Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Janeane Garofalo

Janeane Garofolo is Paranoid Delusional, Political, and Hates Hairless Vaginas

The video speaks for itself. Loudly.

After watching, what have you learned, boys and girls?

1. Your computer is spying on you. The government is probably at your back door right now, installing fiber-optic cameras that will track your every move. Beware.

2. Anyone with fashion — and grooming sense — should, you know, take this very seriously. Because it’s coming from Janeane Garofalo, and she appears to be the pinnacle of proper grooming. That, and you’re a child molester if you like well-groomed, non-bushy, non-invasive nether regions.

3. Liberal government politics liberal politics you aren’t listening to me politics I’m liberal don’t you know a very staunch staunch liberal with a lot of government liberal political activism look at me politics blah blah blah.

Great lesson, huh?

Late-Night Links

Heather Mills kicks the paparazzi’s ass. Literally. [Ninja Dude]

David Arquette likes watching his wife make out with Jen Aniston. How is this news? [Glitterati]

Beyonce photo gallery. []

In college, my friends and I used to play the Movie Title Game. One person comes up with a ridiculous scenario and/or ridiculous pairings of actors, and the other contestants determine the appropriately hilarious title for said film. David Spade is a grocery bagger at Ralph’s? Paper or Spastic? Get it? Okay. So Mark-Paul Gosselaar is a hot-shot lawyer who decides to become an L.A. public defender. His partner? Janeane Garofalo. Go. [Pajiba]

Beyonce does the cover of Sports Illustrated. [Egotastic]

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy got matching hair cuts, which is totally creepier than his new movie is going to be. [A Socialite’s Life]

The set of Grey’s Anatomy has returned to normal. They’re getting into fistfights again. [Cele|bitchy]

American Idol claims another marriage. [PhillyBurbs]