Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Danielle Fishel

Here’s Danielle Fishel Trying to be Funny

If this is any indication of what Danielle‘s going to be like when ‘Girl Meets World’ premieres, I’m sad to say that Ben Savage really needs to do some serious overacting to make up for Danielle and her Big Important Stage Presence.

This is Danielle, obviously, playing Lindsay Lohan playing Liz Taylor, and normally I’d say, yeah, go ahead and jump in—cash in on Lindsay’s self-plague of misfortune and milk that shit, but wait … no, I don’t think that’s all that cool, and I don’t think it’s wise of Danielle to hop in on this and make a mockery when she’s got her very own show debuting sometime in the near future.

Don’t get me wrong, Danielle’s still cute and all, but going for this easy shot? In such an over-the-top kind of way? I don’t like it—not a bit.

MORE Blind Items REVEALED: Liev Schreiber Punched Sean Penn

Faceless woman in a nice pink dress

You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.

Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

- Now we know for sure: Lea Michele is starting to behave like a real diva.

- Chris Brown is kind of a dickwad—a “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of dickwad.

- Stars who hate each other: Rob Lowe and Amy Poehler, Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet.

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I Wonder If The Folks At Jenny Craig Have Approached Elisha Cuthbert Yet

elishacuthbert

I think the writers over at Page Six have officially lost their minds.  They did a photo gallery titled “50 Fat Celebrities”.  So, I took a look, and sandwiched in among the likes of Kirstie Alley and Kathy Bates is Elisha Cuthbert.  You know, the hot, blond chick from 24?  I mean, did they just hit a point where they couldn’t think of anyone else so they just threw in some random picture?  Dudes, how about Raven Fucking Symone?  Raven I Love My Curves Symone dodged this bullet and Cuthbert, who admittedly does have some slightly unfortunate knee fat, is one of the top 50 fattest?

I’m feeling kind of depressed today and so did not need to wake up to this.  In fairness, I don’t know how old this picture of Elisha in a bikini is, but I have some in the gallery of Elisha over the past few months.  If this is the definition of fat, I’m scheduling my gastric bypass, stat.  Ah, poetry, and on only two hours of sleep.  You’re welcome.

My other issue is that they had dead dudes on the list like Elvis, Marlon Brando and Orson Welles.  It is my opinion that, once you kick off, you no longer have the privilege of a “Fat Celeb” title.

Other fatty title-holders include Kelly LeBrock, Rachel Hunter, Danielle Fishel and, yup, Jessica Simpson.