Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Heather Graham

Wouldn’t You Try Harder For Something Called ‘The Critic’s Choice Awards’?

Aight, aight. So I always have to admit whenever I critique people’s fashion that I really have no business doing so. I am wearing flared jeans as I write this. Yes, flared. They’re old and they’re really comfortable and you would wear them too if you didn’t have a will to live. ANYWAY! That being said, I was pretty disappointed across the board by the dress selections last night at The Critic’s Choice Awards. With the exception of a couple (Heather Graham, Emily Blunt, Amy Poehler), everyone looked like they bought their dress of the rack at Nordstrom in the really fancy section last minute. Lots of ill-fitting garments, lots of things that looked like last season’s trends or generally unstylish (from the dress to the shoes, I beg you to tell me: What the fuck is Sandy B. wearing in the photo above? Are those hooves?) Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, or maybe I should consider that the Golden Globes are on Sunday and everyone’s saving their pretty for that, but you let me know what you think in the comments…

Heather Graham Takes Humanitarianism To New Heights

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Heather Graham makes me feel so inferior.  I consider it a successful day when I get a shower, but The Hangover actress Heather Graham has loftier — literally — goals.  So, while I continue to work on mastering my daily scrub, Graham is working on levitation and learning to fly.  As she explained in a Daily Mail interview, she needs to learn flying so she can travel across cities and oceans and save people from bad fortune.

So far I’ve only succeeded in my dreams. I practice transcendental meditation and there is a phase where you’re meant to lift off the ground. It hasn’t happened yet. I’ll manage it one day. In fact, I’m aiming beyond levitation. I want to be able to fly like a superhero. I won’t be happy until I can fly across oceans and cities, saving people from being murdered.

Let me get this straight — Heather Graham won’t be happy until she accomplishes transatlantic flight without an aircraft?  I predict it’s going to be a long and unhappy life, Heather.