I feel absolutely terrible. I actually believed earlier reports that Hugh Hefner‘s ex, Crystal Harris, pawned off her 3.39-carat engagement ring soon after jilting her fiancé. That would have been so tacky, if it were true.
So if you have somewhere between $20,000 and $30,000 in spending money, bid now! You could own this glamorous piece of celebrity history! But go to the bank first—I heard Crystal likes to be paid in singles.
Christie’s screenshot via TMZ
September 30, 2011 at 4:30 am by Jenn
Whoa, whoa, what the…! How the…! Crystal Harris—who notoriously dumped Hugh Hefner days before their wedding—is living with a different guy! And while the pair isn’t dating, the guy’s identity is definitely interesting.
So who is Crystal Harris rooming with? Why, it’s Dr. Phil‘s son, Jordan McGraw! Whaaaat? How the hell do these kids even know each other?
TMZ reports that the Littlest McGraw is hard at work producing Crystal’s upcoming album.
August 12, 2011 at 6:30 am by Jenn
“[It lasted] like, two seconds. Then I was just over it. I was like, ‘Ahh.’ I was over it. I just, like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef. Sorry.”
Thanks so much, girl. You know I was wondering what the life of a fame whore might be like. You know I was doing some serious pondering on the issue of marrying for money and also so more people would be interested in your vagina. So glad you could answer these questions. I know I can always count on you, Crystal. Never change!
July 27, 2011 at 5:30 am by Emily
Their 60-year age gap caused titters, and jeers,
But did it cause, too, wedding jitters and fears?
Though Hef could see her affection had faltered,
He was nonetheless blindsided when dumped at the altar.
What follows is from Hef’s interview with Piers Morgan;
Makes Hef seem real sad—Harris, more like a gorgon.
I’d like to keep rhyming and steal all the glory,
But as the journalists say, “Let the quotes write the story”:
…As we got very close to the marriage, you know, something was not right. But I didn’t see it coming, I truly didn’t see it coming.
At last Crys admitted her feet had gone cold,
Hef recommended just putting the wedding on hold.
He thought he’d reassured her; he’d obviously failed,
Because, by next morning, their relation-Ship had sailed:
That was only half the story obviously, because the next morning [after our conversation], without my knowledge, she was packing the bags.
Though it’s crystal-clear Crystal just used him, then shoved him,
Hef maintains that she really, really, really did love him:
I think an argument could be made that she took me for a ride, but I must say, quite frankly, it was a pretty nice ride. If she was faking it, she did it very well.
In conclusion—because I can’t keep this up—poor Hef! I really believe both of them. I have faith that Hef was genuinely marrying for something that maybe felt a little like love, and I believe Harris was totally sincere when she said, “Are you kidding? It was all for publicity.” Man, did Hugh Hefner ever dodge a bullet.
July 15, 2011 at 7:30 am by Jenn
See, kids, this is why you don’t start relationships with your boss. Because then things get all complicated and you freak out because he’s approximately eight million years older than you and then he gets you a sweet cover for his porno mag, then totally embarrasses you on it by referencing a Julia Roberts movie. And, like, how are you ever going to face your friends after this?
June 16, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Emily
“For a while, I’d been having second thoughts about everything, so I haven’t really been at peace with myself lately. It was all just happening too fast for me. I just sat back and thought about it all. Is this what I wanted? And it wasn’t. There was no fight. He understood, and we both agreed that it wasn’t the best idea to get married. He was doing it for me because he thought it was what I wanted. [I] wanted to be true to myself … This isn’t the lifestyle for me.”
I’m also sure that the time of her break-up and releasing her Playboy cover being at the same time is just a total coincidence, too.