Oz the Great and Powerful is probably going to be really good in a way that’s completely disconnected from the original Wizard of Oz and that’s okay. I mean, come on – admitted professional deep-throater James Franco as the Wizard? Michelle Williams, Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz? I’m going to see it (or download it), for sure.
One thing that will definitely not be great about it is that Mariah Carey is doing the theme song. It’s a new track called ‘Almost Home’ that sounds like a demo she would have recorded in 1987 before getting a deal and a decent producer. While the full thing won’t be out until tomorrow, you can listen to a 30 second preview below:
February 18, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer
I hesitate to do this write-up during daylight hours (or, you know, at all), but James Franco has thrown his common sense into the great beyond and given an interview to Details in which he discusses his talent for deep-throating and his disappointment at not having been brave enough to suck on the real thing in The Broken Tower. I’m sorry, okay? There’s literally no way I can do this story without sounding – or feeling – a bit sleazy… and like vomiting in my mouth. Stoner, poet, method actor… is there anything he won’t do?
Take it away, James:
In the first of several three-ways, Franco performs some very impressive deep throat on two of his character’s pistols after the girls turn the tables on him and shove them in his mouth.
“Most people can’t get past that gag reflex at the back of the throat,” I say.
“Guess I’m a natural,” he says with a laugh. “It was my first time.”
“So that wasn’t you in Broken Tower?”
“Oh shit, you’re right!” Franco’s eyes light up. “It wasn’t my first time.”
“You’re known for going the extra mile, but that was, what, a good eight inches?”
He gives me a get-real look. “That was a dildo.” Then he turns that look back on himself, and I see the real James Franco: “If I’d had the guts, it woulda been real.”
First of all, we’re a big supporter of all things LGBTQ here at Evil Beet, so no one’s going to hate on James Franco for what he wants to do behind closed doors. I just think this is so bizarre. So, James Franco is more than a little bi-curious – who cares? Besides, I’m sure he’d have no problem finding a nice bro to take him out and show him a good time. I’m just not sure what this exchange means, why it was said or how I’m going to get my eyebrow to go back down to its regular place rather than risen halfway up my forehead.
February 13, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer
At this point, I think it’s safe to say that James Franco is better than all of us. And I say that without any resentment. It’s just the truth. James Franco is a beautiful, talented soul, and we might as well be made of shit. Truth!
But did you know that James Franco is also better than all other celebrities, and basically every other person working in Hollywood? Specifically, he’s better than everyone who worked on the latest Spiderman movie.
Here’s what he had to say about it:
“Eh,” Franco told MTV with his signature smirk and a shrug. “I mean, they could have strayed a little bit more from the original. It’s like, ‘Why?’ Well, I guess they made a lot of money. Congrats. But good for them…Sam and I moved on, we made Oz.”
See? He was in three Spiderman movies, and one video game, but the difference is that he was in the original. He was in the ORIGINAL Spiderman. The movie that he was in with Tobey Maguire was just so creative, so cutting edge! Like, some regular guy was just being regular, but then he develops all these super powers after getting bitten by some weird spider! How did they even come up with that? SO original.
And I love that last little zinger James Franco made: he moved on to make another astoundingly original movie about some wizard in some magical place called Oz! Flying monkeys, even! Where do they come up with this stuff?!
January 30, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Emily
In high school these girls got mad at me and so they spread this rumor that I was having a gay relationship with one of my closest friends. And they even made up a little dance they would do in the girl’s locker room about me being gay. I still don’t know what the dance was. … It wasn’t something that frightened me, like if people think that, it’s fine. I really don’t care.
—James Franco in an interview with MTV News regarding speculation on his genital orientation.
I guess the only thing that I have to say about his statement is that any grown-ass man who impersonates Justin Bieber definitely has some … I don’t know, “effeminate tendencies.” “Effeminate tendencies” would probably be the best way of putting it. But hey! Points for being real, James Franco. Mad points.
January 24, 2013 at 10:30 am by Sarah
I need you all to stop what you’re doing, right this very second. Stop listening to music. If you have the TV on in the background, turn it off. If you’re at work or otherwise in public, tell everyone to be very quiet. You need to concentrate on a work of brilliance.
James Franco wrote a poem about President Obama titled “Obama in Asheville.” I can’t really describe it, but I’m going to go ahead and show you my favorite stanza:
I met Obama once, in D.C., the Correspondents’ Dinner.
I was the guest of Vanity Fair, guided through D.C. by the wife
Of Christopher Hitchens, when he was alive. We went to Hitch’s place,
He had books from floor to ceiling, and said he had read
To Borges, when he was blind, Old Icelandic Eddas—
Then we waited in a private room with the likes of Tom Cruise,
And Katie Holmes, and Claire Danes. When Obama entered
The crowd converged. Finally, I got to shake his hand,
He knew me from Spider-Man. I asked him for advice,
I was scheduled to give the commencement speech at UCLA
And there were some undergraduate knockers against me;
He had been denied the usual honorary degree by Arizona State
Because he hadn’t accomplished enough, so I wondered
How he dealt with detractors. He smiled his smile and said,
“Humor.” Well he’s damn right, and I wonder how much
That stand-up comedian is laughing in the face
Of this big country. Because he is one man and we are many,
And a great servant of the people—he’s a president, not a king—
And doesn’t need to face what King Charles once faced.
No, seriously, that’s what the whole thing is like. He’s absolutely insufferable, I can’t even believe it. He makes me want to bake my head in the oven. He makes me want to watch Freaks and Geeks and try to figure out how we got here. I kind of can’t stand him, but I love how hard I can’t stand him. Does that make sense?
But look, you have to read the whole thing, ok? Promise? Here it is.
January 21, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Emily
Is it possible that Selena Gomez is going to be an actress? I know that she’s an “actress,” but an actress? A Real Actress? I mean, if I can completely block out the Tweener thing she had/has going on, and the fact that she deflowered Justin Bieber probably, I can see it. Maybe.
As for James Franco, he sure is versatile, isn’t he? I mean, ripping Kevin Federline off so eloquently? That’s what that was supposed to be, right?
And hey. It’s coming out right around Spring Break, and that’s so appropriate.