Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Eva Longoria

Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria Go Flapper for the Weekend

picture of kim kardashian flapper boobs photos

Eva Longoria turned thirty-six this past weekend, you know. And to commemorate the event, she decided to throw a 20′s flapper-themed birthday party, and guests like Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and someone who looked suspiciously like Soledad O’Brien (it’s not – sorry, guys, I watched waaaayyy too much CNN this weekend, so I’m seeing Soledads and Anderson Coopers everywhere) partying it up in 1920′s attire. Tony Parker, naturally, was nowhere in sight.

Also, in light of recent events, and because the aforementioned Anderson Cooper ALSO thinks it’s a good idea (and who doesn’t love AC), why don’t you guys text REDCROSS to 90999 – it sends a $10 donation to the Red Cross, who are fighting to aid the quake and tsunami victims in Japan and other devastated areas.

Guess Who Has To Have Her Vagina Tattoo Removed?

Eva Longoria's Regretful Vagina Tattoo

As if divorcing her cheating husband isn’t painful enough, Eva Longoria is now having to remove traces of Tony Parker from even her most private of places.

The Examiner is reporting that the actress recently met with a tattoo specialist about erasing the three Tony-themed tattoos that Eva had etched on her body while the couple was together. There’s the “nine” tattoo on the back of her neck, their wedding date on her wrist wrist and the b-ball player’s initials on her you-know-what.

Yikes. As if having to remove a tattoo isn’t bad enough, getting one lasered off your vag because your marriage failed has to be the ultimate bummer.

Any of you ever made the mistake of inking a tribute to the wrong person on your body? Did you keep it as is, cover it up, or get it sandblasted off your bod like poor Eva?

Eva Longoria Found Out That Dog Tony Parker Was Cheating On Her By Reading His Emails

Yesterday it was announced that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are splitting due to infidelity on Tony’s side, and today we’re finding out how Eva learned of Tony’s affair. Emails and texts, of course. The way they used to do it back in the 1800s.

A source spoke to RadarOnline and explained what Tony did and how Eva caught him:

“Tony had Erin’s personal information stored in an electronic program that only he could access. It was a double shot for her because not only did she find all the information but Eva also realized immediately that Tony had taken steps to hide it from her. The fact that Tony had been hiding Erin’s information and their correspondence made Eva feel like he had been lying to her for months, and basically he had been. They have a long-distance marriage and that alone is not easy. There was already a lot of stress between them. But then when Eva discovered Tony had taken elaborate measures to lie to he she knew it was over.”

Dude, that’s so so so sad for Eva Longoria. No joke. And so so so telling about the state of human relationships. I feel like every single time I hear of people breaking up these days, it has something to do with someone’s email being read or some girl in Florida that someone met on Tumblr. My married friends are flirting on Twitter, my homegirls are breaking into their fuck buddy’s email accounts. As if cheating hasn’t always been a problem, we now have a handful of new ways to engage in it and get caught doing it.

Have you ever caught someone cheating on you via email or text or have you been caught yourself? What was the #1 thing you took from the experience?

Quotables: Tony Parker Speaks Out About Divorce

photo of tony parker basketball no shirt hot pictures photographs

“Eva and I have been discussing our situation privately. I was aware that she would be filing for divorce in Los Angeles. … I did not file for divorce in Texas and did not hire divorce attorneys in either Texas or California. We plan to continue to keep our discussions of this matter private.”

So, OK. Apparently, Eva’s public reaction wasn’t entirely on the mark, considering that Tony says that the two were planning to file for divorce anyway. The way that the media spun it made it sound like Eva stole Tony’s phone, left the house, and whipped it out in front of TMZ cameras to ‘check’ on who her man’s been texting, only to find – surprise, surprise – that he had a relationship with another woman.

Oh well. Lame, I know. But I’m battling the biggest flu of my life, and despite the fact that I’m sick as hell and even my toes and fingertips ache, here I am bringing you sub-par celebrity gossip today.

The Latest Infidel: Tony Parker, Eva Longoria’s Husband; Divorce Here We Come!

photo of eva longoria and tony parker divorcing wedding pictures photographs

Apparently the NBA’s Tony Parker is yet another male celebrity that can’t keep it in his pants.

Parker, who married Eva Longoria about three years ago in a castle in Frahhhhnce, is being accused of cheating on the Desperate Housewives star, and friends of Eva claim that she’s about a minute away from filing an official petition for divorce.

You know, I get that people are human and things happen whether they should or not, but come the fuck on. If you have a history or a habit of hopping into bed with randoms – though you’re in one of those ‘committed’ relationships – why even bother tying the knot? You’re only screwing your spouse down the road (merely in one manner of speaking) and putting yourself through public turmoil that’s probably not all that fun. Get with it, dude.

I’ll be honest – when these two married three years ago, I was like, ‘Yeah, let’s see how long this one lasts.’ Not that I’m, you know, any kind of marriage clairvoyant or anything, but this one just seemed doomed from the beginning, do you feel me?

Should be interesting to see how this story unfolds.

If Eva Longoria’s Plan To Build Houses In Haiti Works, We’re Horrible People

I came across this video today of Eva Longoria asking celebrities to get involved with her new charity that’s helping rebuild homes in Haiti, but something about the message seemed off.

Eva, along with eBay and Kompolt, have joined forces to auction off celebrity followers and “special Tweets” to bidders. Basically, if you want Ashton Kutcher or Lady Gaga to start following you on Twitter, all you have to do is make the highest donation to aHomeinHaiti.org. The video suggests that some celebrities can offer to donate a “follow” while other celebrities can donate a personal Tweet to the oh-so-charitable person. Probably something along the lines of “Big ups to @SuperCaringHuman 4 doing all the Haitians a solid!”

In the video Eva says that they’re auctioning off these Twitter “privileges” instead of memorabilia or other typical auction items, but I dunno… something about this feels kind of dirty to me. It’s basically just underlining the fact that people are more motivated by fleeting fame than they are by genuinely helping people. Do we really live in a world where someone is more likely to pay to have a celebrity follow them on a social networking site than toss some cash in the direction of their fellow man who’s in need? Gross.

That being said, you can feel free to follow me on Twitter. I might hit you back for free and uhhhh, technically I live next to a Haitian dude. Pretty much the same thing.

Eva Longoria and Her Tall Husband Are Embarrassing

Eva Longoria and her husband Tony Parker decided to give back big to their fans this year the old fashioned way: A straight-to-YouTube video of them reenacting the “Summer Nights” scene in Grease. It was made  to spark interest in a contest Tony is running on his site for fans. He wants people to submit their own videos that top his and Eva’s and the best will win tickets to one of his games. I’m thinking you all have a pretty good chance of winning if all you need to do is top this crap.

If I were to summarize this video in one word, that word would be “yeesh”. It’s pretty tragic. I found it to be extremely awkward to watch, what with the strange extras and Eva’s too-yellow wig and the lip syncing… I was kind of embarrassed for them. I’m sure, however, that there is a market for this. So enjoy it if you’re that kind of person or get ready to watch with one eye if you’re more like me.