Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Dita Von Teese

Bradley Cooper Turned Down Dita Von Teese: Girl, What?

A photo of Dita Von Teese

Look at this lady. No, really look at her. Oh my god, that fierce bitch is Dita Von Teese, and she is flawless. I can’t even wrap my head around how gorgeous she is: she is too beautiful for the human mind to comprehend beyond “nnngh.” I know she’s done some questionable things (marrying Marilyn Manson, namely, but she fixed that), but I honestly didn’t think that one single person on this planet would be able to turn down this lady if they were ever given the precious, precious chance to be in her presence.

But Bradley Cooper did. And he as to answer for this.

Dita Von Teese has claimed she is enjoying the single life, but she recently got blanked when she tried to chat-up Hollywood hunk Bradley Cooper in a Los Angeles restaurant, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

The star pair found themselves in trendy hotspot — Italian eaterie Farfalla in Los Feliz — at the same time when an eyewitness spied Dita, 40, licking her lips in the general direction of The Hangover star.

However, the burlesque dancer’s attempts at inviting Bradley, 37, over to her table floundered after she tried to send a drink his way. He refused her offer and left the restaurant without even saying goodbye! ( In September, Cooper revealed he’s been sober for 8 years.)

“Bradley completely snubbed Dita when she made a beeline for him,” an onlooker told RadarOnline.com.

“She was desperate to get his attention, so she asked the waitress to go over to his table and ask him what he wanted to drink. Bradley told the waitress he’s on a health kick at the moment and said he was fine.

“After that, Dita was looking over at him, fluttering her eyelids and wanted him to join her and her friend. But Bradley just wasn’t that into her, he ignored her eye contact and just looked down at his phone. He left before she did and didn’t even acknowledge her on the way out of the restaurant. She looked gutted.

“It really was an awkward moment for Dita, I’m sure a lot of men wouldn’t turn her down,” the source concluded.

There have been rumors that Bradley is back with his ex-girlfriend, Zoe Saldana, so I’m hoping that’s the case. I’m hoping that Bradley is just super faithful and in love with her, and that he wasn’t just some single dude with no attachments who turned down Dita Von Teese. Because my mind can’t handle that, it really can’t.

How Does Dita Do It?

Dita Looks Darling

OK, so I realize that about 90% of this woman’s job is to show up and look flawless (the other 10% would be snaking around half-naked inside of a large glass) but for real… how does this woman do it? And don’t you dare say “it’s all hair and make up! We’d all look that good if we had the glam squad she does!” because no we wouldn’t. So I have to know, I just have to know what it is that makes her the physical manifestation of every human’s dream woman because I think my head will break in two if I continue to live ignorant.

Check out these photos of her shilling something called the Cointreaupolitan in Madrid today. Not one hair our of place, not one gangly eyelash. Nothing. I’d hate her if I didn’t want her secrets so badly.

Dita Von Teese Likes Showering With Other Women

The always-effervescent and classic Dita Von Teese attended a book signing at the New Orleans Hotel in Las Vegas yesterday as part of the Rockabilly Party Weekend where she signed “autograph after autograph.”

Von Teese rocked a traditional country-western dress during the day and vamped it up later on at the opening with a low-cut red cocktail dress. The burlesque princess was later scheduled to perform at the Las Vegas opening of The Crazy Horse Paris, where she was scheduled for back-to-back performances. After taking part in what I’m sure was a pretty amazing show, Dita took to her Twitter account and stated:

“Confession: real reason I don’t do aftershow meet&greets each night is because I would miss out on the group shower with the dancers….it’s like gym class, but with beautiful french girls laughing & washing…this giant shower with happy, sweet, funny gorgeous showgirls!”

To the woman who has universal appeal: you’ve just addressed every androgynous sex dream, Dita.  Get some.