Jennifer Aniston plays a stripper (FINALLY, AM I RIGHT???) in her latest film, We’re The Millers. Despite the fact that we hear pretty much weekly that Ms. Anison has a “killer beach bod” (when we’re not hearing about how “pregnant” she is) we’re regularly updated that no, really, seriously you guys, Jennifer Aniston is really hot. I gotta say, for a 44 year-old woman ANY WOMAN she looks toned and tight and suck on that, Brad. She and her trainer tell us what’s up. From People:

I’ve always been in shape but I could never get rid of that little saddle bag and it was miraculous how it sort of melted away. (Aniston)

[Personal trainer] Ingber says that their three-day-a-week yoga practice helps keep the star’s body sculpted, from a holistic approach to fitness to healthy, organic eating. “Who doesn’t want longer legs?! She is very feminine, yet toned,” Ingber tells PEOPLE. “Athletic and slim.” And she recommends a move from her book to get similarly killer legs, which combines yoga’s Temple Pose with plié squats, finishing with 10 pulses at the bottom of the plié.

Cool, so basically we’re given no real info aside from the usual, “organic eating” and pilates/yoga clusterf-ck. TELL ME YOUR GODDAMN SECRETS, JENNIFER.

Jennifer Aniston and Will Forte became friends on the set of their upcoming Jackie Brown prequel The Switch, and it’s no surprise that during their downtime between scenes, conversations turned to Jennifer’s specialty: break-ups! You see, Will went through a particularly bad one during shooting, and it was Jennifer who was there to salve his wounds and get him back on his feet.

From Yahoo! OMG:

In fact, Jen even helped him pick up the pieces when his real-life relationship fell apart during filming.

“I was going through a breakup at the time and she was so giving and really helped me through it,” the 42-year-old actor admitted to omg!. “I cannot say enough good about her. She was just a fantastic person … She was a delight to act with as much as a delight to get to know.”

I’m sorta glad Will said this, since Jen gets a pretty harsh rep of like, not talking to anyone ever and being a bit of a handful. And I’m glad she could be there for Will. Hopefully he sees that things can eventually work out. Or something.

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux might be ready to tie the knot soon, but that doesn’t mean the wedding planning is in the bag. In fact, quite the opposite – it hasn’t really started. Before the peanut gallery chimes in, it’s not because the ceremony is never going to happen and is a total disaster waiting to happen, okay? It’s just Jen’s spontaneous side!

From Life & Style:

“I don’t have a dress,” she said. “I like to be very spontaneous.”

A vision of Jennifer as a blushing bride, complete with a gown for her milestone marriage is “something that will probably come together at the last minute” says the actress.

When asked about planning, Jen wouldn’t dish too much, only offering a reply that it “might make me crazy.”

Yay for procrastination! I mean, a wedding ceremony (especially when you’re a celebrity) isn’t really something you can half-ass, but I admire Jen’s dedication to putting shit off ’til the last possible second. And who knows, maybe that’ll be the secret to success.

Oh, come on, I’m kidding with that headline! I’m a staunch Team Jen supporter, as is Selena Gomez, who couldn’t contain her excitement when meeting the actress at some swanky Hollywood event and instead of speaking to her, went and hid. Well, that was smooth.

Recalling the experience in an interview with Radio Disney, Selena recalled:

“I ran away from Jennifer Aniston when she said, ‘Hi’, I was terrified of her. I was scared, so I ran away and I’m really embarrassed about that.”

“I didn’t know what to do – it’s Rachel.”

I think lots of people in my generation (and the one below mine, apparently) have had that big Friends connection – who didn’t grow up watching it? Who doesn’t watch it still every time one of the 8,000 stations that syndicates the series plays it, no matter how many times you’ve seen the episode? Who remembers the Pottery Barn episode (which is one of my favourites)? I rest my case.

