pack. “Sophie came right up to us,” said Aniston. “That was sort of a big indicator – they choose you.”

Oh my goodness, I feel Jennifer Aniston right here harder than I ever have before. Could you imagine, fellow animal lovers? Ten poor little homeless puppies that just need love? And you know if they’re pit bulls, they don’t really have much of a chance. When I was trying to figure out what to do with the adorable little pit bull puppy I had for a hot minute (I don’t know if I’ve told you guys the whole thing, but basically there was a puppy running free around my old neighborhood that belonged to a couple of little boys that never took care of him or fed him or, you know, cared about him at all. My roommate and I would take him back home, and he would always find his way back to our house. One night there was a really awful storm, and we just took him inside because he was scared, and he never really left until we found him a new home), all the local shelters told me that since he was a pit bull, he would pretty much be put down the minute he arrived. And that’s not even taking into consideration all the random rednecks who happened to hear about the puppy and wanted to know if he was a purebred and if his ears had been clipped and were obviously interested in dog fighting. It’s just really, really sad, and I don’t blame Jennifer at all for wanting to bring home three puppies. If I had Jennifer’s money and resources, I would be super tempted to bring home all ten of them, because PUPPIES.

Here’s the only picture I could find of Jennifer’s new dog, Sophie:

Sigh. Why can’t all stories involve precious dogs?

February 28, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily