Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Eva Mendes

Ryan Gosling Is Shopping for An Engagement Ring

A photo of Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling

Allegedly, guys. Ryan Gosling is allegedly shopping for an engagement ring. It’s not real, ok? We can read this story and then climb back into our fantasy world, but it’s not real. It just can’t be. Shhhhh.

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Wedding bells are finally set to ring for Eva Mendes after Ryan Gosling won a hard-fought campaign to get the marriage-shy sexpot to settle down and start a family. A year into their romance, Ryan has begun shopping for an engagement ring for his 38-year-old lady love, who has long insisted she’s not the marrying kind, say insiders.

“Ryan is head over heels in love with Eva, and he wants to have a life with her – including children,” divulged a friend. But Eva had always wanted to maintain her independence, until she began to hear her biological clock ticking. She’s long yearned to start a family, and even investigated adoption two years ago, disclosed an insider.

“Ryan wants children too, but also believes in marriage and youngsters growing up knowing mommy and daddy are committed to each other,” said the insider.

“It’s something Eva has balked at in the past, but Ryan has a charming way of helping her see a different kind of future. She’s getting on board with the idea of marriage.”

Gosling is “now confident that when he pops the question, Eva will say yes,” added the friend. “They are likely to announce their engagement in October, followed by a summer wedding.”

See, this is from the Enquirer, and it’s one of those stories from the tabloids that are absolutely false and that will never, ever be true. I don’t care how many rumors we hear about these two settling down or how many pictures we see of Eva Mendes looking maybe a little pregnant, it’s just not true.

It’s just … I watched The Notebook again last week, you guys. I watched The Notebook and I remembered why everyone fell in love with Ryan Gosling in the first place and I remembered why he should be with Rachel McAdams forever and I just can’t. I just can’t with all this Eva Mendes nonsense. I can’t.

Your Daily Gosling

photo of eva mendes and ryan gosling pictures
So, we haven’t had a “Your Daily Gosling” in awhile, primarily because Ryan‘s still with Eva Mendes, who may or may not be in the early stages of pregnancy, and I think people* are getting pretty sick of seeing Ryan and Eva hanging all over one another in public. And I get it. Bo-ring.

But these pictures are from the red carpet event for Ryan and Eva’s movie, The Place Beyond the Pines, where Ryan plays a white trash-kind of guy who fathers a baby with a white trash-kind of girl, who is played by Eva. Ryan also rides motorcycles and has Johnny Depp-Cry Baby tattoos.

Also, Eva Mendes is definitely tweaking her face. But I guess that’s what those who have insecurity issues to begin with do when they’re dating someone almost a decade their junior and trying to pass themselves off as super-special marriage and mother material.

Ryan just looks so, so happy, doesn’t he?

*It’s me, guys. It’s all me.

So, Eva Mendes is Proposing to Ryan Gosling? That Right?

photo of eva mendes and ryan gosling dating engagement pictures
Can I get a collective “ugh,” please?

From Us Weekly:

Looks like Ryan Gosling isn’t going to be a young, free and single star for much longer as girlfriend of just a year, Eva Mendes is reportedly planning to propose to him.

The 37 year-old is reportedly ready to settle down and rather than waiting for the ‘Drive’ stud to propose to her she is taking the reins in the romance and suggesting to him that they get hitched.

A source told Us Weekly: “She starting to think about marriage and kids. She loves serious relationships, and she wants all of that.”

Luckily she has already got his mother, Donna on side so if she wants permission we think the ‘Hitch’ star might just get it. “Eva hit it off with Donna immediately,” the close friend explained. Now they text and email all the time!”

While Eva supposedly doesn’t believe in marriage, traditional Ryan is said to want to tie the knot before having children and with her biological clock ticking, the actress is probably feeling the pressure to get a move on.

According to Showbizspy.com an insider said: “Ryan believes in marital commitment before children, but Eva doesn’t support the institution of marriage. She’s very outspoken about it.”

“She considering caving and actually proposing to Ryan on their one-year anniversary in September.”

Now, don’t get me wrong—I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to propose to a man, absolutely. But Eva Mendes? Proposing to Ryan Gosling? Color me biased, but this should just not happen. Like, if he was so into her, he probably would have popped the question by now, am I right? He seems like the type to not want to rush anything that’s important to him, especially when it comes to deciding the fate of a relationship. Does Eva really want to have this kind of guilt hanging over her head for the rest of her life if she does propose and he does accept (out of sheer fear of not wanting to hurt her feelings)? I know I sure wouldn’t.

Git up and git gone with your bad self, Eva.

THAT BETTER NOT BE A BABY BUMP, EVA MENDES!!

photo of eva mendes pictures baby bump photos
Because it sure looks like someone’s hiding something to me. That or, you know, pretending to hide something so that people stop thinking about Robert Pattinson‘s availability and focusing on how much they burn over the fact that Ryan Gosling is still having sex with Eva Mendes on the regular.

Yes, it’s the obligatory “Is Eva Mendes pregnant?” story that pretty much everyone is running with, but guys, I have this feeling that it … I don’t even know if I can say it. I have this feeling that … well, that it might actually be true. I don’t know why, and I could, of course, be entirely wrong, but I don’t think it’s so much of a stretch to say that Eva Mendes is probably carrying the offspring of Ryan Gosling in her womb. And I just can’t even.

