Oh, Fergie Ferg. She’s having her first baby with husband and hottie (to some?) Josh Duhamel, and that’s great, right? You know, despite the fact that her immediate reaction to discovering her pregnancy was to note that “shit just got real“? Guys?

Alright, listen. Fergalicious admits that she’s not really all that maternal and even incubating her child in her womb hasn’t really kicked that in yet. I don’t think that’s necessarily an issue, and it’s bullshit women’s/parenting mags that like to make women feel like there’s ONE correct way to react to everything in life. If you’re not shitting yourself with delight over putting 86 yellow (neutral colour, natch) onesies on your Target baby registry, there’s something wrong with you. I mean, there isn’t, but that’s what they’d like you to believe.

From OMG! Yahoo:

“I’m still waiting for my maternal instincts to kick in, really. I’m sure a lot of new moms can really relate to that, so I’m hoping it’ll happen before it comes out,” she revealed.

Having kids is a mindblowing experience that’s hard to come to terms with the reality of, so why should she be going nuts already? If you are, cool, but there’s nothing wrong with NOT being that way. Sounds to me like she’s bricking it because she’s realising that her whole life as she knows it is going to be turned upside down and start revolving around a little wrinkly crying thing that takes all of your time, energy, attention and money. I’d probably feel pretty similar.

Fergie and Josh Duhamel recently announced that they’re expecting their first child together, which is a big thing for any couple. Hilariously, it was a really big thing for Fergie herself, who got back to her roots and told it like it was when that plus sign showed up on her Clear Blue Easy.

From The New York Post:

“She was the one when we first found out that was like, ‘This [bleep] just got real,’ ” Duhamel told us at the Moves magazine party at Toy. “Those were the first words out of her mouth.”

He’s looking forward to fatherhood: “I’m not 24, I’ve got some life experience that I think I can impart. My mother was the disciplinarian and my father was more of a free spirit. Hopefully I’m somewhere in between.”

True, girl – that shit DID just get real, and it’s going to stay real for the rest of your damn life because kids will drain you of every ounce of energy and money you’ve got. On the other hand, they give lots of love and are rewarding, blah blah.

From USA Today:

I love (wearing) sweats.

Oh my God, Fergie. Girl. We have so much more in common than I ever realized.

She included a photo with her tweet of the two of them as children Photoshopped into one photo hanging out in a crib or something I don’t know I don’t really get it but it’s cute:

This summer, the Black Eyed Peas announced they were going on hiatus. “This isn’t going to be the last time you’ll see us,” Fergie promised.

And I guess that was true, technically…!

MediaTakeOut has a hot, unconfirmed tip—take it or leave it—that Fergie is leaving the Black Eyed Peas. I know!!!

But that isn’t all, you guys. Rumor also has it, the Black Eyed Peas have a replacement already lined up: Grammy-award winning singer Ashanti.

Obviously, if all this is true, it is such a bad move on Fergie’s part—Fergie is inimitable!—but I can totally respect that she wants to start a family.

And good on Ashanti! Wow! She’s kept a really low profile these last few years, and the Black Eyed Peas could honestly jumpstart her career again. In the meantime, the Black Eyed Peas are getting mmmmaybe a little stale, and Ashanti could be just the dose of ready talent they need.

I don’t know about you all, but I, for one, am really excited that football has started. I just love football. Even though my team didn’t do so well this past opening week (WHO DAT), I’m still all about the game itself. I love it.

Something I don’t love? The way Fergie, doubtless a good singer, has to grunt and growl her way through every song like it’s ‘My Humps.’

What did you guys think – better than Christina Aguilera‘s Superbowl flub, or just as bad in its own special way?

Stacy Ferguson was photographed in LA this past week wearing some pretty questionable pants. I totally love how the guy on her right is looking at her like, “Girl, where you think YOU’RE going?” and how everyone’s trying not to point at her chicken neck. (That’s what happens after too many facial surgeries, you know.)

Most times when I post these Love It or Leave It things, I’m, like, laughing inside because the answer is ALWAYS, ALWAYS “leave it.” This time, however, I actually love these pants. Seriously. I know many of you probably think that I’m joking, but I’m being completely honest. What do you guys think?

