Today's Evil Beet Gossip
James Deen

Quotables — James Deen

james deen smoking

“I worked at Starbucks for two years. [Sarcastically] I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I am really good at putting trash bags in trash cans. Like, really good. I was showing off, was pretty much what that was.”

– James Deen in an interview with Vanity Fair, on being seen on the set of The Canyons making sure all the garbage bags were correctly situated in their bins.

Lindsay Lohan’s ‘The Canyons’ Has a Trailer And It’s Awful

Who here is excited to see Lindsay Lohan and James Deen‘s cinematic masterpiece, The Canyons? Come on, don’t be shy, raise those hands! No one? Huh. Odd.

This is apparently a revenge thriller and shout out to IFC Films for a) taking this piece of shit on and b) doing their damndest to make it seem ~artistic~ despite its lead stars being a porn actor and a drug-addled mess. They’ve done such a good job into hoodwinking people into thinking this could actually be the case that they’re having the premiere at Lincoln Center! The world is a funny place.

What do you think of the trailer? Will you see this mess?

WHAT? Lohan’s Trashy “The Canyons” To Premiere At The Esteemed Lincoln Center

lindsay lohan blowing a kiss

Lindsay Lohan and James Deen‘s much talked about The Canyons is finally going to premiere. And the world premiere for this trashy automatic B movie will be at the esteemed Lincoln Center, Manhattan. Here are some things that are held at Lincoln Center:

– New York City Ballet
– The Metropolitan Opera
– The New York Philharmonic Orchestra

And now we can add The Canyons, premiering July 29. I really want to go, lord help me. But there will be other opportunities for me to see this masterpiece. From Newsday:

IFC Films will release “The Canyons” theatrically Aug. 2 in Toronto and at the IFC Center in Greenwich Village, expanding to Los Angeles and other cites the following week. It will also be available on video-on-demand on Aug. 2.

We’re all gonna be okay.

Farrah Abraham Is Pretending She Might Be Pregnant Now and James Deen’s Not Too Happy

farrah abraham

If there’s one thing we should all know by now, it’s that you can’t stop a fame whore from whoring for more fame. You just can’t. After pretending to have a “leaked” sex tape that was actually a full on porno, Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham is now setting the scene by heading to a local drugstore and phoning up the paparazzi so they can “catch” her buying a pregnancy test. Is it total bullshit? Sure is. Is that stopping her? Nope. And her maybe baby’s father and champion porn star James Deen is not at all happy about it.

From Celebuzz:

“To say you’re potentially pregnant is not something to joke about,” Deen told Celebuzz. “When you knowingly involve another human being and a publicity stunt around that, a child is not something to be taken lightly. It’s not a game anymore and it’s really not cool.

“This is a type of publicity I do not agree with and I do not want to participate in. Joking or lying or using pregnancy to get attention and media is not cool. It involves three people’s lives including the potential unborn child. It is not a subject to just throw around.”

And this time he’s not taking it lying down.

“I am taking it seriously enough to research the possibility of someone getting pregnant from anal sex and semen on their face while they are having sex on their period with a sponge inside them,” he added.

“I spoke to the clinic where we both got tested before our scene along with my personal medical doctor regarding the subject.  However, I am more concerned about the fact that Vivid told me she was on birth control.  Had I known she was not taking preventive measures I would have never accepted the scene.”

Deen basically went on to say that if she does end up pregnant, it must be immaculate conception because it’s not his kid. Also, he pretty much expected her to pull a stunt like this and was concerned about it even before shooting with her.

“When Vivid booked me for the scene I had two stipulations before I agreed – one, that she was tested in the exact same way as all the adult film stars and two, that she was on birth control,” Deen said.

He added that he was there when she was tested — and came out clean — and Vivid Entertainment told him she was on the pill.

But it was actually what Abraham said during their scene that got Deen thinking.

“When we first shot the scene within the first 30 seconds she said ‘I want you to cum inside me.’

“So I thought in my head this is the type of behavior that could happen — that she wanted to create a fake pregnancy scam.”

“And I was told she was on birth control, but she’s known for being a Teen Mom so I was a bit concerned.

This is why you don’t do porn with reality stars. Or, you know, at all, but I’m a “modern day feminist” (LOL), so I like to live and let live. We all know Farrah’s not pregnant and if she is, it’s not from boning James Deen. Someone had better call Jeremy Kyle and get that DNA tests poppin’.