Here’s some insight from our friends at Cele|bitchy, who also have some curious-looking photos from earlier in the week:

… We discussed some other photos of Eva yesterday in which Eva seemed to be shielding her torso from paparazzi inspection. And now in these photos, Eva is wearing a very loose dress. Is she trying to tell us something? Something of the baby bump variety? Eh. I thought for a moment that she looked kind of pregnant from behind yesterday (go here to see those photos), but I really can’t tell in these pics. Pregnancy might explain why she and Ryan dropped off the radar for a little bit. And I could totally see an “unplanned” pregnancy for Ryan and Eva, quite honestly.

I mean, check her out. She’s looking a little meatier in the face these days (a common pregnancy side-effect), she’s shielding her midsection with a bag, and Cele|bitchy’s right—Eva and Ryan have kind of dropped off the radar for awhile, so it’s all got to mean something, you know?

I’m giving it maybe another couple of weeks before I think we’ll know for sure. Eva could just be complacent, thinking that she’s got Ryan hooked one way or the other and that she doesn’t need to hit the gym every single day in order to look good, or, it could be the *other* thing. The other *pregnancy* thing. And my oh my if it is.

This is … LOL! Sorry, I’m Sorry. This is Eva Mendes’ New Movie, ‘Holy Motors’ … LOL!

Here’s a brief and not-at-all overdone synopsis of the movie, ‘Holy Motors’:

“From dawn to after nightfall, a few hours in the life of Monsieur Oscar, a shadowy character who journeys from one life to the next. He is, in turn, captain of industry, assassin, beggar, monster, family man.

He seems to be playing roles, plunging headlong into each part… but where are the cameras? Monsieur Oscar is alone, accompanied only by Céline, the slender blonde woman behind the wheel of the vast engine that transports him in and around Paris. He’s like a conscientious assassin moving from hit to hit. In pursuit of the purely beautiful act, the mysterious driving force, the women and ghosts of past lives. But where is his true home, his family, his rest?”

Guys, I can totally see why Ryan‘s into a gal like Eva. She’s just so artsy and unintentionally attuned to what’s really going on today. She’s edgy and smart and chooses the best films that best showcase her super-best acting skills. Go Eva. No, wait—go Ryan. You’re onto something here, boo.

Ryan Gosling is Probably Going to Marry Eva Mendes Now, Sorry

photo of eva mendes pictures
From Us Weekly:

After nine months of dating, Eva Mendes is ready to take things to the next level with beau Ryan Gosling.

“She starting to think about marriage and kids,” says a Mendes pal. “She loves serious relationships, and she wants all of that.”

Luckily, Eva has an ally in Gosling’s mom, Donna, who is just as eager to see her son settle down. “Eva hit it off with Donna immediately,” explains the insider. “Now they text and email all the time!” So, naturally, when the actor went to Ontoario to watch his mom graduate from Brock University on June 6, Mendes was by his side.

Says the pal, “Eva and Donna just get along really, really well.”

You know, some of you guys have speculated that Eva is already carrying Ryan’s baby. Some of you (and by “you,” I mean “me”) think that a marriage is probably just right around the corner, because Ryan doesn’t strike us as a date-around kind of guy who’s interested in playing the field. Some of you (again with the substitution thing) think that Eva’s not even remotely good enough for our boy, Ryan, but unfortunately, there’s something that’s keeping his attentions drawn and his penis wired.

My guess is that it’s either babies, or there’s a whole lot about Eva Mendes that we don’t already know. And in either case, I’m pretty disappointed that, of all Hollywood beauties, Ryan would ultimately end up with Eva Mendes. I mean, she’s pretty and all, but it’s like … I don’t know, and anti-climax or something. It’s the crappy, joke, pre-gift that you get when you’re twelve and you’re expecting something big and grand and you definitely know that you got it but the gift-giver wants to make you wiggle and squirm and torture you with the idea that you definitely got something that was not as good as what you’d hoped for. That’s Eva Mendes. She’s the ultimate anti-climax.

… Yet aparently, there’s something to her, so we may as well get used to the idea that Ryan could be toting around a Mrs. Eva Mendes-Gosling for the rest of our days on earth.

Hell’s bells.

Stars Without Makeup: Even More Reason to Dislike Eva Mendes Right Here, Guys

photo of eva mendes pictures
I know: you guys are thinking, “God, as if I needed another reason, Sarah?”

These are photos of Eva Mendes being all domestic and shopping for things like flowers and Pyrex baking dishes, and I could completely vomit at how beautiful her stupid face is even without its stupid makeup on. It’s like, come on. Stop bragging, Eva. We already know you’re beautiful as it is, and we already know how damn lucky you are because you get to sleep next to (oh, and with) Ryan Gosling night in and night out, and now you really have to go and stick in our faces how lovely your face is first thing in the morning? I guess it’s all that Ryan Gosling-sex, you’re right. If any of us woke up next to Ryan Gosling in the morning, we’d probably look this good, too. You make a good point.

Also, I happened to notice that girl’s got eggs, flour, and bagged frozen fruit in the basket, so I’m going to surmise that she’s going to bake her man, Ryan Gosling, a fruit cobbler. And I have just THE BEST recipe for fruit cobbler, and it’s been tested. Recently. I made it last week, and it was so amazing that I had to fight with myself (almost physically) to not eat the entire thing. It was that. good.

So, you know, Eva, if you’re looking for some tips on how to bake a man-catching cobbler, just, you know, give me your passcode to Ryan’s house and I’ll whip it up nice and good for him. I definitely won’t be telling you how I’m totally planning on changing the code once I’m in so that you’re unable to barge in and interrupt what’s sure to be a lovely night of cobbler and candlelight (and I just bought the most darling taper candles), accusing me of sabotaging your plans and stealing your ideas, because really. Where would that leave me, then? I’ll tell you where: on the shitty side of a restraining order, duh.