3Helena Bohnam Carter To Play Liz Taylor; Suck It, Lohan

Helena Bohnam Carter, despite looking nothing like Elizabeth Taylor (to quote Bohnam, “I look nothing like her”) but is totally stunning and beautiful in a different way, is going to play her in a film for the BBC. Suck it, Lohan! Titled Burton and Taylor, with Dominic West as Richard Burton, this television film will mainly focus on their relationship in the ’80s. In 1983 Burton and Taylor, 7 years divorced (for the second time), starred in the Broadway play Private Lives. Liz & Dick focused more on their relationship in the ’60s and ’70s and spent about 2 minutes on his death, giving us the amazing scene of Lindsay in a full-on Liz Taylor-White-Diamonds-Commercial-look mourning Burton’s grave.

(This is what I'm talking about. Is this not glorious?)

Look, as bad as that film was, it was also enjoyable. Grant Bowler did a good job of playing the dramatic and hammy Richard Burton, and Lindsay had one really great moment where she delivered a line really well while actually sounding and laughing like Elizabeth Taylor. The costumes were enchanting and Creed from The Office was in it. So the whole thing wasn’t a total waste.

I think we can all agree without question though that Ms. Helena Bee Cee will do a far better job, because of, you know, the ability to act. Perhaps the most shocking thing about this film is that Tim Burton isn’t working on it. The film will air sometime in the fall.

February 12, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives