I love him so much, dating him might be weird! We’re just really close friends. [We] have always had a great chemistry together.
—Jennie Garth on what it’d be like to date the man that she just loves so much. But more importantly, is Luke Perry bad enough of a boy for her? And will Peter Facinelli be jealous enough? I mean, his new girlfriend seems to be doing enough gushing on her own, which means they’re probably pretty happy together, so would he, like, even care?
So many questions, guys. So many.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t care much for either one of them, but hell’s bells, the sure looked pretty hot, huh?
The GQ Men of the Year Awards happened last night, and because I’m positive that you’re just dying to know who won, I’ll indulge your whims and … well, I’ll tell you. Here’s the official list:
International Breakthrough Man: Chris Hemsworth
Designers of the Year: Dolce & Gabbana
Politician of the Year: Boris Johnson
Chef of the Year: Wolfgang Puck
Sportsman of the Year: Didier Drogba
Inspiration of the Year: Sir Salman Rushdie
Legend: Sir Tom Jones
Solo Artist: Tinie Tempah
Writer of the Year: Aaron Sorkin
Outstanding Achievement: Gary Barlow
Most Stylish Man: Dermot O’Leary
TV Personality: Damian Lewis
International Man: John Slattery
Icon of the Year: Robbie Williams
Woman of the Year: Lana Del Rey
Team of the Year: Team GB
Lifetime Achievement: Bradley Wiggins
Comedian of the Year: Sacha Baron Cohen
Entrepreneurs: Chris Corbin and Jeremy King
Actor of the Year: Michael Fassbender
And while that’s all important because, you know, men, I’m more interested in finding out who wore the warm shade of red/coral better—Rihanna or Jennie Garth? Moreover, who do you prefer?
“I only like guys that are not nice. … It’s not like I want somebody to treat me badly. I want somebody who looks like they could treat me badly, but then really treats me really good. [I want a man who's] tall, a bad boy, tattooed and financially secure…and has to like sex!”
Isn’t that kind of like what Sandra Bullock said about Jesse James all those years ago? Because I think it is. Also, Peter Facinelli allegedly cheated on Jennie Garth. How much “badder” does she want—does she want to be slapped around and used as a urinal or something? Or is she insinuating that she wants Luke Perry again after all these years, because we all know how “bad” of a boy he was on 90210.
I don’t know. I just don’t get these women who say, “Oooh, yes, I want a BAD BOY. I want a boy (? and who really wants a BOY, anyway; f-ck that noise, I want a MAN) who’s all rough and gruff and blah blah blah and then I’m going to be all SURPRISED and DEVASTATED when that bad boy actually turns out to be legitimately bad and screws me over and drains my bank account and then fantasy of the bad boy being all soft and cuddly like a teddy bear inside, you know, just how they are in all those romance books I read on the regular, is DEAD and I can’t even move ON with my life.” I think that’s really a bunch of shit, to be honest.
Jennie Garth? If that’s you? I don’t know what to tell you aside from “Grow up.” That’d probably be my best advice in this department.