Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Honey Boo Boo

Honey Boo Boo’s parents Mama June and Sugar Bear have split!

mama june sugar bear honey boo boo

Nooooo! How could this be happening?! Honey Boo Boo‘s parents, Mama June and Sugar Bear, have split! They really seemed to love each other and were living the hillbilly dream… so what could have gone wrong? Well, Sugar Bear is a cheating bastard who has been posting ads on dating websites to find women!!

From TMZ:

We’re told Mama June has repeatedly caught Sugar Bear trolling on online dating sites. One of them is, in which Sugar Bear — with the handle Georgiafighter31054 — says “i love to hunt fish and ride 4wheelers and have a good time.  i luve muddy Boggs and love to ride in the mudd.”

Mama June has stopped wearing her wedding ring (technically the couple was never married, but they did have a commitment ceremony).

Our sources say Mama June plans on taking the kids and moving out — once the latest round of filming “Here Comes Boo Boo” is done … so she can be closer to her relatives.  She hasn’t fully decided on the move.

We’re told the producers of the show are scrambling to try and figure out what’s next.

June and Sugar Bear tell TMZ, “Sugar Bear and I have decided to take some time apart to figure out some things in our relationship.  We are taking things day by day but regardless of what happens the girls will always be our #1 priority.  We want to thank ya’ll for your support.”

First of all, what the fuck, Sugar Bear? Not feeling that shit. Also, way to go, Mama June. At least SOMEBODY has some self-respect here. She could teach Selena Gomez a few lessons, I’d say.

I love these as a family, but hell to the no on Sugar Bear trolling the dating sites. What, because he’s got a TLC show now, he thinks he’s hot shit? BZZZ, WRONG. I’m so glad June didn’t stay with him out of fear of messing up the show or whatever. Give her all the shit you want, but she’s repeatedly proven how awesome she is (see: how she’s invested the show money for the kids, etc.).

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Honey Boo Boo’s Mama June “Shocked” By 100lb Weight Loss

mama june

Don’t even get me started defending Honey Boo Boo or that whole family, because I will not stop until everyone who talks shit about this family shuts the hell up and realises their own ignorance. What many see as an obese redneck family with no class or sophistication is actually a really loving clan led by the incredibly intelligent and down-to-earth Mama June who is smart enough to have put the money from their TLC reality series away for her kids’ future instead of squandering it on some real bullshit. The show doesn’t have to be your cup of tea – I don’t take particular joy in watching them throw spaghetti strands at the wall or having fart contests – but I certainly don’t feel the need to put them down.

Anyhoo, Mama June – often criticised for her appearance, as happens – has dropped over 100lbs over the past couple of years without doing much besides becoming more active and changing her eating habits a bit. Here’s what she had to say to Access Hollywood (via DS):

“When I got on the scale, I was very, very shocked. I used to weigh close to 400lbs.

“Do I feel better? Yes, in a way I [do]. I’m more happy with myself. I try to tell people, be happy with you [no] matter what people say.”

Get it, Mama June! She also said she gets a lot of attention from men now, since many like “thick girls”. LOL. Don’t worry, she’ll never cheat on Sugar bear.

Check out Mama June’s tips for what to do with ketchup and cheese balls below:

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Introduces Scratch-And-Sniff TV

mama june here comes honey boo boo

Hey who feels like vomiting today? Great, I have just the thing! Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premieres tonight with a special twist: scratch-and-sniff TV! The TLC nightmare put scratch-and-sniff cards in People and Us Weekly. And there’s a special method to this madness. From Business Week:

According to TLC, it works like this: When the show flashes numbers onscreen during the episode, viewers will be instructed to smell a correspondingly numbered card. [...] if you scratch the right one during the right scene…you’ll feel like you’re experiencing a fart.

And that’s exactly what I want from my television viewing experience.

While this dastardly show isn’t the first to use Smell-O-Vision, it’s the first show in decades to do it, and the first reality show. Why couldn’t they have done this for Cupcake Wars or Top Chef?

Who would watch and do this? SHOW YOURSELF!

PETA Hates Honey Boo Boo Child

A photo of Honey Boo Boo Child

How horrible, right? How could you hate an innocent little child like Honey Boo Boo? If you don’t like her, fine, or if you think she’s trashy, whatever. I see you up there on your high horse, I get it. But hate? That’s just sad.

It’s because she has a pet chicken. See that photo up there? The chicken’s name is Nugget. And PETA thinks that is the least cool thing to name a pet chicken.  They want her to rename the chicken “Not A Nugget,” which for some reason just isn’t as catchy, and they want Honey Boo Boo to teach her family and all her friends that “they should be nice to chickens by not eating them.”

They also let her know that there are some super tasty vegan-chicken nuggets in grocery stores, which have the fun and deliciousness of chicken nuggets without the slaughter. They sent her some of those nuggets, along with a shirt with a chicken on it that reads “I am not a nugget.”

