Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Glee

Wisdom Does Not Come With Age

And if an eighteen year-old girl is getting Botox to keep “fresh,” it’s a safe bet to say that though her eighteen years of life experience has probably brought her tumultuous amounts of insight, this is where the buck stops.

Adorable and talented Filipino singer Charice Pempengco has got the world by the balls: she’s been on Oprah, her singing talents have been showcased worldwide, and now she’s in an exclusive spot on Glee. But clearly, the world isn’t enough — Charice, 18, admittedly gets Botox treatments in order to keep her looks — and face — “fresh”:

The 18-year-old Charice, whose singing career rocketed after appearing on Ellen DeGeneres’ and Oprah Winfrey’s talk shows, underwent a 30-minute Thermage skin-tightening procedure and Botox to make her “naturally round face” more narrow, celebrity cosmetic surgeon Vicki Belo told ABS-CBN television.

Oh, come on. Really? You know, it’s one thing to use Botox to correct, you know, flaws if you have them and just can’t stand them (a topic for another day), but it’s a totally different thing to use Botox — a potentially harmful substance as many claim — in a face that’s not even through maturing. For crying out loud, this girl’s not even done breaking out.

Great job, media beauty. You’ve passed your disease along to barely adults. This girl can’t even buy a beer yet, but she’s going under the needle to “freshen” her young, young face.

God help her when she’s twenty and she has the facial stoicisms of Nicole Kidman.

Oxygen Keeps Making My Dreams Come True

A photo of the cast of Glee

I absolutely love Oxygen.  And I don’t just mean that thing that people breathe.  With the Bad Girls Club, Snapped and reruns of Roseanne and America’s Next Top Model (apparently I like watching shows featuring wacky women), I feel like I have nearly all of my television needs covered.  But then Oxygen goes out and hooks up with Glee, and now I am just elated.

Oxygen got syndication rights to Glee, so that will be handy in 2013, but what’s more exciting is that Oxygen is in the works to create a reality show based on Glee.  The creator of the show, Ryan Murphy, will be involved, and it will premiere sometime in 2011.  There’s no word yet on if the cast will be involved at all or what the concept of the show will be, but there are theories that the show might follow a particular show choir for a season or that it will be more of a show choir competition show.

I really don’t care what the concept is, I’m watching it regardless. Have you ever met a kid in show choir in real life?  I’ve only met one, and that girl was the craziest.  She would storm out of rehearsal screaming about how she was on her period, and when one of my friends got drunk enough to sleep with her, he woke up to see her measuring his dick with a pocket ruler.  Right now I’m just imagining that girl on a reality show, and I couldn’t be more pleased.  Thanks, Oxygen!

Glee Gets Better, As If That’s Possible

A photo of a Glee concert

Glee is becoming the latest television show to be made into a porn. Thanks, Hustler, for making my life a little more complete.

The film isn’t going to be released until next month, but you can watch the trailer, which features Sue Sylvester kissin’ up on Tina, Mr. Schuester looking a little busted and creepin’ on a whole bunch of people, and what looks like a Cheerios orgy.  And if you’re as entranced by the musical number featured in the trailer as I am, you can watch the entire performance of “Big Tushy Ho’s” here. And since this whole post is about porn, I don’t think I have to tell you the links are NSFW, but I feel obligated to tell you that they are censored, so unfortunately you can’t see Mercedes lifting her skirt and actually showing Rachel her “pretty cotton tail.”

God, I love porn.  I can only imagine the process of filming this beautiful piece of art.  The actors doing vocal warm-ups while being fluffed, the hair stylist breaking down into tears because she can’t find a shitty enough wig to use for Sue, the musical director throwing chairs because the actress playing Rachel can’t work out the harmony in “Big Tushy Ho’s.”  There are so many possibilities.

Jane Lynch Thinks It’s Weird That You’d Want to Sleep With Her

Jane Lynch is attracting a whole new set of fans with her role on Glee, and the kind that she finds the weirdest are the ones that want to sleep with her. Jane says in the video interview above that she’s thrilled when musical theater fans approach her on the street, and while she’s flattered by the other kind of praise she occasionally gets, she’s not so sure why a 17-year old boy would say he wants to “do” her.

