Got a Tip? Help us Beet Off!

Jamie Spears

1Jamie Lynn Spears “Looks Up” to Britney

Hm. Cute. Jamie Lynn Spears, unlike her big sister, can kind of sing! And by “kind of,” I mean “with the help of heavy, overpowering harmonies” and “low volume.” OK now. I’m going to seriously try to put away all snark for a few minutes, because honestly, the song itself is really sweet, and it’s definitely a tender moment here, guys. Let’s try to recognize, huh?

Ahem. Lyrics, please:

Scared little girl living on a big old world
You’ve outgrown your room
It all happened way too soon

They took away your innocence,
But we’ve still got a strong defense.
If I didn’t get sieved in this,
I’d be lonely.

So whether you’re a blue sky smiling
Or whether you’re a grey sky crying
I look up to you
I look up to you

Whether you’re the sunlight shining down
Or you hide behind a cloud
I look up to you
I look up to you

How do you repay a love song by the grave?
You hold out your hand and send me to sleep
But we won’t let it get the best of us,
We won’t fade away like dirt road dust
Cuz no matter what love still remains

So whether you’re a blue sky smiling
Or whether you’re a grey sky crying
I look up to you
I look up to you

Whether you’re the sunlight shining down
Or you hide behind a cloud
I look up to you
I look up to you

Southern days
Your silly face
In our memories they can’t replace.
No one else can take their place
But you

So whether you’re a blue sky smiling
Or whether you’re a grey sky crying
I look up to you
I look up to you

Whether you’re the sunlight shining down
Or you hide behind a cloud
I look up to you
I look up to you

Scared little girl living in a big old world

That’s actually … it’s really sweet, you know. And one can only assume that it’s about Britney (because it’d be way too morbid to assume that it’s about Jamie Lynn‘s daughter, Maddie, and it’s definitely not about total-f-cking-wacko Mother Spears, because she’s just an ass on legs), and if you watched the video, you probably heard her say in the very beginning, “You can imagine who I wrote it about.” I think that kind of speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Also, Jamie Lynn here looks and sounds so much like the old Britney we used to know and love so much that it’s almost breathtaking. And eerie. Definitely eerie.

June 15, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah

12Britney’s Ready to Stop Being Baby-Sat

Britney Spears was due in court today for a meeting with the commissioner who wants to check up on her progress regarding her conservatorship. Because TMZ reported the story early and the paparazzi is rabid, Britney’s meeting was cancelled. While Britney seems to be doing much better and wants to (amicably) end the conservatorship that puts her father in charge of her, no papers have been filed or requests have been made.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Jamie Spears, by the way? Clearly his influence in Britney’s life has been major the last couple of years. While she’s never going to be the Britney that we used to know, her parenting and mental health have improved greatly and her last album/tour was an overall success. Naysayers will point to the fact that it’s not normal to need your father to take control of your life and finances in your mid-20s when you’re a twice-divorced parent, but nothing about Britney’s life has been normal. If Lindsay Lohan or any other troubled young celebrity had a parent spend the time and energy on them the way Britney’s father did, they might just have the same kind of comeback.

January 15, 2010 at 3:08 pm by Molls

11Britney’s Dancers Fired for Drug Use???


The Daily Mail is reporting that Jamie Spears gave three of Britney “My Pussy Is Hanging Out” Spears’ tour dancers the boot because they were caught using drugs.

“They begged to be given a second chance but were shown the door,” said a source. “But the show must go on and such behaviour won’t be tolerated. The remaining dancers have been read the riot act. They have been told that if they know of drugs being used they must come clean or face the boot themselves.”

Other sources report that the rules for the tour dancers are “beyond strict.”


Mr. Spears is SERIOUS about keeping his daughter clean.

Good for him!

March 10, 2009 at 8:55 am by Evil Beet

4Playing Nice for the Kids

They’ve been divorced for awhile now — and, from what I can tell, Britney still hates her mother — but Jamie Spears and Lynne Spears were spotted out and about together in NYC on Monday night, where Britney was promoting her new album.

Go away, Lynne! You’re nothing but TROUBLE for Britney. And I STILL can’t believe you wrote that damn book about raising Britney and Jamie-Lynn. Capitalizing on the personal and emotional struggles of your children when the wounds are still fresh?? Disgusting. Piss off.


December 3, 2008 at 3:56 pm by Evil Beet

5The World Is Still Safe: Britney Spears’ Dad to Retain Conservatorship

Britney Spears and Father Jamie Go to the Bank, Pictures, Photos

There was a hearing today to determine whether or not Jamie Spears would retain his conservatorship over Britney moving forward, and a court decided that, thank goodness, he will.

The conservatorship will stay in place until at least December 31 of this year.

This is probably a good thing for Britney and the rest of the world in general. It’s just a very sad thing if you were holding your breath for new photos of Britney’s Britney. And by that second “Britney” I of course mean “vagina.” Ever since Lauren Conrad was all like “I just saw Lo’s Britney!” on The Hills I have totally adopted use of that word. I lovelovelove it. When I’m trying to seduce a man, I run my fingers up and down his chest and say “Hey, baby, wanna see my Britney?” This is probably why I never succeed in seducing a man. That and the Living with Herpes book my father super-glued to my nightstand while he was visiting. Cute, Dad. Real cute. Why don’t you just go get yourself a conservatorship if you care so much?

July 31, 2008 at 11:49 am by Evil Beet

3Papa Spears in Tears at the Hospital

Britney Spears’ Father Dad Jamie Spears, Pictures, Photos

Man, this is a tough week for the Spears family.

People is reporting that Jamie Spears, Britney’s dad, broke into tears shortly after her discharge Saturday morning.

“Jamie was really upset,” a source tells People, “He was in tears. When he got to the house and realized the situation there, it broke him down.”

Dr. Phil McGraw – whom Jamie considers “a god,” the source says – advised her father while at the hospital. He told Spears that his daughter’s release was “one of the worst decisions that could have been made.”

January 5, 2008 at 5:58 pm by Evil Beet