Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Hayden Panettiere

Love It or Leave It: Holy Hot Hayden (Panettiere)

photo of hayden panettiere pictures 2012 hot pic
So, we don’t generally talk about Hayden Panettiere around here, partially because Heroes is no more, and partially because we’re just not into sex with giants anymore (and apparently, neither is she), but that photo up there really gives us pause and makes us think of Hayden’s status as a Hollywood staple. I mean, you’re totally right when you say that she’s totally not, but will you just look at how adorably hot she is?

Let’s talk about it for a second—that hair and that little peek of cleavage and the cutesy fashion sense that she’s got going on? How did she ever figure out how to deal with excess beltage (i.e., when you have a belt that you just can’t bear to part with—or you’re borrowing someone else’s belt—that’s just way too big and you have this gigantic flap hanging from your midsection that looks like a withered third arm)? Can we just go ahead and crown Hayden here “Hottie of the Day”? Because WOW. Girlfriend is seriously smoking.

Hayden Panettiere Was Approached By a Nude Irishman at the EMAs

Oh, I also forgot to mention in the previous post – the super-cute Hayden Panettiere was visually assaulted by a nude streaker (and really, is there any other kind?) who was, admittedly, pretty hot. And that accent, woo. I’m a girl that really gets off on accents – all kinds of accents, really, except for Boston accents (though back-country New England accents are awesome) and New York accents (sorry!), and this guy was off the charts.

Anyway. The video is kind of NSFW if your workplace frowns upon quick, blurry photos of decent penis and completely fine male ass, but pretty much OK for everywhere else.


Who’d You Rather: Hayden Panettiere v. Michelle Trachtenberg

photo of hayden panettiere and michelle trachtenberg hot pictures photos pics

I know it’s supposed to be rude and stuff to compare two women or men against one another, and it’s probably contributes to a lot of self-esteem issues in our world today, but you know what? THIS IS A SNARKY GOSSIP BLOG. This is the kind of stuff we do. Also? It’s Friday. If you don’t like Hayden Panettiere or Michelle Trachtenberg, and can’t even come close to fathoming what they’d look like in your bed next to you, holding your penis instead of those stupid shoes, then mosey on to the LOLCatz website, where you can rank the hotness of cats or whatever and destroy their sense of self-worth instead.

Hayden and Michelle – two equally-hot ladies in their own rights, with two totally different looks.

Who would it be?

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Giant Sex No More: Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko Snap It Off

photo of wladimir klitschko and hayden panettiere break up photos pictures pics

After two years of figuring out how to fit a square peg in a round hole, Hayden Panettiere and her big-assed boxer boyfriend have called it quits. On the split, Hayden says:

“Even though we’ve decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends,” says the Scream 4 actress, 21.


However, Hayden (only 21, MAHGOD) apparently has a thing for much older dudes (Klit is 35), so she’ll be sorry to see that her timing in this breakup was off just slightly – a few weeks earlier and she could have been the one moving into Sean Penn’s Malibu love nest.

What over-aged dude is suitable for Hayden’s tastes in your opinion?

Hayden Panettiere Sings Now and She Made a Twelve Dollar Music Video

First Hayden Panettiere ruined Scre4m for me with that totally ridiculous haircut that no high school student in 2011 would ever rock, and now she’s ruined the new animated feature Hoodwinked Too by lending her voice to the soundtrack and making this cheap looking music video. The track’s called, “I Can Do It Alone,” and from the looks of the video above, she did.

Yo’kay, maybe I came in a little hot there. Her voice is better than some of the actresses we’ve seen try their hand at singing out of nowhere, but it’s the embarrassingly low-quality music video that has me really upset. I don’t need high-production value to be happy, but I could have made this video in iMovie in about two hours. Did they blow their video budget on autotune and hair extensions or something? I mean, it’s offensively bad.

But still, not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

Hayden Panettiere Suffers a Self-Conscious Moment

photo of hayden panettiere pictures green minidress

Let it be said that I think Hayden Panettiere is probably one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood. And from what I gather, a whole hell of a lot of people think so too. There’s crazy fan sites dedicated to the pint-sized bombshell, and I’m sure she’s the subject of many midget-giant sexual fantasies. Hayden’s crazy hot, and though she seems kind of off the radar, she’s all the more admirable for it.

However? Hay’s apparently just like the much-less-hot rest of us — someone must have tipped her off a recent boxing match that a little ripple was going on in her upper thighs as she sat (and come the fuck on, who wouldn’t have that kind of skin shift sitting in that position?), and Hayden, bless her little soul, did her best to cover up the ‘imperfection,’ with hands, purses, and people.

But come on, girl. Unless you’re a woman with -0.001% body fat, you’re going to have those little bumps somewhere. Don’t try to hide it and pretend that you’re not just as hot as you were ten minutes ago. Carry on.

Bang or Bust: Hayden Panettiere

photo of Hayden Panettiere at the beach in a red bikini

Hayden Panettiere was photographed frolicking on the beach yesterday — without her Jack and the Beanstalk giant boyfriend, Wladimir Klitschko. And though he’s not pictured in these latest photographs, I thought I’d do a “Bang or Bust” on those two, ’cause they’re just so damned adorable together. It was like when Gary Coleman married Gummy McBallgag Shannon Price.

Panettiere, who I’m kind of indifferent about in her wee existence, looks banging hot in her two-piece lifeguard-looking bikini and I think it’s honestly a toss-up between her and her super-sized boyfriend.

Who would you rather? Eeny-weenie midget porn or orifice-ripping boxer sex? The choice … is yours.