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Farrah Abraham

5Farrah Abraham is working as a stripper in Texas

farrah abraham

Here’s a story that probably won’t surprise you in the least: Farrah Abraham is a stripper now… in Texas, of all places. That’s right, our single mom/porn star/erotica writer/walking insane asylum has a job at Palazio Gentleman’s Club in Austin, only – get this! – she says she’s only doing it for “research”. You know, like Jennifer Aniston did for ‘We’re the Millers’.

**Insert blank stare here**

From E! Online:

“She was hired a couple of weeks ago as a cocktail waitress but wanted to make more money dancing, so they moved her up to the stage,” the insider dished. “She was on all three stages, the main stage and two side stages.”

“I’m doing research,” [Abraham] explains to E! News exclusively. “A friend of mine works there and I’m researching. I’ve been trying out all the roles that make up a gentleman’s club, including cocktailing and dancing. There’s management and there’s cooking too. It’s job shadowing that I hope pays off. In the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper, that’s what I’m doing. It’s how I get the information to write my books and do my movies. Unfortunately, I’m not free to talk about what those future projects may be. But I’m interested in hearing all the women’s stories. And while I’m doing it, I’m getting paid. I’m getting paid to play a role and get informed.”

Whether stripping may not be Abraham’s new permanent gig, it sounds like she’s already been quite successful as a dancer. The gentlemen’s club source tells us guys were swarming the stage with money when Abraham was on stage. At one point, she laid down on her back and ripped her bra off.

“She was definitely not shy and looked like she knew what she was doing,” the insider said. “She was wearing a nude thong and bejeweled bra. She wasn’t awkward at all and was actually quite good.”

HAHAHA, is she serious? Does she honestly think anyone is dumb enough to believe that this is “research” for unnamed projects (which are so because they don’t exist)? Girl, no. Live it up, embrace your stripping job and make that money. Just don’t try and lie about it, because no one is buying it. Is this about your new-found Christian identity?

August 14, 2014 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Farrah Abraham

1Farrah Abraham wants to be a Christian actress

farrah abraham

Farrah Abraham may be best known for exploiting her teen pregnancy on TV and using that as a catalyst to become a porn star and to “write” an erotica novel, but the tide’s changing and she’s ready to start a new chapter in her life… as an actress in Christian films.

From US Weekly:

“I will be acting in two movies, and I’m kind of staying closer to roles that are Christian-based,” she revealed.

Uh…………………………………………………

Sorry, I think my brain blanked out there.

Look, I’m not saying that people can’t change, or that Christianity means being some prim and proper nun-like figure. What I am saying is that that’s not what’s happening here. I don’t for one second believe that she’s trying to make a change or that she has any deep-seated Christian faith. It’s just laughable.

More laughable still: anyone producing a Christian movie wanting to cast Farrah Abraham.

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July 22, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Farrah Abraham

0Farrah Abraham wants Sandra Bullock to star in the film adaptation of her erotica book

farrah abraham

Thankfully, no one was dumb enough to give Farrah Abraham‘s shitty porn bio erotica novel a film version, but she did recently say that she’d love Sandra Bullock to star in it if she ever did do it. LOL, dream big, girl! But listen, Farrah’s not totally unrealistic – she’ll settle for Jessica Alba if Sandy’s too busy.

From US Weekly:

“I’m not going to do a movie with this, so many people are obsessed with that idea, I think I’ve done, myself, enough TV, and me, obviously I would never be in a video or a movie of my book because that would be crazy,” she tells Us. “I mean, I guess I could – didn’t the Wolf On Wall Street guy kind of do it? Even though, it was such a different story and it was kind of absurd when like the plane goes down in the ocean, and I was like what?”

“I want to have like other awesome actresses and actors,” she continued. “Jessica Alba…Or like, who knows? Sandra Bullock is like really good, too. When you’re an actress you can play any age.”

I love that she claims “so many people” are obsessed with the idea. How delusional can she be? Poor Sandra Bullock. To even have her name uttered out of Farrah’s mouth must be devastating.