I can’t say I’m sure why a 17-year old boy would want to do the nasty with Jane Lynch either, but if that’s the strangest thing she’s approached about, then I’d say she’s pretty lucky.

Uncle Jesse to Appear on Glee?

photo of john stamos in a black jacket

Shit. If that’s true, it might actually make the show worth watching for me.

(Ducks while various blunt objects are thrown from the Glee fan gallery.)

Ahem, anyway, the show’s executives are reportedly eyeing John Stamos to make an appearance next season as Emma’s (Jayma Mays) dentist, who takes an interest in more than just her teeth. Will (Matthew Morrison) will obviously have a new rival, which should make things, um, interesting. Ish.

I’ve always been a John Stamos fan. I’m not quite sure whether or not he can act his way out of a bag, because I never really paid much attention to anything he’s really done outside of Full House (which, incidentally, is one of the best freaking shows ever) but I heard he actually is pretty talented and occasionally rips it up on Broadway. Who knew.

I have a good friend who also sort of loves John Stamos. Like, you know, in that creepy, “cut photos out of magazines in your late-twenties” kind of way. She used to have this pair of black Chucks that were all written-upon and frayed and torn, and there were John Stamos references penned all over those destroyed kicks. It was sort of funny, and we all used to laugh kind of nervously about it, but you know. It was all in good fun, right?

Anyway, what do you guys think? Could The ‘Mos make things even better on Glee, or do you think some would want to avoid tweaking what many consider “perfection”?

Glee‘s Jane Lynch Ties the Knot With Her Long-Term Girlfriend

photo of glee's jane lynch wearing a black shirt and smiling

As odd as this might sound to some of you, I find Jane Lynch terribly attractive. Kind of in the way that I find Rachel Maddow uber-attractive. I guess there’s just something about a woman with short hair and a big smile who’s assertive and commanding that just totally appeals to me.

Jane Lynch, star of Glee, married her girlfriend Lara Embry in a small ceremony in Massachusetts yesterday afternoon:

Lynch donned a cream wrap blouse and black pants, while Embry wore an ivory and black cocktail dress.

Twenty-one guests, including the newlyweds, feasted on a dinner comprised of striped bass, truffle mushroom salad and pan-seared breast of duck. For dessert, everyone reportedly enjoyed a house-made cake filled with chocolate mousse, vanilla butter cream and fresh strawberries while a four-piece jazz combo played during the reception.

“It was small, warm, intimate and very sweet,” Snow told the mag [People]. “You could feel the love and friendship amongst the group.”

Striped bass? Chocolate mousse, fresh strawberries and a four-piece jazz combo? Uh, yes, please. All that with a side of Jane Lynch and I’d be one happy bitch myself.

Congrats to the happy couple!

I’ve Never Been More in Love With Lady Gaga

Last night, Glee had their highly anticipated Lady Gaga episode, and I still cannot completely comprehend how amazing it was. I don’t like Lady Gaga’s music, that’s not a secret, but will I cry at a soulful duet of “Poker Face”? Of course I will, let’s not be ridiculous.  And while I may not flip my shit over “Bad Romance” like the rest of the world, I can appreciate the fact that Gaga’s got style, and Glee got all up on that style for this week’s episode.  There were costumes inspired from the pop star’s most iconic looks, including the dress she wore at the Grammys and the “Bad Romance” shoes.  Lou Eyrich, the show’s costume designer, said

“I have great respect for Lady Gaga. This episode is a tribute to her genius. The costumes are not replicas; we wanted it look like the kids made them.”

Mission accomplished, Lou Eyrich.  Did you see Rachel’s stuffed animal dress in that video?  I can totally see her stapling a dress together, just like I can totally see me doing the same thing come Halloween.

Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee, said that Lady Gaga herself was involved in the show, and she gave her blessing to both the costumes and the performances.  And if you don’t believe Ryan Murphy, check out Gaga’s Twitter:

GLEE WAS SO AMAZING! AH!!!!

What did you guys think?  Are you on my side (which also happens to be Lady Gaga’s), or was the whole thing a bit lackluster for you?