Oh no they didn’t! Except, you know, they apparently did. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got engaged ages ago, but Mister Chanel just got their 90-day wedding license last week and they could be tying the knot this May. Hurrah! Everyone loves a wedding… except for Jennifer Aniston, whose own ceremony to fiancé Justin Theroux is supposed to be happening around the same time. Escandalo!

From The Sun:

Brad got a wedding licence at the end of last month — which stated they must marry in 90 days.

The deadline could see the big day for the pair clash with the nuptials of Brad’s ex JENNIFER ANISTON — which would spark a bitter bun-fight over celeb guests.

A source said: “Brad and Angelina left themselves short of time to sort out their wedding because of the licence deadline. A few months is nothing when you’re planning a wedding — especially one as major as theirs.

“Everything points to them getting married in May just after the Cannes Film Festival ends, because they’ve got their hearts set on tying the knot in France.”

There were also apparently some rumours that Jennifer was going to attend Brad and Angelina’s wedding as a “gesture of goodwill” – which, for the record, f-ck that – but if he’s doing all this to rain on her parade, he can forget about her turning up.

“All that goodwill would go out the window if Brad’s wedding date comes close to hers. Jennifer will see it as an attempt to upstage her and there will be a battle over Hollywood guests.

“She knows they will be judged on who had the better wedding by pulling in the biggest stars.”

Y’all know I am adamantly Team Jen and I think Brangelina are total assholes (you know, besides all that amazing charity and activism they participate in) and somehow Jen got all the stick for being cheated on, but whatevs. I’d go to both weddings, just for the free booze.

Is Jennifer Aniston thinking about changing her name to Jennifer Theroux after marriage? Sources say yes.

America’s sweetheartplans to secretly take Justin’s last name. “She plans on changing her name to Theroux. She likes the way it sounds and jokes that [Jennifer Theroux] sounds very posh.

When Ms. Aniston married Brad Pitt — wait hold on, does that not seem like a million years ago? Can you even picture them as a couple anymore? Does anyone else feel really old? Anyway, when they married she legally changed her name to Jennifer (Joanne) Pitt but still went by Jennifer Aniston. In this case, with her upcoming marriage to Justin Theroux, she’s thinking about not only legally changing it, but changing it “for the public” as well. Like when Courteney Cox changed her name to Courteney Cox-Arquette. And then in the first episode of Friends after she was married, every cast member had “-Arquette” added to their name. Okay now does anyone else feel really old?

Do you think she’ll do it?

Oh, Jennifer Aniston. She had such a bad rap as a serial dater and desperate harpy – that is, before she settled down with fiancé Justin Theroux (which earned her the title of homewrecker, considering he was in another relationship at the time). Still, I can’t help but like her for reasons I can’t explain, so don’t ask me. Perhaps it’s a mix of my attachment to Friends, slight pity/solidarity over the whole Brad/Angelina thing and jealousy over how amazing her hair is at all times. Either way, I’m Team Jen. Is that still a thing, or did it stop in like, 2009?

Anyway, as Jen and Justin prepare to walk down the aisle, she’s apparently tried to nip any problems in the bud before they start by sending the couple to a marriage boot camp, where according to Grazia, they had to partake in therapy sessions, couples’ massages and screaming their feelings out. Sounds… fun? A source told the magazine that “she thought it would be a good idea to start married life rid of any problems”.

However, UPDATE! According to HollyScoop, Jen’s rep denied any such boot camp attendance, saying, “It’s all just more rubbish! Not true at all.”

Well, as if they’re going to admit it! But listen, whatever works. We can all use a little therapy sometimes, I guess?

Jennifer Aniston raised eyebrows at her engagement party with fiance Justin Theroux, 41, last Sunday, when she passed up on the chance to enjoy her favourite alcoholic drinks and stayed well away from the raw fish on the giant sushi platter. The actress has also cleared some of her work for next year from her schedule.

And now these pictures of Jen wrapped up in bulky clothes have emerged, many people Stateside believe she’ll be making an announcement any day now. At 43, Jen’s biological clock has been ticking louder and she will finally catchup with her old Friends Courteney Cox,48, who has an eight year old daughter, Coco, and Lisa Kudrow, 49, who has a 14-year-old son, Julian.

