Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Heather Mills




“Beatrice questions everybody who eats animals  When we were in the south of France, there was a buffet for kids, and by the end of the week no one would sit near us because she would go over and say, ‘Why are you eating that cow’s bottom?’ or ‘Oh, look at that little shrimp with little eyes.’”

Heather Mills, confirming that she’s raising her 5-year-old vegan daughter to be a total pain in the ass to the general public.

Words I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say: Heather Mills Signs On With Burger King


Yep, our favorite mono-legged vegan has crawled into bed with Burger King as spokesperson to promote their new vegetarian burger.  In exchange for services provided, BK is leaving $6M on the ethical (as long as ethics don’t include taking money from burger-flinging fast food chains) meat shunner’s nightstand.  And by “shunned meat”, I mean Paul McCartney’s dick.

A spokesperson for Heather only had this to say:  “Heather has been a vegan ever since she lost her leg and she has been developing and refining vegan recipes ever since.”

I can’t fathom the dark depression I would plunge into if I lost a leg.  The only thing more devastating than losing a limb?  Losing bacon.

Vegan Spelt Bread Can Be Used As A Deadly Weapon


Heather Mills appeared today at the Healthy Meal Cook-A-Thon in New York.  She spent her time teaching apprentices how to prepare healthy, vegan meals.  She’s not just a gold digger; she’s a chef!  What do you think of her new hairdo?  Most people look better with less hair in my opinion. 

As you know, I’m not a huge fan of macrobiotic or vegan diets due to my close and personal relationship with cheese and general happiness.  It appears that the dude in the background of the main picture shares my sentiments.  Though I’ll never be vegan, I will say that whatever she has on that spoon looks vaguely like it once had a face.  Impressive.