Oh, PETA. Stay classy.

The Guys from Jersey Shore Have Some Advice for Honey Boo Boo Child

A photo of Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Honey Boo Boo Child

Look, I know some of you will judge me for this, but I love both Jersey Shore and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child, I really, really do. I like Jersey Shore because it’s just a big ol’ hot mess, and I love to watch hot messes from a safe distance, obviously, and I like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child because I think they’re actually a great little family. Sure, they eat roadkill sometimes, and sure, the mom makes spaghetti sauce by melting butter and ketchup in the microwave (no, really), but they have a whole lot of fun together, and they have some really positive views and values that you don’t see a whole lot on television. So yeah, I love them, no apologies.

Keeping that in mind, can you imagine how wonderful it is that most of the men from Jersey Shore got together to throw some advice to little Honey Boo Boo Child? Hint: it’s very wonderful.

“Run with it, run with it, run with it!” Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio, 32, said earlier today when he and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro stopped by E! News to promote Thursday’s premiere of the sixth and final season of Jersey Shore. “Embrace it! Embrace it and go for it.”

The Honey Boo Boo haters remind Ortiz-Magro, 26, of the Shore‘s early days. “She gets the same feedback we got,” he said. “You know, ‘Look at these crazy people! What are they doing?’ Enjoy it while you can…Make the best of it.”

Pauly D warns not to take anything too personally. “Just push it aside, stay positive,” he said. “That’s what I do.”

And make sure not to forget where you came from.

“I would tell her to have a good support system and try to be grounded,” said Sorrentino, 30, adding, “All of us have a good system when we come home where there’s family and friends and whatnot to ground us to make sure that we stay true to ourselves.”

And call us crazy, but wouldn’t it be fun to see Honey Boo Boo spend a summer in Seaside Heights? “I think she would kill it,” Ortiz-Magro predicted. “She’d be like the new Snooki.”

Ok, so who’s going to start working on the show where Snooki adopts Honey Boo Boo Child? Is someone in the business? Can one of you guys send a fax or something. Thanks!

We Need to Talk About Honey Boo Boo Child Right This Instant

A photo of Honey Boo Boo Child

Have you guys been watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on TLC? Oh god, I hope so. If not, here’s a real quick rundown: Honey Boo Boo is the nickname of a little girl from Georgia named Alana, and she was on Toddlers and Tiaras with her mom, June, and they were truly a sight to behold. They got a lot of press because of Honey Boo Boo’s “go go juice,” a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew that her mom gives her sometimes to perk her up for pageants. And with every interview, they captured the hearts of America, and they got their very own reality show. And it’s amazing.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is everything you could want in a reality show: it’s really, really entertaining, but you’ll feel guilty and just a little bit dirty for watching it. In just two images, here’s essentially all you need to know about the show:

Are we all caught up? Good, now let’s talk about how this joy was almost destroyed after children’s services came by to pay this family a visit.

From the National Enquirer:

“HONEY BOO BOO” has become an overnight sensation – but the sassy 6-year-old pageant queen almost didn’t have her shot at prime time after charges of child abuse nearly kept TLC’s hit new real­ity show off the air.

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” premiered to huge ratings on Aug. 8. The show follows the lives of the Thomp­son family from rural McIntyre, Ga., including TLC’s new runaway star, Alana, aka “Honey Boo Boo.” The network decided to give the unforgettable little girl her own series after videos of her appearances on the cable network’s “Toddlers & Tiaras” went viral earlier this year.

BUT production of the show nearly came to a screeching halt shortly after filming began in March when investigators from Georgia’s Division of Family and Children Ser­vices made an unannounced visit to the family’s home.

“Honey Boo Boo’s upbringing raised eyebrows with neighbors,” a source told The ENQUIRER. “The parents feed her energy drinks, cheese puffs for breakfast and brag about how they cook roadkill for meals. She even eats roadkill with flies swarming around her head!”

But the authorities didn’t get in­volved until a videotape of Honey Boo Boo dancing for dollars on a ta­ble in a bar was posted online. In the scene, which was not filmed by TLC, mom June defended her daugh­ter’s actions by explaining that it was a college bar, not a “sleazy” one.

Investigators found reason to bring the case to court, but June’s court-appointed at­torney was able to convince the judge to throw it out, and film­ing resumed in May.

The first episode of the show – which showcases a whole lot of belly-slapping and gas-passing – drew an impressive 2.2 million viewers, but it also received a con­siderable amount of criticism.

And that criticism is bound to increase later in the season after Alana’s 17-year-old sister Anna, aka “Chickadee,” gives birth to a baby girl with two right thumbs – and grandma June makes fun of the defect!

“If the family had been charged for having bad taste,” added the source, “the judge would have thrown the book at them!”

I really doubt the bit about the roadkill, but I’m sure everything else is true. This family, you guys. TLC sure hit the trashy reality jackpot with this one. And I LOVE it.