Jen and Justin are due to marry at the end of the year after getting engaged in August, so any potential addition can only be an added bonus.

A source said: “Jen loves a party, so it was definitely noticed at her engagement event that she was only on water. People have also been commenting on her changing her work plans for the foreseeable future – she said it was to concentrate on planning the wedding and to be closer Justin, but now it’s being suggested it’s to make way for a baby. It would be a fantastic piece of news for the couple to end the year on – she seems so happy recently.”

Jennifer pulled out of her involvement in the film Getting Rid of Matthew last month and now it’s been reported that she no longer will be appearing in Miss You Already, which was due to be filmed in London.

Jennifer has previously said she can’t wait to be a mum: “I’ll be singing from the mountain top. Let me have the moment where I get to say, yes, in fact, I’m having a baby. I just want to say, “Everybody, relax! It’s going to happen”.”

Alright, you guys. Is this special lady pregnant or not? Because really, putting any and all negative personal feelings about Jennifer Aniston aside, don’t you think it would be a pretty nice thing for her to finally have that baby she’s always wanted? Wouldn’t that make you feel like the world is kind of complete all at once? I know even in the cold, pitted cockles of my heart, I’d smile. Even just a little bit and if it were just because the baby ended up with Justin Theroux’s Botox brow.

Yeah, I think Aniston might actually be pregnant this time, and even though she kind of makes me want to scratch my own eyes out (it’s either that or dust and/or pet dander allergens, I don’t know) sometimes, I think it’d be a really, really nice thing for her to have a baby. I mean, aside from debilitating self-esteem issues, she seems like a nice person. She’d be a nice mom, too, I’ll bet, when she isn’t freaking the kid out by crying all night long over Daddy’s “long business trips” that he has to take every couple of weeks. That’s probably a good way to f-ck a kid’s life up, I’ll bet.

Jennifer Aniston—pregnant or what?

“I was impressed. I had no idea, and I had no idea what I wanted. He just knows what I like. … [He] worked with the girls that I have worked with for years and years and years, so he kind of was picking the specialists’ brains. He kept it within a very small circle of people. It was one of the sneakiest jobs I’ve ever seen, actually. It’s hard to pull one over on me where I’m not like, ‘Hmm, you’re acting really strange.’ It was … a very covert operation.”

I know, I know; I rag on Jennifer Aniston a lot, and while that’s not fair, I actually have a very, very good reason for doing so: I don’t like her. That’s pretty much about it.

Also? I don’t think there’s very many people out there who thought that Jennifer Aniston getting engaged (!) was big, big news. I mean, OK. Sure. She’s A-list, I guess, but it’s not like the craziness that happened when—pardon the comparison—Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie finally got engaged. I mean, people flipped shit over that, but Jennifer here? It’s like she’s trying to hard to keep up and be relevant, and it’s just not happening anymore. I mean, Chelsea Handler’s show, for crying out loud. You’d think she’d be all over CNN or ‘Ellen’ or whatever before she’d come out and Make the Big, Official Announcement that she’s finally engaged again.

And she did it for Chelsea Handler, which is appropriate, since Chels and Jen-girl are BFFs and Jennifer knew that Chelsea wouldn’t want to bitch-slap her like most other interviewers would. And, you know, audience members. Or whatever.

There’s not really much else to this video aside from the fact that Jennifer was overcome with tears when Chelsea brought up her new-ish engagement, and a phenomenal use of the word “verklempt,” which means, if you were unaware, “choked with emotion.”

Don’t know about you guys, but I’d like to choke something else.

Also, bummer for Jennifer Aniston, because not only did I forget she got engaged, I forgot that we seen the ring yet. Here’s another shot of Jen oh-so-casually putting her ring on display, neither intentionally nor knowing she was in the presence of a photographer:

What do you guys think? Gaudy as hell or, you know, “tasteful and demure”?