Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Crystal Harris

Crystal Harris is Cheating on Hef?!

Life & Style is reporting the Hugh Hefner’s fiancée Crystal Harris was seen cozying up to Dr. Phil’s son last night at Bar Marmont in Hollywood. The two sat closely and while Crystal wasn’t too inappropriate, Phil’s son, Jordan McGraw, was all over her, kissing her shoulders and holding her hand out in the open where anyone could see. Disrespectful, dude.

Crystal and Hef were engaged back in December, and while Hef has let his other girlfriends date in the past (so long as they weren’t disrespectful about it,) I have a feeling that he did not sign off on his fiancée talking to other men. In fact, a source close to Crystal told the magazine, “They’ve been sneaking around because Crystal is supposed to be happily engaged to Hef, and going out in public with Jordan would tarnish Hef and Crystal’s relationship image.”

I wonder what the broken-hearted Holly would have to say about this news…

This is What You Can Buy With Buckets of Boob and Gitch Money

photo of hugh hefner crystal harris pictures engagement ring

Hugh Hefner, if you’ve been under a rock for the past week, recently popped the question to his latest Playmate girlfriend, Crystal Harris. The couple took to their Twitter accounts to show off the ring, and by virtue, their odd bondage-fantasy-grandpa relationship.

The couple has been dating for some time now, and by ‘dating,’ I mean Harris has been solely in charge of keeping Hef’s penis in an airtight box.  Things do, you know, start to disintegrate and break down after they hit a certain age.

The moral of this story? Don’t let the dream die, guys. You, too, can build an entire empire on twentysomethings with low self-esteem and high plastic surgery rates who are just dying to take their clothes off for men way past their prime. All you need is a little drive, a lot of square footage, and a funky porn star-style robe. You got this.

Crystal Harris – The Newest Mrs. Hugh Hefner-To-Be

Hey, so have you heard the good news? Boyfriend Hugh Hefner is going to be a doting, loving husband once more. His latest girl-toy? Model/singer and Playmate, Crystal Harris.

Crystal, if you have no idea who she is, is the archetypal, busty, blonde Hugh Hefner clone, but this time? The love is for real, y’all. Hef claimed that he popped the question on Christmas Eve and Crystal obliged with burbling yeses and tears. The couple met back in 2008 and the rest was history:

Harris, 24, met Hefner in 2008 at the Playboy Mansion during one of the mag’s famous Halloween bashes. The model/singer … was Playboy’s December 2009 Playmate and served as 2010′s Miss January.

But don’t worry about Hef’s financial liquidity – Crystal has no interest in Hefner’s fortune because she has her own career don’t you know:

“I would say that I’m not after Hef for his money. I have my own career going.”

Of course ‘she would say.’  Believe you me, this girl is just hoping that she’s Hef’s current wife when he finally does kick, and now she’s just hedging her bets. You mark my words.

Anyway, check out Harris’s photos in the below gallery and see if she rings a bell for you. I tried to find a few of her fully clothed to mix things up a bit, but guys? There really aren’t that many.

Quotables

Hugh Hefner with Girlfriends Crystal Harris and the Shannon Twins

“The notion that I would want her back as a girlfriend is bizarre. I am now in one of the best relationships in memory with Crystal Harris and the twins. I’m not going to screw it up with former girlfriends. I would not trade Crystal Harris for anybody in the else in the world. And then this thing comes out and today is Crystal’s birthday … It’s ridiculous.”

Hugh Hefner, on the rumors that he wants Holly Madison back.

Listen up, Hef: When you talk about your girlfriend and “the twins,” and you’re referring not to her breasts but to your other teenage girlfriends, there’s a problem. Right there I can spot a problem.

Also, at 83 years old, you can stop with the references to “this thing” that “comes out” that everyone finds “ridiculous.” We all know what you’re talking about. Can’t you give the girl a rest on her birthday?

Hef’s Harem Gets a Third!

Crystal Harris

In addition to The Shannon Twins, Hugh Hefner’s Pussy Squad has added Crystal Harris, a 22-year-old student at San Diego State University.

Crystal introduced herself on an E! online message board over the holidays, telling fans that “Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion.”

No other girlfriends are in the mix at this time, she says, but “there are a couple that we have interest in. … As for now, it is just us three.”

I love it. “A couple that we have interest in.” It’s like rush. They make them all do the Playboy Cheer and then vote by secret ballot or some shit.

Crystal’s never been in the magazine, but she did appear in a series of topless and semi-nude photos as a Co-ed of the Week on Playboy.com in late October under the name “Crystal Carter.”

Her MySpace page is here.