Today's Evil Beet Gossip
James Franco

James Franco wrote a short story about Lindsay Lohan and published it

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I don’t even have words for the fact that James Franco – the same one who denied having any sexual relationship/encounter with Lindsay Lohan and called her mental for suggesting such a thing – wrote a short story about Lindsay that he then published on Vice’s website. WHY?

It’s written as “fiction” though in a first-person voice suggesting this could be totally true, and it’s called “Bungalow 89″. It’s awful, and in case you want to take my advice and not read the entire thing, here are a few choice selections:

There was a Hollywood girl staying at Chateau Marmont. She had gotten a key to my room from the manager. I heard her put the key into my front door and turn it, but I had slid the dead bolt and that thing—I don’t know what you call it; it’s like a chain but made of two bars—that kept the door from opening.

She said, “James, open the door.”

Across the room was a picture of a boy dressed as a sailor with a red sailor cap, and except for his blondish hair (closer to my brother’s color) he looked like me.

She said, “Open the door, you bookworm punk blogger faggot.”

and

My phone rang. She let it ring until I answered.

“You’re not going to let me sleep, are you?”

“Do you think this is me? Lindsay Lohan. Say it. Say it, like you have ownership. It’s not my name anymore.”

Lindsay Lo-han.”

“I just want to sleep on your couch. I’m lonely.”

“We’re not going to have sex. If you want to come in, I’ll read you a story.”

“A bedtime story?”

“It’s called ‘A Perfect Day for Bananafish.’”

Do you think I’ve created this? This dragon girl, lion girl, Hollywood hellion, terror of Sunset Boulevard, minor in the clubs, Chateau Demon? Do you think this is me?

I mean, I can’t even go on from there, because it’s just so, so bad. What a crock of shit. This whole thing will probably send Lindsay into another downward spiral, of course, as well. Egads.

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James Franco’s bed shot with Keegan Allen was made to “blow up Twitter”

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James Franco should truly be banned from all forms of social media, as he’s proven time and time again that he just can’t be trusted to use it responsibly. You probably remember that late last month, James decided to post a photo of himself in bed with Pretty Little Liars actor Keegan Allen, with both of them appearing naked (or at least shirtless).  He likes to poke fun at some of the past reports about his sexuality, so I didn’t even think much of this, but of course it got him press, which is presumably what he wanted. Well, not even presumably – it was all for attention.

From E! Online:

“I went to go say hey to him in his dressing room,” Allen told me at the Race to Erase MS benefit for the Nancy Davis Foundation for Multiple Sclerosis. “There were a lot of people there and I asked him, ‘What’s the way to do the best selfie in bed?’ and he showed me. And then he climbed in really quickly and he was like, ‘Let’s blow up Twitter for a second.’”

First of all, there are so many things that are weird about this. Why in the hell did Keegan Allen want to do a selfie in bed, and why did he need advice on how to do it? Also, what, did James just turn around and say, “Here, I’ll show you! Let’s take off our shirts and hop into bed together!”? It’s all so bizarre.

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Oh, ew: James Franco posted a nearly naked selfie on Instagram

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James Franco needs to take his creepy shit down about 1,000 notches. I have no idea what’s wrong with him lately (or, you know, at all) but he’s been so over-the-top with insanity that I am starting to feel like this MUST be performance art or something. Right? … Right?

Welp, he’s really taken it to the next level, as you can see above. That’s right – in the wee hours of the night, James Franco posted a nearly naked selfie (which… barf) on Instagram before deleting it shortly after. Was it a mistake? Was he embarrassed? Did a Rihanna fan report him to Instagram? WHO CAN SAY, but I hope this is burned into your nightmares forever, just as it is in mine.

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