Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Erin Brady

Did Steven Tyler Just Buy a House? And More Importantly, Is Steven Tyler Already Married?!

Photo: Steven Tyler and Erin Brady at a ritual officiated by Kahu Alalani Hill

Everyone is pretty sure Steven Tyler proposed to his girlfriend in Hawaii; new photos published by TMZ, however, have fanned the rumor that the couple is already married.

The photos show Tyler and longtime girlfriend Erin Brady involved in some sort of “house blessing” ritual, which, OK, these photos don’t really substantiate anything. Except…. Wait! Wait just one doggone minute! DID STEVEN TYLER BUY A HOUSE IN HAWAII?! I mean, he’s standing right there with some kahu (yes, as in the word “kahuna,” as in the gal in the hoop earrings and head-wreath), watching the pomaika’i take place.

More about “house blessing” ceremonies:

A traditional Hawaiian custom is the blessing of a new home or residence. New homes and newly acquired homes are blessed to bring peace, love, and harmony to the new family.

Hmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmm. So it isn’t unreasonable to speculate about this couple, then.

Neither is it unreasonable to guess that Erin Brady is already Tyler’s wife—after all, as I mentioned a couple days ago, Tyler’s family has been opposed to their union from the get-go. What’s more, a lot of Hawaiian priests are also able to officiate weddings. AND WHAT’S EVEN MORE, REVEREND ALALANI HILL—who, I have just determined, is the lady with the hoop earrings—specializes in MAUI BEACH WEDDINGS. Whoa, right?

Wow! Maybe this couple really is sneaking around Hawaii—buying houses, surreptitiously getting married, maybe adopting some dogs, getting IVF, the whole bit. Boy am I glad Steven Tyler isn’t vegetarian. After the blessing rituals, I bet he can take his bride to the nearest L&L for some (delicious!) spam musubi. Yum.

Rumor Mill: Steven Tyler Is Engaged! Probably

A photo of Steven Tyler and Mickey Mouse

You know what I like about Steven Tyler? You hardly hear about Steven Tyler. The man has even tried to be up-front about the skeletons in his closet—he published a sex/drugs/rock and roll tell-all this summer—but there’s just something about Steven Tyler that makes you go “Oh, huh, OK.” Like, there is almost nothing Steven Tyler could say or do that would make you clutch your pearls or call for smelling salts or otherwise feel titillated in the slightest.

Anyway. Steven Tyler is almost certainly engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Erin Brady. “Oh, huh, OK,” right? The couple has been dating since 2006, though! That’s practically unheard of!

I was watching Inside Edition yesterday (with my mother; yay for the holidays!), and they tried to inject the news with a little melodrama, saying that Tyler’s family is unhappy about the news. Why? Because “Erin Brady is mean.” That was word-for-word what Inside Edition reported. Heh.

I, for one, am happy for the aging rocker.