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July 18, 2014 at 8:00 am by Jennifer

0Farrah Abraham doesn’t mind if her daughter does a sex tape

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It’s not really shocking in any way, shape or form that Farrah Abraham is possibly one of the worst mothers on planet earth. She’s immature, self-involved, has no self-respect and is a money-hungry woman who will degrade herself and everyone around her for cash. That’s no shade against sex workers, but I think we can all agree that Farrah has no dignity.

That being said, I don’t think anyone will be surprised to know that when asked how she’d feel about her 4-year-old daughter Sophia making her own sex tape one day, she wouldn’t be all that bothered.

From Celebuzz:

“She probably won’t be saying that, she’ll be like ‘I HAD to try it,’ and then I’ll be like ‘oh, you already did it, so I’m just going to say make sure you know what you’re doing with it,’ because, you know, I’ll be like ‘this is what happened to me as your mom.’ It’s like mommy talk. It’s the birds and the bees, and so you just share ‘look, I learned this from it, I hope you don’t do that, read ‘Celebrity Sex Tape,’ learn some lessons from Fallon Opal,’ but that’s really all I can say.”

Then, she also wanted us to know how different she is from Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson:

“I have a different future for myself, and I think, you know, there’s a Kim Kardashian, there’s a Farrah Abraham, there’s a Jenna Jameson,” she explained.  “We all have our own past.  And however we get there–from the TV shows we go on to our life experiences–it’s how we live it, and I think each of us is doing it in the right way for where we want to be.”

LOL, okay. Whatever to this delusional idiot.

July 17, 2014 at 7:00 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Farrah Abraham

0Surprise! Farrah Abraham’s sex life “isn’t that great”

farrah abraham

Farrah Abraham has sold her body (and bought it, clearly) to porn in order to make money and get more attention, but it turns out, being a desperate wannabe who tries to pass porn off as a “leaked sex tape” isn’t all that fulfilling and her personal life isn’t that awesome because of it and she spends a lot of time writing erotica and masturbating, apparently.

From Radar Online:

“My personal sex life isn’t that great,” the single former Teen Mom star admits to RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “We all know that my sex life really isn’t that hot or crazy.”

That’s why the 23-year-old mom of Sophia, 5, was excited to use her imagination while penning her first erotic novel, In The Making (Celebrity Sex Tape).

“I just wanted something wild and crazy and I think as women, we don’t do these things in real life,” she explains. “We just need to get wild and crazy in our heads. I’m happy as a writer that I got to take my mind to other places.”

She says “wanting to touch myself” was a more difficult aspect of the writing process.

“I’m being honest, because I feel like there were a lot of hot and heavy things that I wrote about and thought about,” she confesses.

Despite its triple-x nature, Abraham believes her book will actually help teens avoid promiscuous sex.

“I would rather have them reading erotica or buying a sex toy than going out and having sex with somebody and having that person create problems in their life or shunning them or making them feel bad,” Abraham argued. “I feel like this is a healthy way to express themselves.”

I mean, yeah, masturbation is a healthy thing, but uh… I don’t think I’d want my teenager reading Farrah Abraham’s shitty erotica to discover themselves. She is such a mess.

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July 7, 2014 at 11:00 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Farrah Abraham

0Farrah Abraham’s erotic “fiction” was “therapeutic” to write

farrah abraham

Farrah Abraham is coming out with some thinly veiled erotic fiction about her experience in the porn industry, and while Vivid Entertainment – the company responsible for putting out both of her pornos – would like to stifle her creative energy, she’s fighting back.

You see, Farrah has just been through so many difficult things in life, and it was writing this book that really allowed her to feel a release (not that kind of release, perverts) and actually, the experience ended up being quite therapeutic!

“I think because of the experiences I went through, and I think some of them were unfair, and I guess judged incorrectly from the public when I was going through some things with my sex tape,” she told Us Weekly in a recent interview. “I think it was the catalyst for me to start writing therapeutically, and then I was thinking of fictional characters so I could kind of get out of my head and this came about.”

LOL, okay. First of all, Farrah Abraham never lifted a finger to write a single word and we all know it. Second of all, she hasn’t been through shit – she sought out porn because she was desperate for attention and money and this was an easy way to get them both.

I just don’t even have words for this idiot anymore.

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April 11, 2014 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Farrah Abraham
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