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Heather Locklear

Heather Locklear Brings the Sadness

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Hey, did you guys know that Heather Locklear, like, OD’d sometime over the last few weeks? She did. I knew it, but aside from when she played Amanda Woodward on the original Melrose Place, I didn’t really have an interest in her. And I still don’t, but I wanted to talk about how sad it’s got to be lately to be Heather Locklear and the segueway of her re-decline is probably a good place to start. She apparently overdosed on prescription pills and alcohol sometime earlier in the month, stayed in intensive care for a few days, and was only just released from the hospital last week. Despite tons of stuff already going down in her life (her recent breakup with on-again, off-again fiance Jack Wagner and general career suckage), her rep insists that the overdose was not intentional and was not a cry for help. Um, OK?

From Us Weekly, a full outline of what Heather’s been dealing with over the last few months:

It was never too early to drink for Heather Locklear. About twice a week, she would leave her house in Westlake Village, California, throw on a pair of dark sunglasses and head to her favorite watering hole along. “She come in around 10:30, 11, sit by the bar and have two or three vodkas on the rocks, easy,” an eyewitness tells Us. “She always seemed so sad and lost…”

“Heather has been a mess for the last several months,” says an insider. And her drinking only escalated after she and her beau of four years, Jack Wagner, split in November, calling off their three-month engagement. “She doesn’t get out of bed most days,” says the source. The situation was so dire, in fact, that her daughter, Ava, 14 has been living with her Bon Jovi rocker dad, Locklear’s ex-husband Richie Sambora. Now that Locklear is home from the hospital, says the source, “her family is terrified. They think she’ll hit rock bottom before she finally admits she needs serious help.”

According to sources at People, Heather’s currently weighing her options and deciding whether or not rehab is in the future.

So, why so sad, Heather? I mean, I know that it’s no longer the eighties and you’re not backstage at Bon Jovi shows blowing lines of coke up your nose with $100 bills that you later blow your nose with and then toss in the trash, but it’s still a good time to be alive. Don’t give up just yet, girl. There’s some of that spunky, devious, don’t-get-me-down Amanda left in you somewhere, I just know it. Also – stop with the pills and the booze. That’s just a catastrophe waiting to happen. Again.

Amanda Woodward and Dr. Peter Burns Break It Off

At least that’s who I remember them to be, but then again, they stopped being relevant ten years ago, too, so the fact that I remember them just.  that.  way. is about as surprising as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet.

Heather Locklear, the Xena of Xanax-hoarding, and her long-term boyfriend, Jack Wagner have called it quits after like, thirty-five years of togetherness. In all reality, they dated for about three or something, but when you’re Hollywood’s most boring couple, three seems like what real life might be like for a celebrity.

Locklear claimed that the relationship was taking away from precious time spent with her daughter, but I think she just wanted to sleep more, take more downers and weep at old episodes of Melrose Place.

Sorry, guys.  Break-ups suck, I guess.

Did Heather Get Ashlee Kicked Off Melrose Place?

Heather Locklear's On Set Beef With Ashlee Simpson

There has been endless speculation over the cause of Ashlee Simpson’s departure on the new Melrose Place and while publicly those involved with the show have been saying that it was planned for Ashlee to leave early all along, many are assuming that there’s more to the story. An insider on the set told Star Magazine that there is, in fact, more to Ashlee’s departure than is being said and it apparently has to do with the arrival of another diva: OG Melrose Place star Heather Locklear.

The two are said to have butted heads on set many times. Ashlee was caught whispering things about Heather’s age to others and Heather was fed up with Ashlee’s lack of talent and wannabe diva attitude. The producers, knowing that Heather was bound to bring some new eyes to the show and boost ratings, made the executive decision to cut Ashlee and her co-star Colin Egglesfield in order to keep Heather around.

While I can see Ashlee’s diva schtick being both obnoxious and unwarranted, I do have to say that I think Heather has to have a pretty high opinion of herself if she thinks she can get employed anywhere other than the Melrose Place set. Let’s face it: After her last few years in the headlines, she’s not exactly A-list and I can’t think of the last time that she did anything reasonable. Plus, this quote from the set insider, “Heather was jealous of Ashlee immediately. She knew Ashlee was one of the bigger names on set, and she wanted her gone so she could make it her show. Heather is very political and calculating…”, not only makes Heather sound like a bully, but it seems kind of pathetic.

Either way, I can’t imagine that this show is going to be around long enough for it to make a huge impact on either actresses career.