I hope you’re not eating your lunch right now, because you’ll probably lose it after this one. Hugh Hefner, Mr. Playboy himself, has revealed that he’s slept with over 1,000 women. Gag me. In an interview with Esquire, the 86-year-old said that while he’s now married to 26-year-old Crystal Harris and plans to remain faithful, he had to make sure he “kept his hand in” (I don’t want to think about what) when he was single.
“How could I possibly know? Over a thousand, I’m sure,” the mogul says of the number of ladies he’s taken to bed. “There were chunks of my life when I was married, and when I was married I never cheated. But I made up for it when I wasn’t married. You have to keep your hand in.”
Nope. I mean, I know Hugh Hefner wasn’t always old, but he has always been a bit skeevy, hence the founding of Playboy to begin with. He pays women to live in his house and get on top of him when he wants a little action. If that doesn’t seem weird to you, then we grew up in very different ways. On the other hand, the Playboy bunnies seem pretty happy making bank and riding an old dude and my feminist side doesn’t look down upon sex workers, so everyone knock yourselves out, I guess. But I still think it says something when your own wife – 60 years your junior – would rather play board games than be intimate with you.
Kendra Wilkinson used to lay it on Hugh Hefner in a naked way back in her Playboy days and they’ve remained good friends since all the sexin’ stopped. So Kendra was none too pleased when Pepaw’s now-wife Crystal Harris left him at the altar the first time they were due to get married. In fact, she was so pissed about it, she actually wanted to kill the 26-year-old.
From Montana’s Big J Radio Show (via DigitalSpy):
“I got pissed off when she hurt him and he can’t go around thinking that people will automatically love her, especially after that. That pissed everybody off, that she would just leave him and dump him, use him and abuse him.
“Of course, someone like me, I wanted to kill her. So now he’s trying to get people to love her again.”
I don’t know if anyone will ever really love Crystal Harris (or Hugh Hefner, for that matter). I’m all for love across the generations, but considering wifey would rather play Uno than have sex with her husband less than a year after they married, I doubt there’s a deep soul connection there.
And yo, Kendra needs to get it together. Is Crystal “using and abusing” Hugh for his truckloads of cash? Most likely. But uh, isn’t he using her for her youthful lady bits? It all ain’t right.
It’s been less than a year since Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris finally tied the knot (after she unsuccessfully tried to run away) and to everyone’s shock, I’m sure, 26-year-old Crystal isn’t so keen on having sex with her 86-year-old husband. While she could only say “no comment” when asked if they are intimate, she did seem way too relieved as she explained that Hef would rather play board games than do the nasty.
From HuffPost Live:
“I feel like since Hef is older now and he’s had… the phases of all the girlfriends and all that kind of stuff… I feel now is more, you know, like cuddling up and watching a movie or playing backgammon. We play Uno with the girls.”
Crystal also backtracked a bit on her previous comments that the Playboy mogul is a “two second man“, blaming it on a bad publicist and probably the truth since he’s old as dirt.
“When I first left, I did some interviews I shouldn’t have done. I was mad. It was a breakup, and I shouldn’t have done some of the things. At the time I had a bad publicist, so things did get switched and turned around.”
Well, okay. I can’t really talk about this much more because I just ate lunch and I might vomit even thinking of Hef’s wrinkly ass going at it with anyone, let alone a girl young enough to be his granddaughter, but I think Crystal has said all there is to say, anyway.