Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jennifer Aniston

Which Celebrity Would You Like to Have as A Neighbor?

A photo of Courtney Stodden

Me, I picked Courtney Stodden. Not only is she a true American, as you can see in the classy photo above, but we could trade makeup tips, she could show me where to get cool and stylish arm bands, and I could figure out the best, most tactful way to tell her that none of her shoes fit and it looks gross. Yes, Courtney Stodden would make a fine, fine neighbor.

But you know what? Apparently this real estate blog called Zillow does this survey every year in which they ask people which celebrity they would most like to have as a neighbor and which celebrity would be the absolute worst neighbor. And you know who was named the most desirable neighbor? The person who most people would want to have next door? Tim Tebow. Ugh, can you imagine? How boring. I’d be like “Tim, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, if you’re going to kneel and pray again, do it in your own damn yard.”

Still, good ol’ Tebow managed to bring in 11% of votes. Brad and Angelina weren’t far behind though: they got 10%. Following Brangelina was Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux at 9%, Jennifer Lopez with 6%, Beyonce and Jay-Z with 5%, and for whatever reason, Nancy Grace and Kim Kardashian tied with 4% of the votes. The remainder of the vote was split between “other” and “none of the above,” though I can’t figure out why the survey would have both of those choices.

But what about the survey for the least desirable neighbor? How would that vote turn out? For me, my neighbors in real life have had loud screaming matches that I can hear every word of from my apartment (it’s two couples living in a two bedroom apartment, and one of the dudes has a lady on the side that his lady in the apartment has a pretty good idea about), they do laundry for 40 hours straight (I counted), and they left dog feces wrapped in a napkin in front of our window, and that was just this week! So I can’t really think of any celebrity worse than that, so … wait. Courtney Love sets things on fire in her home. That might be worse.

According to America, however, the cast of Jersey Shore win the highest honors with 28% of voters naming them the worst neighbors. Next is Charlie Sheen with 21%, Lindsay Lohan with 14%, Kim Kardashian with 13%, Nancy Grace and Brad and Angelina are tied at 3%, Anthony Weiner had 2% of votes, and the rest, again, were either “other” or “none of the above.”

But what about you, friends? Is there any celebrity that you think would be a delight to have as a neighbor, or any that would be absolutely horrible? Are you still trying to figure out why any number of people would want to live next to Jennifer Lopez? Because I’m there too. We don’t have to be alone in this.

Jennifer Aniston’s Got Some Vanity Issues I Guess

photo of jennifer aniston black and white funny face girl pictures photos
Oh Jennifer Aniston. How you slay me with your interviews and your red carpet appearances and your constant onslaught of rom-coms and failed public romances that people just can’t get over. You’re one of the celebrities that I love to hate and … hate to … no. Wait. OK, right. You’re just one of the celebrities that I love to hate on. Here’s a recent interview with People, guys. Enjoy!

Jennifer on getting skin-savvy:

“I’ve started getting those little sun spots. Things are beginning to pop out. Even the texture [of my skin] is changing. So I’ve recently started zapping the spots and getting spray tans whenever I can. And I’ve graduated to using SPF 60 sunblock when I’m on the beach.”

Jennifer, backtracking about claiming she’d never had cosmetic enhancements:

“People think that I do a lot of injections, but I don’t. I’m not saying that I haven’t tried it … but I see how it’s a slippery slope.”

On being so natural that she hates mascara:

Jennifer [also revealed] that she tints her eyelashes every three weeks (“I hate wearing mascara,” she says) and that she used to keep scissors in her car’s glove compartment to trim split ends (“It was a weird tic,” she admits).

So, it seems to me that someone’s kind of hung up on their appearance, or at least the public perception of her appearance, huh? And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to slowly back away from the keyboard and wait for the Jennifer-lovers to swarm in and castrate me for criticizing the Most Beautiful and Sexy and Alluring Woman Who Ever Walked the Earth and Other Planets in Our Galaxy, the Milky Way. OK? Can you give me a five-second head start?

It’s Official: Jennifer Aniston Is the Sexiest Woman of All Time

Photo: Jennifer Aniston at The ELLE 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute in October

Er. Well, hmm. I can almost buy that Jennifer Aniston is the sexiest lady of all time. I mean, it’s pretty easy to forget about her turns in Office Space and The Good Girl, never mind ol’ fresh-faced Rachel on “Friends.” Plus, Jen has great hair—maybe the best hair.

Anyway. Aniston was crowned the Sexiest Woman of All Time by Men’s Health, with Brit-Brit, Madonna, and Marilyn (not Lindsay) also ranking in the top five. And it was according to a poll! Democracy at work, kids.

