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2Next Week Is Glee‘s Britney Spears Episode …

And this here promo looks amazing.  It looks like we’re going to see a remake of sorts of Britney’s “… Baby One More Time” video (there’s a link for you, just because the video never fails to throw me right back to middle school, and I don’t want to be alone there) and there’s even a glimpse of that iconic big ol’ yellow snake.  I don’t see any references to busted weaves though, so I guess they’re keeping it classic.

If you guys watched the season premiere last night, then hopefully you’ll understand why my personal dreams for the Britney episode involve Artie soulfully singing “From the Bottom of My Broken Heart” to Tina and, on a slightly more realistic note, I would love to see Quinn sing “Lucky,” what with her going back to being popular and thus kind of a bitch.  Or Kurt could sing “Dear Diary” about that new quarterback with the ridiculous lips.

You see, there are really so many possibilities.  Glee is all about dreaming big, guys.  Heed their musical words.

September 22, 2010 at 11:26 am by Emily
Filed Under: Britney Spears, Glee

48Lea Michele is So Glad Hollywood Took a Chance on Her and Her ‘Jewish Nose’

So Lea Michele, that girl on that show that I’ve never watched, has made a bunch of statements about body image and weight and looks and other things that are just plain dangerous for a teen star who recently lost of a ton of weight to be making. While her message seems to be good, her actions don’t really match up. What happens when an actress who looks like she weighs 110 pounds says that she’s trying to give girls of the world self-confidence by embracing her flaws? A bunch of totally idiotic statements.

From PopEater:

On why being Italian has freed her of Hollywood’s pressure to be perfect: “I come from a big Italian family and the pressure is not really anything I’ve been raised to feel.”

On her ‘Jewish nose’: “I’ve always been proud of my body, my Jewish nose and all of that. Hollywood’s Hollywood, but that’s not going to change.”

On why her ethnicity almost kept her off of television: “I never really thought there would be a place on television for me. I have a very specific look. I’m Jewish. I’m Italian.”

On Barbara Streisand’s ‘Jewish nose’: “I remember looking up to Barbara Streisand, and thinking, ‘Finally, someone who has a Jewish nose, who didn’t get a nose job.’”

On what she hopes all of this talk of dissing her ethnicity and acting like her body is normal will do: “If that is inspiring and can give young girls a sense of confidence, that’s great.”

First of all, I love that this chick says she looked at Babs and said, “Finally.” As if there was ever a point in her life where Barbara Streisand was not a super, mega-famous star. Babs has been famous since peanut butter was invented.

Secondly, is this chick high? No place for unconventional looking women in television and film? Nicki Blonsky? Jennifer Grey? Heather Matarazzo? You guys have anything to say about that? I bet Jennifer Grey does. I bet Jennifer Grey would tell you that lopping off her “Jewish nose” was what actually killed her career.

What I think Miss Lea needs to do is go rent herself a copy of Precious and reevaluate her definition of a unique looking woman making it in Hollywood, ’cause despite what a strange flower she thinks she is, I’m pretty sure I saw fifteen girls just like her at the mall last week. Dumbass.

August 13, 2010 at 12:30 pm by Molls
Filed Under: Glee, Lea Michele

7Wisdom Does Not Come With Age

And if an eighteen year-old girl is getting Botox to keep “fresh,” it’s a safe bet to say that though her eighteen years of life experience has probably brought her tumultuous amounts of insight, this is where the buck stops.

Adorable and talented Filipino singer Charice Pempengco has got the world by the balls: she’s been on Oprah, her singing talents have been showcased worldwide, and now she’s in an exclusive spot on Glee. But clearly, the world isn’t enough — Charice, 18, admittedly gets Botox treatments in order to keep her looks — and face — “fresh”:

The 18-year-old Charice, whose singing career rocketed after appearing on Ellen DeGeneres’ and Oprah Winfrey’s talk shows, underwent a 30-minute Thermage skin-tightening procedure and Botox to make her “naturally round face” more narrow, celebrity cosmetic surgeon Vicki Belo told ABS-CBN television.

