These are all from Australian Fashion Week, and they are all very good advice for y’all wanting to look good.

If you show up looking like this dates will want to bang. In a big way. Take note.

This first look says “I’ve put on the lotion AND I’ve gotten the hose.”

Next up is “Beautiful is for all the other models!”

“You ordered the village idiot? I’m here!”

“One day my forehead will conquer nations.”

You get the idea. Oh, you crazy Aussies!

At the Australian VMAs in Sydney.

Kate Hurst

Frederich Gray

One Fell Swoop

Even though Australian Fashion Week doesn’t technically start until April 30, we’re already starting to see pics from some of the earlier shows out of Sydney. I have to say I am really, really unhappy with the shoes at the Kate Hurst and Frederich Gray shows. Like, if shoes are going to look uncomfortable, they should also look hot. These just look like hooker shoes. And not even, like, a fashionable hooker. Like a crack-whore hooker.

I really like the skirt style at the One Fell Swoop show. We saw a lot of it at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood party this week, and it’s a trend I can stand behind. I hope the skirts stay and the shoes go.

Also, not to go all pro-ana on you, but what’s up with the fat models? I mean, they’re not really fat, but they’re definitely model fat, and I just think it makes the whole thing a lot less glamorous. Oh well. We’ll see what shows up on the runways when Sydney’s in full swing.

Frederich Gray

Kate Hurst

One Fell Swoop

Seriously. Worst. Outfits. Ever.
Dakota Fanning just makes me want to puke in my mouth. Honey, you are 13…you’ve been raped in a movie stop wearing pale pink like you are Abigail Breslin. Katherine Heigl…I can’t even start to talk about that loud red jacket…you look like you should be on the “Golden Girls.” I don’t know if you got the memo but you are at the Young Hollywood Awards, might be best if you try to look young.

Here are some awful outfits from Movieline’s Hollywood Life 9th Annual Young Hollywood Awards.

Emmy Emmy…did you rip up your tutu from “Phantom of the Opera” and make your own dress for the party? No? Well it looks like you did. For a girl who usually has great style this dress is way to much. I could deal with a little fluffy on the top or a little on the bottom but together it really overwhelms her small frame. Also, I have an idea why we never see her knees. All together her look just failed.

Beyonce decided to show her support for the troops by wearing a zip up hoodie without pants. That is really all I have to say about this. Also, whoever did her hair seemed to be working with the theme of “poodle.”