Ladies across the world started losing their mind yesterday when it was reported that Jamie Dornan is already sick of the whole Fifty Shades of Grey disaster and wanted O-U-T of both of the franchise’s future installments. This news didn’t sit well with many, especially considering the first movie is still in theatres and one would assume the studio would like it to keep making big box office bucks. Not exactly great timing for your lead star to admit how much it sucks, eh?
All I have to say is, I sure feel bad for Jamie’s publicist, who’s no doubt been tasked with fixing this whole mess before it goes any further. The statement from Camp Jamie is here and in it, we’re promised that he’ll be back as Christian Grey… if only they’ll have him!
“Jamie is delighted that the film is breaking box office records worldwide and whilst the studio has not made any formal announcements about sequels, he is looking forward to making the next film,” his rep told Us Weekly
Right, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you believe this bullshit? Jamie Dornan is still in the midst of promoting this shit-show and he’s contractually obligated to show up and seem remotely interested (a tall order, from the looks of things thus far). It’s not really a great time to say that you can’t be bothered to finish off the trilogy, is it?
What do you think?
Will Jamie Dornan come back for the next 'Fifty Shades' movie?
The actor is thought to have stopped his brief relationship with the films early because his wife doesn’t want him to star in any more, it has been claimed.
Actress Amelia Warner, who has a 15-month-old daughter with the star, is said to be unhappy with him acting out the explicit sex scenes in the controversial film.
And Jamie, from Holywood, Co Down, has been left reeling by a barrage of scathing reviews for the movie adaptation of the risque S&M book.
Australian magazine NW claims the 32-year-old has told film bosses he won’t be back as kinky businessman Christian Grey for parts two and three.
While it might be true that Jamie’s wife isn’t really feeling the role, I feel like it’s far more likely that Jamie himself is sick of the bullshit – frankly, I think he probably was sick of it the second the ink dried on the contract. He actually IS a decent actor – again, see The Fall if you want to see the scope of his skills – so it was a bit disheartening to discover he’d taken on the roll at all. I know money talks, but absolute bullshit walks, and Fifty Shades certainly qualifies as bullshit (and that’s being kind).
What will be the biggest joke is that they’ll still make the second and third movies with another actor. Dakota Johnson will stay, of course, because she’s got the personality of wet cardboard and as much chance of getting a decent role otherwise as I have of being Taylor Swift‘s next BFF. In other words, she’s there to stay – how hard is it to bite your lip, anyway?
Book your tickets and stash an extra pair of underwear in your handbags, ladies, because Fifty Shades of Grey is hitting theatres this Saturday, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Because, you know, nothing says romance like a glorified tale of abusive man and a woman with no self-worth! Yahoo! Not to mention two actors who can’t stand each other and have zero chemistry!
Poor Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson they thought it’d just be some easy money and realized just a second too late that uh, you know, it’s probably the worst thing they could have ever done. Now they have to do interviews nonstop and be asked about their favourite sex positions and like, pose naked for magazines and actually simulate penetration, when it comes to W Magazine‘s March 2015 issue. Yikes.
More scans are behind the cut since many are NSFW, but frankly, they should be safe for work because they’re the most clinical, least sexy things I’ve ever seen. The one where they’re actually apparently having sex? I mean, the blank look on both of their faces would make any woman (with a brain) dry as a desert, but whatever. I particularly enjoy the second one, where Jamie’s face is the epitome of “Kill me now!”. Enjoy – and thanks to the Twitter follower who felt the need to watermark every one of their scans for scanning them to begin with.
In case you were curious and hadn’t already seen the news, it’s not just the 50 Shades of Grey movie that’s a complete and utter mess, but also the cast and crew. Turns out, stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson can’t stand each other in real life, which translates to having zero chemistry on screen. Oh, and director Sam Taylor-Johnson and the book’s author E.L. James were at odds the entire time the thing was filming. Sounds like a real party!
Now that the press tour has started for the movie’s release, Jamie and Dakota have been put on the spot, and the seem fucking miserable about the whole affair. A perfect example of this came in the form of a new Glamour behind-the-scenes Q&A about the film, where both stars look like they’d honestly rather be anywhere else but answering fan-asked questions on an iPad floating between their two heads:
It’s bad. It’s incredibly bad. You need to head over to Defamer to look at the exhaustive list of TERRIBLE press these two have done, because it is indeed exhaustive and really ridiculous. Why anyone wants to see this shit in general is beyond me, but when you consider the stars are people who can’t stand each other or the movie they’re in, it makes it even less appealing than it already was.
Oh, and Jamie Dornan is too good for this shit. Anyone who’s watched The Fall knows that. What possessed him to do this (money?) is beyond me, but it was a very clear mistake and something tells me he realized that just a split second too late.
Jamie Dornan freaks my beans (and not in the nether regions, as many seem to experience). After watching him for two seasons in The Fall, I can’t look at him and think anything other than “freak alert” – which is I suppose why he’s a perfect fit for the role of Christian Grey in Fifty Shades.
Speaking of his role in the Twilight-fanfic-cum (ahem)-housewife-erotica, Jamie knows why some people aren’t all that fond of the story and find it kind of sexist, but he still wants to set the record straight (via Elle UK):
“The love story is more important than the BDSM aspect. I mean, we are going to tell a love story, you know, it can’t just be what happens in the Red Room, that’s not a film. There’s so much more going on than that.”
“I can understand why people say tying a woman up and spanking her is misogynistic. But actually, more men are submissives than women. Very powerful men. It’s a far bigger scene than I imagined: in pretty much any city in the world that you could name, people want to get spanked with a paddle with studs on it.”
Well, I’m sure he did lots of research and knows what he’s talking about. Ahem.
Fifty Shades of Grey comes out on Valentine’s Day – will you be watching it?
Also, because I’m kind and generous, I’m tucking a naked picture of Jamie Dornan’s ass behind the cut. WHY IS IT SO PERT AND ROUND? That is a lady’s ass if ever I saw one. But uh… Happy New Year!
We already knew that the 50 Shades of Grey movie was going to suck because a) the story itself sucks and b) they’re taking out all the rough sex, which was, you know, kinda the point of the book series. Well, now it gets even realer for those hoping for something to touch themselves to: Jamie Dornan won’t be showing his penis as Christian Grey. Oh, dear.
When asked how graphic the film is, he pauses, weighs his answer. “You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous, and ugly, and graphic.”
So no sex then? “Sam is a very bright woman, so there might be some suggestive elements to it, but I haven’t seen it at this stage, so it is hard for me to say. I’m aware of what we shot, and it wasn’t as if we shot a film without any action.”
Was he completely in the nude? “There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um…”
Todger? He laughs. “Yeah, my todger.”
Not like Ewan McGregor, then. He has it written into his contracts that his must be seen, at every possible opportunity. The laugh again. “Does he? Well, maybe Ewan has a more impressive girth.”
Always impressive when a grown man can’t seem to use the word “penis”, but whatever. I’m not quite sure how they’re going to fill 2 hours of screentime considering they seem to have cut out everything from the book, but who knows. I’m surprised this thing isn’t going to have a PG-13 rating, from all the “news” we’ve been hearing about it.
50 Shades of Grey isn’t coming out in theatres until next year, but stars Jamie Dornan and that other girl (Dakota Johnson) have to keep interest up. With that in mind, Jamie shared the above photo on Instagram this past week and everyone was going nuts over it (no pun intended).
I know I’m kinda not the target audience here, but like… no thanks. There’s nothing sexy or intriguing about this, or him, so I’m not getting all the hype. I’m sure it’ll make millions at the box office, though. Housewives are bored and horny, so it’ll do well.