Oh, come on. Really? You know, it’s one thing to use Botox to correct, you know, flaws if you have them and just can’t stand them (a topic for another day), but it’s a totally different thing to use Botox — a potentially harmful substance as many claim — in a face that’s not even through maturing. For crying out loud, this girl’s not even done breaking out.

Great job, media beauty. You’ve passed your disease along to barely adults. This girl can’t even buy a beer yet, but she’s going under the needle to “freshen” her young, young face.

God help her when she’s twenty and she has the facial stoicisms of Nicole Kidman.

July 19, 2010 at 9:25 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Charice Pempengco, Glee

1Oxygen Keeps Making My Dreams Come True

A photo of the cast of Glee

I absolutely love Oxygen.  And I don’t just mean that thing that people breathe.  With the Bad Girls Club, Snapped and reruns of Roseanne and America’s Next Top Model (apparently I like watching shows featuring wacky women), I feel like I have nearly all of my television needs covered.  But then Oxygen goes out and hooks up with Glee, and now I am just elated.

Oxygen got syndication rights to Glee, so that will be handy in 2013, but what’s more exciting is that Oxygen is in the works to create a reality show based on Glee.  The creator of the show, Ryan Murphy, will be involved, and it will premiere sometime in 2011.  There’s no word yet on if the cast will be involved at all or what the concept of the show will be, but there are theories that the show might follow a particular show choir for a season or that it will be more of a show choir competition show.

I really don’t care what the concept is, I’m watching it regardless. Have you ever met a kid in show choir in real life?  I’ve only met one, and that girl was the craziest.  She would storm out of rehearsal screaming about how she was on her period, and when one of my friends got drunk enough to sleep with her, he woke up to see her measuring his dick with a pocket ruler.  Right now I’m just imagining that girl on a reality show, and I couldn’t be more pleased.  Thanks, Oxygen!

June 29, 2010 at 3:03 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Glee

3Glee Gets Better, As If That’s Possible

A photo of a Glee concert

Glee is becoming the latest television show to be made into a porn. Thanks, Hustler, for making my life a little more complete.

The film isn’t going to be released until next month, but you can watch the trailer, which features Sue Sylvester kissin’ up on Tina, Mr. Schuester looking a little busted and creepin’ on a whole bunch of people, and what looks like a Cheerios orgy.  And if you’re as entranced by the musical number featured in the trailer as I am, you can watch the entire performance of “Big Tushy Ho’s” here. And since this whole post is about porn, I don’t think I have to tell you the links are NSFW, but I feel obligated to tell you that they are censored, so unfortunately you can’t see Mercedes lifting her skirt and actually showing Rachel her “pretty cotton tail.”

God, I love porn.  I can only imagine the process of filming this beautiful piece of art.  The actors doing vocal warm-ups while being fluffed, the hair stylist breaking down into tears because she can’t find a shitty enough wig to use for Sue, the musical director throwing chairs because the actress playing Rachel can’t work out the harmony in “Big Tushy Ho’s.”  There are so many possibilities.

June 11, 2010 at 11:01 am by Emily
Filed Under: Glee

6Jane Lynch Thinks It’s Weird That You’d Want to Sleep With Her

Jane Lynch is attracting a whole new set of fans with her role on Glee, and the kind that she finds the weirdest are the ones that want to sleep with her. Jane says in the video interview above that she’s thrilled when musical theater fans approach her on the street, and while she’s flattered by the other kind of praise she occasionally gets, she’s not so sure why a 17-year old boy would say he wants to “do” her.

I can’t say I’m sure why a 17-year old boy would want to do the nasty with Jane Lynch either, but if that’s the strangest thing she’s approached about, then I’d say she’s pretty lucky.

June 9, 2010 at 3:29 pm by Molls
Filed Under: Glee, Jane Lynch
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