James Deen’s Dong Cannot Compete With Jon Hamm’s

james deen

Jon Hamm, as we all know by now, has a large dong. James Deen, porn star, does not, according to Teen Mom Farrah Abraham. lol like you’re the only one who’s seen James Deen naked and can make that assessment, but okay.

Farrah, probably all miffed that Mr. Deen openly admitted that their sex tape was actually porn and not a leaked sex tape, retaliated by telling TMZ that Mr. Deen, “had a small penis.”

James Deen responded,

What is her problem???? It is obviously medium sized :)

On the list of things I care about the size of my penis is number 783.

Ahhh, Deeny Boy, you should have stopped with the first statement. As soon as someone says they don’t care about something, they’re making it something they care about.

Anyway, whatever Farrah, you can go home now. No one wants you here.

Dong.

Teen Mom Gets Screwed By James Deen In More Ways Than One

james deen teen mom

James Deen, beloved porn star turned actor turned porn star again, is known for playing it straight-up and not giving a sweet f-ck about his chosen career. So when Teen Mom Farrah Abraham (of the stupid MTV show) tried to pass off a video of her having sex with Mr. Deen as an “oopsie, this wasn’t supposed to be public” leaked sex tape, Mr. Deen was having none of her shenanigans.

From The Hollywood Gossip:

Deen tells TMZ he was contacted by an unidentified porn company to shoot a porno with Farrah Abraham over the weekend, and he did so.

He says the plan, initially, was to pass the porn off as a “sex tape,” but that was all a ruse that fell apart when he and Abraham were seen together.

James Deen and the MTV star were holding hands as they left Vivid Entertainment offices, holding hands, and the Farrah Abraham sex tape jig was up.

He says: “I think what happened is that [the company was] going to pass it off as a ‘sex tape’ and somebody saw us coming out of a building together.”

“People asked me what’s going on … so I was just like ‘we’re making a porno!” Deen won’t say if the “company” was in fact Vivid, but it looks like it.

Despite Farrah’s bogus protests – calling the reports “shocking” (and saying she’s an amazing mother and daughter) – Deen says she was behind it.

“Everybody’s trying to make this a story, but really [Farrah] wanted to make a sex tape,” James added, while reiterating that this is straight up porn.

The rumor is that Farrah was shopping an actual sex tape featuring her and an ex, but that she couldn’t get the proper releases signed and the deal failed.

Hahaha forever. Nice try, sweetie. Guess your music career didn’t work out quite the way you wanted it to. And I don’t EVER call people “sweetie”; that’s how much this annoys me.

HEY, BLIND GOSSIP, WHERE THE HELL IS THIS JOE JONAS SEX TAPE YOU PROMISED US? YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES!

The Canyons Is Coming This Summer

the canyons

We can all let out that collective sigh of relief knowing that Paul Schrader’s film The Canyons written by Bret Easton Ellis and starring James Deen, has been picked up by IFC films this summer. It will “premiere day-and-date and on digital platforms” meaning that you’ll be able to download it (from something like iTunes or OnDemand) the same day it hits theaters. Meaning that I will be having an epic Canyons viewing party in my living room. Meaning that I will be spending a Friday night alone drinking.

via Huffington Post

THE CANYONS, a post-modern story about power and the dark side of Hollywood, centers around a scheming and very wealthy movie producer Christian (Deen) who makes movies to satisfy his father’s demands that he maintain a viable career. Lohan stars as Tara, his girlfriend who’s hiding an affair with an actor from her past. Christian becomes more and more demanding, inviting various sex partners to join him and Tara in his luxurious Malibu Canyon lair. Village Voice lead critic Scott Foundas, recently praised the film saying: “You could almost describe it as a cross between Easton Ellis’s AMERICAN PSYCHO and Schrader’s AMERICAN GIGOLO. These are minor characters on the fringe of the Hollywood scene, all equally desperate and engaging in various forms of psychological and sexual manipulation.”

We’ve all heard so much about the complications involving this film, the cruel things life has thrown in the way of these world-weary actors and filmmaker, whose little film is like “The Little Engine That Could” but with cocaine and boobs. Well, unless something goes horribly wrong, we can all see this masterpiece this summer (at least in the US.)

Oh, and Lindsay Lohan is in the movie too.