Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan’s Parents Are Each Writing Memoirs

lindsay lohan dina lohan 2013

Image via NY Daily News

Lindsay Lohan’s parents have to be competing in some sort of “worst parent ever” contest. Mother Dina is working on a memoir that reveals how awful her husband, Michael Lohan/Lindsay’s father is. And Michael is writing a memoir about how awful Dina is. And Lindsay is stuck in the middle getting Botox.

Though it seemed like Dina told all when she appeared in a, shall we say, unfocused state on Dr. Phil’s show in September of 2012, she apparently has more to tell. She’s accused her ex husband of physical, mental and sexual abuse. Michael is saying that Dina is lying, and he’ll be sure to tell us all about it in his book tentatively titled, I Am Not Daddy Dearest…If I Can Turn It All Around, So Can You!. Brought to you by The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too. Seriously though, that really is the title of the book. I can only assume Dina’s will be titled Life Struggles with Dina “I’m Not A Regular Mom I’m A Cool Mom” Lohan.

This has to be embarrassing for Lindsay, but then again, if Lindsay isn’t going to do any work on paying off her insane debts, somebody’s got to make money somehow. Ha, just kidding, these books aren’t going to sell.

Do you think either book is going to be popular? Is there anything they could say that we don’t know already? And how do you feel about Lindsay stuck in all of this?

Of Course Jennifer Aniston’s in a Documentary About How Much She Hates Being Talked About Her and Angelina and Brad

Alright, so it’s not precisely about just that, but remember what I said earlier today—essential truths, guys. Essential truths.

Ahem. From IMDB, $ellebrity, a documentary about fame in 2012, photographers who hound, and common misconceptions that media outlets perpetuate:

Celebrity photographer Kevin Mazur gives an all access pass to life behind the velvet rope and in front of the camera.

The film stars Jennifer Aniston, obviously, Dan Abrams, Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez, Rosanna Arquette (because why would we want to hear from the more famous Arquettes?), Sheryl Crow, Bonnie Fuller, Salma Hayek, B.O.B., Elton John, Kid Rock, and Sarah Jessica Parker.

That being said, I think these celebrities should probably continue doing what they do best—pretending to be something that they’re not (that *is* what they get paid to do, right?) and leaving the scathing commentary to the rest of us. It doesn’t pay as well as a blockbuster movie, but hey. It sure pays the bills and lines the pockets.