Image via Celebuzz

And wouldn’t you, if you were Fergie? I mean jeez. Celebrities are celebrities for a reason, it’s not like they’re going to hijack and plane and ransom the passengers for things like a chin reduction or more Botox or something. Celebrities just don’t do those sorts of things; they should be held to different standards and rules, you know? I mean, could you imagine: Fergie the Terrorist? Laughable.  It could almost be an off-Broadway production. And anyway, you remember good old John Wilkes Booth – he was an actor, a celebrity of his day, and HE didn’t get the old patdown on his way into Ford’s Theater in DC of all places, did he?

What the hell, TSA?

It appears that Stacy Ferguson has undergone some ill-advised surgeries of the plastic variety. It looks as though she’s gotten a new nose and had some of the fat taken out of her lady lumps and injected into her face since she first appeared on Kids Incorporated alongside another one of our favorites.

I never understood the whole “Fergie’s hot” thing. I think she’s a fine singer who’s in a popular band and that they collectively do an above-average job of producing radio hits, but something about her look is just terribly off to me. I don’t think it’s “meth face”, although I’m sure her history with the drug didn’t help.

Check out the gallery below to see how Fergie morphed from a naturally pretty teenager to somewhat of a swampthing and let me know what work you think she had done in the comments.

If you haven’t heard already, Josh Duhamel – or Fergie’s lapdog – was removed from an aircraft this past Thursday for violating flight protocol. Apparently Josh thinks himself as something of an exception to that whole ‘please turn off electronic devices while we try to get this 150-ton hunk of scrap metal off the ground, OK’ thing because when asked to turn his phone off, he said, ‘No thank you,’ and continued texting.

When Josh – or ‘John,’ as People.com refers to him in the top tab as seen here:

didn’t comply with the steward’s continuous suggestions, then requests, then demands, to turn the phone off, the plane was turned around and Josh was removed by flight staff.

I mean, Josh should know that any variety of things will get you kicked off a plane these days – including being fat – so why would he think that being a douche wouldn’t be one of them? Because even if he didn’t refuse to shut off his mobile, I’m sure they would have figured out another reason to get his smarmy ass off of the aircraft.

There have been rumors going around that Fergie is planning on leaving the Black Eyed Peas because she wants to have a baby, and also because Will.I.Am is some kind of egotistical douchebag (shocker!).  While Fergie hasn’t said anything about those rumors, Will.I.Am has decided to comment on them via Twitter:

Don’t belive gossip about fergie leaving the group (we are never breaking up) its all lies!!!

That’s a bold statement, “never breaking up.”  I would love to see a bunch of geriatrics hobbling around on stage singing about lovely lady lumps.  I would love nothing more than that.

But seriously, Fergie needs to get out while she can.  She could release solo albums every once in a while and avoid Will.I.Am altogether, who would probably just self-destruct in a really public way after that.  I’m not a big fan of Fergie or the Black Eyed Peas as musicians, but I would much rather listen to Fergie hilariously misspell words than that “Boom Boom Pow” shit.  Please, Fergie, do yourself and the world a favor and really be planning on quitting the Black Eyed Peas.

Fergie Ferg was seen walking around Paris yesterday with an unusual pair of sunglasses. Apparently Stacy’s signature meth brows are worth highlighting in her opinion, because the bar across the top of her shades that creates that lovely unibrow effect does just that. I had to stare at these pictures for several seconds before I realized that a unibrow may not have been her desired effect.

Duhamel wants to make sure that there’re no kids in the picture while he’s still porking other women, ’cause that doesn’t set a good “family example” naturally.

Nah, but really … Josh Duhamel recently sat down for an interview with People magazine where he was asked the obligatory-just-married question of whether or not he and Fergie are going to pump out a litter of kids in the next few hours or so.  Duhamel stated that he does, indeed, want Fergie’s children, but not anytime soon.

The 37 year-old actor and his wife, Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson, are apparently not getting any younger … and he’s not getting any better looking, either, so maybe that means he’ll start reining in that trouser snake of his a little bit more and y’know, settle down some more.  After that, maybe, just maybe, they’ll be able to consider children.  One step at a time, guys, one step at a time.

And if mine eyes do not deceive me, Fergie looks absolutely slamming in this photo.  On second thought, Josh, you better get up on that baby train before Fergie sucks the remaining lifeblood out of you, before you do end up looking more like the Cryptkeeper and before she does leave your philandering at-a-loss-for-words ass.

Creep.