And who does Aniston pick as the sexiest woman ever? “It’s a tie between Brigitte Bardot and Gloria Steinem,” she says. “But if I had to choose one, I’d say Gloria because, well, she’s the full package. That’s sexy.” Aw! Jen’s a feminist, too!

Obviously, I think Debbie Harry is the Sexiest Woman of All Time. Or Harriet Tubman. Or Joan of Arc. Or the Virgin Mary. But if I had to choose one, I’d say Debbie.

Who would you have chosen as the hottest lady ever? Meet me in the comments section for a pow-wow.

Jennifer Aniston: the Sexiest Ever?
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Watch This: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux Milk a Goat

Photo: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux milk a goat in 'Wanderlust'

If I’m not mistaken—AND I SELDOM AM—Jennifer Aniston and boyfriend Justin Theroux first met on the set of Wanderlust. And when I see them together with the, uh, the goat (pictured), I can finally understand how those sparks first flew.

I am pretty excited about Wanderlust. Maybe the trailer itself is a little lackluster, but the movie is directed by David Wain, through whose veins run pure absurdist gold. (Sorry, I can damn near recite Wet Hot American Summer from heart.) Plus, it stars Paul Rudd! Hmmmm. Now that I think of it, Jen and Paul also costarred in The Object of My Affection—not that anybody remembers the mid-90s anymore. Ah, well.

Anyway, check out the trailer. I spy Ken Marino and Kerri Kenney (both “The State” alumni), and shapeshifting Justin Theroux is nigh unrecognizable as a member of a commune:

(Image via CNN.)

Quotables: Jennifer Aniston’s Trying to be Bad Like Her New Boyfriend

photo of jennifer aniston throwing a chair at a director pictures bad ass photos leather black pic

“I threw a chair at a director. It wasn’t my proudest moment. He was treating a script supervisor horribly… When the director walked in, I threw a chair at him. I missed, of course. I was like, ‘You can’t speak to people like that.’ I can’t tolerate it.”

So, um, you threw a chair at him, girlfriend? You don’t think that was, maybe, at all too dramatic? Couldn’t you have just spoken to him? Embarrassed him in front of his and your peers? Walked off set to make a statement? Advised the script supervisor to quit that shit? Don’t you think you’re kind of old for that kind of theatric? Shouldn’t you leave this kind of stuff to the seasoned pros like Lindsay Lohan? Or just maybe someone who’s a little bit younger and less mature. I don’t know. Did Justin put you up to this? Did he say that this, combined with your recent black-and-leather-wearing, will give you the street-tough cred that he so gets off on?

I know there’s a lot of questions here for you to answer, but if there’s anything you’ve got tons of lately, it’s time, right?

Brad Pitt Keeps Talking About Jennifer Aniston

A photo of Brad Pitt

It all started when Brad made that comment about Jennifer Aniston, you know, the one where he basically said that his life wasn’t that interesting when he was married to her. Which was a totally fair statement, I think, but, of course, everyone got all upset because Jennifer is supposed to be America’s sweetheart, I think, and how could he be so mean like that? And then Brad was like “no, no, what I said was interpreted all wrong, Jen is so awesome.” You’d think that would be the end of it, but no. Brad is still apologizing.

In a Today show interview that will air Thursday, the actor continued to explain why he said, “It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself. I think that my marriage had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”

Says Pitt to Lauer: “I don’t know what was pieced together or put together. All I know is that my point was, the best thing I’d done as a father is be sure that my kids have a good mother.”

“That’s all I was, or am, trying to say,” adds Pitt. “It has no reference to the past. And I think it’s a shame that I can’t say something nice about Angie without Jen being drug in. You know, she doesn’t deserve it.”

Pitt goes on, “I don’t wanna be encumbered by any of that. I know my intentions, and I know what I believe, and I know things get misconstrued, and I know there’s a good cycle and a good story to say we’re splitting up. And then when we don’t, they say we’ve come together again, it’s another new cycle, and then there’s a secret wedding. ‘No, that was put on hold because they’re upset.’ It’s, you know, that’s– I live outside of that, and it’s much healthier.”

When Lauer asked Pitt about the statement he released to The Hollywood Reporter and other outlets clarifying his comments, Pitt says, “I don’t want them to say anything bad like that about Jen. She’s a dear friend of mine.”

It seems like Brad really is getting an insane amount of shit for seemingly saying something negative about Jennifer Aniston, and that is so bizarre to me. I mean, it’s Jennifer Aniston, it’s not like Brad Pitt rained on Taylor Swift‘s parade at the VMAs or something. He mentioned a marriage that ended six years ago. Can we let this go already?