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Hank Baskett

18That Was Fast!

Kendra Wilkinson is, in fact, engaged to Hank Baskett Jr., according to a statement from none other than … Hugh Hefner????

“I have given her my blessing and will be giving her away at a very special wedding ceremony at the Playboy Mansion this coming June,” Hefner said.

What. The. Fuck?

This whole business makes it seem like Kendra and Hef were never really in love in the first place!

My world is spinning, I tell you. Spinning like Hugh Hefner’s bed. I feel so betrayed.

You know, I was hanging out with one of my old-time druggie pals back in LA, and he was all like, “You know, sometimes, when I used to smoke crack — like, good crack — I’d have an orgasm. I’d just jizz all over myself, sitting there smoking crack. Without touching myself or anything. So now, porn is a trigger for me. I can’t watch porn because it makes me think of crack.” And I was like, “Woah, dude. That’s intense.”

I’ve never had that experience with anything before, but I think that as soon as one of these girls writes a heartfelt tell-all about the shit that went down behind the scenes with all this, I will just orgasm while reading it. No touching or anything. I’ll just have a full-blown orgasm, reading Beneath the Bunny: The Holly Madison Memoirs or whatever she decides to call it.

November 6, 2008 at 6:51 pm by Evil Beet
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