And I don’t mean Emma Stone as Elizabeth Bennet in just any tired old Pride and Prejudice remake, I mean Emma Stone as Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. And I mean it hard. She’s been offered the role already, she just has to be sweet enough to make my entire life and accept it.
Emma Stone is obviously beautiful, but she’s also a pretty great actress. You guys saw Easy A, right? Emma’s more than capable of carrying a movie, and a period comedy? I have no doubt that she would blow us all away.
I haven’t read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies or anything (should I? Can we get some book reviews happening in here?), but I’m nearly positive that I would weep for joy if Emma was officially cast. Because I’m an emotional lady like that. That, and I’m dying to see if a new Bingley can make me feel as tingly as the last one did.
You might remember that back in December, Emma Stone dyed her gorgeous, gorgeous red hair to a shade of blonde and I had really strong feelings about it. I admitted my undying love for gingers and we bonded over that. Remember?
Well, it’s been six long months of blonde hair for Spider-Man, but now, filming is over and Emma is back. I feel like a weight has been lifted from the world’s shoulders, you know, like this is one less thing that we have to have on our backs. For the first half of this year, it was like “ugh, the economy is so bad, so many horrible things are happening, we’re gonna get raptured soon, Emma Stone has gross blonde hair,” but now things feel just a little lighter. And isn’t that a wonderful feeling?
And yes, I am going to use the phrase “get raptured” for the rest of my days. It’s a fun way to refer to that apocalypse we all survived, and also I like to use it as an insult. The next time someone pisses you off, instead of instructing them to fuck off, tell them to get raptured. It’s a really great feeling too.
It’s blonde. It’s blonde, and it’s an abomination. Remember her hair before, her gorgeous red hair? Yeah, I do too, and that’s why I’m going to have to go into mourning now*. Thanks a ton, Emma.
Fortunately, there are a couple of things that make this tragic change a little more ok: she’s apparently naturally blonde (because genetics can be wrong too), and the switch is for her role in Spider-Man. She’s playing Gwen Stacy, you know, and if she’s going to go and get killed and fuck poor Peter Parker’s world all to hell, then she’s going to have to be blonde to do it.
What do you guys think? Are you as hurt as I am?
*I have an unhealthy attraction to the gingers in the world. Seriously, from my very first boyfriend with the surprise foot fetish to that awkward guy I briefly made friends with at a party last weekend, it’s redheads as far as the eye can see for me.
Emma Stone is absolutely gorgeous and after I saw Easy A, I was going around telling everyone that she was definitely the next Lindsay Lohan. A young, pretty redhead who can act pretty well and deliver laughs, right?
Then I caught Emma’s episode of SNL this weekend and eh, I dunno. Lohan kind of killed SNL her first time hosting and Emma’s whole episode was brought down by this one rude-ass impression she did of Lindsay. It could have been harsher, sure, but it was so unnecessary and the jokes were nothing new. In fact, they felt old. As if they were picked out of the carpet on the floor of the writer’s room.
I’m a gossip blogger. It’s kind of my job here to report all the details on people like Lindsay, but that’s Emma’s peer. A fellow young actress and one that was, at one time, hugely successful. The two look alike and so it’s natural that Emma would attempt an impression of her during the show, but the angle they took made the show look rustier than ever and Emma a little less classy.
What did you think of this sketch? I’d watch Fred do Joy Behar all day, BTW.
Miz Swift turns the big 2-0 on Sunday, and it seems like she wants a new look to celebrate. Taylor sported long straight hair, bangs, and methinks some extensions on Wednesday night, when she did dinner at Otto in NYC with John Mayer, then went to Tasti D-Lite (OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT PLACE) and a candy shop with actress Emma Stone. I absolutely love the new look — it makes her look more womanly and sexy and less girlish, which is appropriate now that she’s no longer going to be a teenager. What do you guys think?